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Talkback: Embrace the pain… or the pain relief?

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  • well with two elective c-sections under my belt im as un-natural as they come but my sprouts are perfectly healthy and doing great!
  • I wanted just gas and air for my 1st,but it was a difficult labour,I was induced and it lasted about 25 hours,so I ended up with pethidine,followed by an epidural.2nd,3rd and 4th,I had gas and air and pethidine.The pethidine seemed to hurry the last bit up,but certainly made it more bearable and me more relaxed.5th was no pain relief  cos it was a homebirth,till the pushing stage when I insisted on gas and air,probably more psychological.6 was another difficult one,baby got stuck,I had loads of gas and air and what started as a planned homebirth turned into a rush to hospital in an ambulance and baby was delivered with a ventouse.7 got stuck again,I had gas and air,they refused to give me pethidine and finally agreed to an epidural after several hours,shortly before deciding on a c-section.

    Childbirth is painful,but there's drugs there to deal with the pain.Why wouldn't you use them.Every labour is different,every woman is different.I've had labours I needed the pain relief and those I didn't .

    You should be free to make the decision for yourself,without fear of judgement or interferance by those who apparently know betterimage

  • I was 3 days in labour with moss, ended up taking everything that was going and he still needed help to get out.  i hated the epidural but it was necessary as i was just too tired.

    with skye i had a pethidine injection and found the labour much easier.

    you do what you have to to get through the labour, everyones labours are different as are pain thresholds, if there's something there that can help there should be no shame in taking it

  • I went into my labour with a very open mind towards pain relief. For me it was a case of; we'll see how I get on and if I need it, I'll have it. I was in slow labour for two weeks before active labour started and then it went very quickly. Nine hours from start to finish. I spent most of it in the bath (which I hated and would not do again), I had planned for a water birth, but because I was so tired from not sleeping for a few days because of contractions, my midwife convinced me to have pethidine. The minute I got back onto the bed, I refused to move, I was far too comfortable. After a quick examination it was found I was 9cm stretching to 10 and my waters still hadn't broken, so I wasn't allowed pethidine (something I'm quietly glad of now). I had a little gas an air as my waters were broken which revealed my son to have had a bowel movement and was quite distressed, probably due to my waters not going when they should have. He then shot into the world like he couldn't wait to get out of there. I am very pleased with how my birth went and I found that the atmosphere was a great contributor to being able to handle the pain, as well a fantastic, really bossy midwife who I loved. I think the decision should be down to the mother what she wants. I enjoyed having a natural birth, but if things hadn't moved so quickly, I'm pretty sure I'd have opted for pain relief.
  • I asked for all the drugs they could throw at me with my second daughter, Ava. Unfortunately she came along a little to quickly so all I got given was a smile & hand holding from my wonderful boyfriend Lee. To be totally honest it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would. I just wanted pain relief so that it wouldn't hurt. I'd asked for an epidural with my first daughter, Mia, but it was delayed & I had Pethadine instead. It stopped any pain but I hated not feeling in control. I felt so out of control. I couldn't even hold my head up. Again, Lee was a great support looking after me. For me I think the best pain relief was a great birthing partner my mind off things. I feel so lucky image
  • I was open to anything but not necessarily well prepared (we were early and hadn't had antenatal classes). My waters broke 4 weeks early, and I was induced after 48 hours with no contractions. I'd wanted the birthing centre and to try the water birth, but because of being early I had to have an attended delivery on the ward. But this wasn't a bad experience. I had a great midwife and student.

    I was induced w/ Sint/Pit?ocin? and found that hard going as you have little to no break with the contractions, initially the gas and air really helped. I got to 7 cm. I was able to stand up/move about till that point, then said to the midwife could we talk about other pain relief. She suggested the epidural.

    The epidural was fine going in and the first dose was a relief, but the position you are in i.e. lying on back seems to slow things down. The epidural wore off just as I became hyper reactive to the sintocin and I ended up having to wait 45 mins for the anaesthetist to top it up. I then got really too high on the gas and air while waiting, which then made the top up of epidural seem too strong, I couldn't feel contractions at all to push.

    My labour was 7 hours in total but the last two were just a blur waiting for the epidural top up (really off my head w/entinox), then w/top up my lower half so numb I couldn't feel to push, felt tired from gas and air, and only when my husband said they were going to call the doctor to intervene (and not knowing what that meant) did I really come out of my haze to push (even though I couldn't feel a thing).

    My daughter came out with the chord wrapped around her neck and elevated co2, I got to hold her for a scant few minutes then she was whisked off to scbu for assessment/treatment. Luckily she was only in for 3 days. I kind of wish I wasn't so out of it at the time, all I can remember was asking over and over if she was going to be alright. And not being as elated as I expected, just kind of out of it and dozy (and lots of chaotic bustling to take care of baby, then me)

    Oddly I think I would have planned for better management of the epidural and not used the gas and air as much if I had known how my body/brain would react to the entinox. The pain was no where near as bad as some people make out and I think careful planning might have kept me lucid and might have meant quicker enjoyable delivery (i.e daughter might not have needed scbu).

    As a first timer, all I would say is that I heard many worse tales, it wasn't as scary or as painful as some make out, in the end, it was all worth it - I have a happy healthy beautiful girl!
  • It's a personal choice and each birth is different! I had pethedine with my first two babies , my third baby was a waterbirth in hospital and with my fourth (and final) baby I had no pain relief at all. From my point of view it's easier to 'go with the flow' and keep an open mind as far as having/not having pain relief goes..
  • I had diamorphine early in the labour to help me sleep as I was exhausted from no sleep the night before. Apart from that just the trusty tens machine which I had on solidly for 40 hours. I think it really helped as apart from the contractions I felt in my back, the rest were manageable and the 2nd stage I did not find painful at all, probably cos I was "doing" something by pushing if you know what I mean! 
  • The details of Adela Stockton's publication is out of date: the book is titled "Birth Space, Safe Place: emotional wellbeing through pregnancy and birth" published by Findhorn Press 2009. See www.adelastockton.co.uk
  • Adela Stockton is an idiot. Just because it is normal doesn't mean it is good. Shame on her for trying to get women to avoid better pain relief. The more pain that is relieved the better and no, you are not an evil harmer of babies if you choose to have as much pain relieved as possible. Just sensible and not easily pressured. So the baby will be slow to breastfeed - oh yes, I am an evil harmer of babies aren't I as I like the convenience of bottles and don't like having my breasts used as if I was a beast of the field. I like my breasts, I don't want to breastfeed. My baby gets fed well enough with bottle milk. Good job emotional blackmail just bounces right off me. Poor women who feel guilty and are encouraged to do so by doulas and people like her. So I have the best pain relief possible, I am not abusing my baby. Two people are in the labour equation and going through hours of unecessary pain is rather worse than being a baby who is not made to suffer. Homeopathy and essential oils - just give me an aspirin when one of my legs has just been sliced off, why not? Oh, yes, more pain would mean it's closer to meeting my baby - well guess what, I could have figured out the longer that labour goes on, the closer I am to meeting my baby. Pain there for a reason? Sure. My vagina is having a 7lb baby squeezed through it, that is the reason I'm in pain. Why would we treat it with drugs like a disease? It hurts that's why, you bloody idiot. Ironic that Adela Stockton thinks she's doing a good thing for women. Oh yes - one more thing - if it hurts a lot, I yell out. I get pain relief not because someone doesn't want to hear me (if they didn't want to do that they'd buy ear plugs) but because they care and want to do the best for me. Women shouldn't choose, they should be given what helps them most. The easily pressured women who feel bad about getting drugs are the ones who shouldn't choose as poor things, they've been pressured into "choosing". Don't feel bad you guilt ridden easily pressured women - say it loud and proud - "I demand the finest drugs known to humanity, I want them here and I want them now".
  • Janey u are fantastic.. I've just been reading ur post and everything u said are my thoughts exactly.. U should write a book based upon this subject... Tell people what the truth is about what it's really like 2 give birth and bringing up ur baby in the real world.. I'm not a follower of the natural candle lit..soft music.. No drugs.. Yoga position Earth Mother Labour... Don't get me wrong it's up 2 the mother what kind labour she wants it's just not for me and I think there's 2 much focus on all the natural birth.. Breast feeding subjects.. It's pushes mums into thinking that it's the best thing for the baby and it makes them feel bad selfish mums when their labours don't happen in this way.. Or they don't breast feed the baby they are depriving the baby of what's best for them and ruining their life by feeding them the dreaded Formula in a Bottle... It's just nonsense that in todays society women are made to choose what other people decide is best for their baby or be frowned upon.. It's ur own mind and body so keep an open mind and just go with the flow and stay strong in what u believe is best for u and ur baby.
    I've had 3 kids and experienced 3 different labours.. My first was 14 yrs ago and I had 2 be induced in every way possible and I asked for every pain relief there was and he came out fine.. 2nd was 18 months ago I had emergency section coz everyone failed 2 notice my son was breech until my waters went then they realised he was stood up feet first... And last but not least Lola arrived 6 months ago.. I was booked for a section but a few days before I started having contractions so I was kept in so they could squeeze me in for my section when there was a slot.. I was in agony but kept being told I wasnt in labour.. I had no pain in the front it was all in my back.. I was given co codamol and told i was only 3 cm so 2 get a bath 2 ease the pain.. They made me feel a mard ass and just 10 min.later out popped my daughter in 3 pushes.. No drugs at all coz there was no time and I thought I was dying it hurt that much... It was back labour so the contractions weren't showing on the monitor.. Never ever again do I want that kind of pain I'm not a mard ass when it comes 2 pain but that was something else.. Oh and none of my kids were breast fed either much 2 the disgust of my midwives but my babies have been healthy and not harmed.. Do what u want not what others want u to do... Just go with the flow ladies
  • Hi it was nice to read every one else's experiences they are all so different. I had my first baby in feb 2010 and I was induced. My water's were broke with a hook (hurt like hell!) and I was put on a Syntocin hormone drip to get my contractions started. Halfway through my partner and the midwife agreed to turn the hormone drip off until I had had an epidural becuase the contractions were way to strong for me. Finally i had my epidural that worked for about 30mins at the most so I had to have another one which my partner had to give consent for as i was too out of it to know what was going on, and that also worked for 30mins max. So I ended up just using Gas & Air which was ok made me feel really funny though did take the edge off the pain though. I was pushing my baby out and then the midwife said she needed to get the doctor which said I wouldn't be able to push the baby out, I would be there for atleast another hour and needed to use the ventouse. So I agreed to this but the pain was to unbearable so I had to tell her no! I wanted to do it on my own and that was that so 10 minutes later my little baby was born. So much for her hour. He had a few problems at first so we had to stay in hospital for 3 days but now one year on he is healthy, goregous and amazing. I can't remember life without him.

    Rachel xxx

  • I had being doing daisy birthing classes and these really prepared me for labour and helped when the time came. I would highly recommend them to anyone over 14 weeks pregnant. Sam is now 10 1/2 weeks old and his birth was amazing, gas and air formally the last 20 mins but the breathing techniques and movements and education made me listen to my body and I knew instinctively what I had to do!! Sam was born in two hours of contractions starting and I am so proud of myself for having a natural birth as my first was a diamorphine baby! A lot of my friends have been to the classes too and had very positive birthing experiences
  • I had gas and air and took diamorphine. My baby was back to back and I was having contractions every 10 minutes for 5 days before I went into active labour and the hospital would admit me. By the time I took the diamorphine I was on a saline drip for dehydration and a hormone drip as my labour wasn't progressing quickly enough: I had been in the labour ward for 12 hours. I was another 8 until my baby was born as she was stubborn to turn. I'm not ashamed that I took the drugs, and was just pleased that I made it to the "other side" with a healthy baby. I think women should be able to use whatever drugs/methods they are happiest with without judgement from other parts of society (including natural childbirth). It is right for some people, just not for me, and I'd do the same again.
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