A man is not an expert.He doesn't have the parts to qualify.
The day he throws his dignity out the window,bears all to a roomful of strangers and passes something the size of a small melon,he's welcome to tell us about the benefits of pain.
*&^%$ and lots more rude words.Pain in childbirth was Eve's punishment wasn't it,and maybe nature's way of keeping down the birth rate.
“Pain in labour is a purposeful, useful thing which has a number of benefits, such as preparing a mother for the responsibility of nurturing a newborn baby.” what a load of bull, if he had his way we'd be back in the fields pushing babies out while we worked and the maternal mortality rate would rise again.
this man is no expert, i would hate to have him, or any other man as a midwife
The day a man becomes an expert in childbirth is the day he has to push one out a 10cm hole!
I had pethidine with my 1st, gas and air with my 2nd and 3rd and didn't have time for anything with my 4th and believe me it makes no difference with how you bond with your baby.
The logic of some of these comments are staggering. If a female midwife who has never had or attended a birth were to make such a statement some of you would say "she has the parts to qualify". Change the gender and even if he has overseen & followed up hundreds of births, some here would say "he is not qualified". Unless I am mistaken the point is to reduce the reliance upon synthetic pain killers as parenthood can deal out pain well beyond what any pain killer can deal with. Mothers stop vaccinating their children under the advice of other Mum's (with deadly consequences) but will not listen to the advice of an expert with experience. Sigh... modern mob mentality.
mo only problem with what he is saying is that being inpain makes us better equiped to be mothers-Im not really sure i follow that argument. I have never experienced any pain like that in my 6 years of motherhood (except when giving birth obviously!). I think that it must be quite easy for someone who has never experienced childbirth to say, 'work with it' but what he is essentially advocating is choice isnt it?! the other methods mentioned there included hypnosis which wasnt on offer at my unit. having said that though-a very drug fuelled labour was definately what i wanted!!
Pain is generally your body telling your brain ouch that hurts don't do that to me.You have a headache,it hurts,you take a painkiller,you get a toothache,the same,period pain the same ,human beings have invented medicines to overcome pain.Childbirth is the only situation where pain achieves a positive result,baby.However if doctors,experts too,can give medicine of any kind to help that pain then there's no reason not to accept that help. While above I did make an off the cuff remark about the man not having the bits to qualify that is just that.We are among friends,we make comments like that.I did have a very,very good male midwife deliver my third baby.My initial reactio was no way,I'm going home,when I saw himbut I was soon thinking,OMG,how do you know that,you haven't got those parts so how can you know what's happening.Answer is same way a mechanic can fix a car,but then a car doesn't have emotions or feel pain.He was very good,can't stress that enough,but my best experiences of midwives have been those who've been there themselves. I've experience 7 different births,a forceps,a ventouse,a section,natural,and a homebirth.I've had gas and air with all,with one simply for the something to bite on for security at the end,pethidine for some and epidural for two of them.My worst birth experience was with an inexperience young lady midwife who insisted I didn't need pain relief because it was baby 7 and he'd just pop out if I pushed hard enough even though I was only 7 cms dilated,and I'd had mostly easy births,rather than treat each birth as different,as they are,even with the same mother.A change of staff,I was told the opposite,given an epidural and told absolutely not to push and carted off for a section. You get good and bad midwives ,male or female,but really anyone who makes sweeping statements about pain they haven't experienced themself is never going to go down well with those who have.Although I haven't tried a waterbirth yet,maybe next time,I've been there,done that and got the t shirt as far as giving birth goes,and there's absolutely no foundation to the idea that putting yourself through pain you can remedy somehow prepares you for life a a mother.
my pain in child birth was only my pelvis spliting..midwife thought i was exagerating at the scream that were coming from me....6 months after i was dragging my body across the floor.....pain isnt good for some .
Hmm.. sounds to me like my dad's comment before i had my daughter.... Its just like pooing a watermelon.... Yeah right dad! another he's never been there experiencing the pain!
I ended up with an epidural in the end due to an episiatomy (spelling?!) and it was the best thing on the planet after 23 hours of labour! The 2nd however was much easier (c-section ! )
The pain in childbirth may well help us women to bond more ??? but , even if that is true, we certainly do not need a man - who has never and can never - experience the pain of it to tell us that.
my labour was 59 hours of hell. i had (and still have) symphysis pubis disfunction, and as a result i was vomiting with each contraction as the pain was so extreme. i had gas and air for approximately 30 minutes at some point early on, then gave up as it made me hallucinate. After my daughter was born i was asked if it was worth the pain... my honest feeling and response at the time was 'no'. but now i can honestly say it was. now everytime i get hurt or feel in pain now, my automatic response is tht i dealt with worse in labour, its nothing compared to that. so in a way i do agree with part of his comments. but i am also positive that it was an ordeal so bad that i will never have another child, and im still suffering daily as a direct result of giving birth.
I don't think that if childbirth was NOT painful, we would then not love our children. We have still been pregnant with them, and carried them the 9 months.
mummy72 - don't let your bad experience put you off, as labour and birth usually gets easier (well it did for me).
i had no pain for my daughter, she was a planned section a few days before her due date, and i adore her, worship the ground she walks on and bonded very easily with her, and we still share an extremely strong bond now, like no other, so its nought to do with pain.
An oncologist knows how to treat the cancer, just like a midwife knows how to deliver the baby. The difference is, the Oncologist doesn't know the pain the patient is feeling, can only try to imagine, nor does the midwife, unless he/she has been through it themselves.
Only a male midwife knows he will never have to go through the pain of childbirth, so it is easy to say it is a good thing, he knows he'll never experience it.
Replies
A man is not an expert.He doesn't have the parts to qualify.
The day he throws his dignity out the window,bears all to a roomful of strangers and passes something the size of a small melon,he's welcome to tell us about the benefits of pain.
*&^%$ and lots more rude words.Pain in childbirth was Eve's punishment wasn't it,and maybe nature's way of keeping down the birth rate.
“Pain in labour is a purposeful, useful thing which has a number of benefits, such as preparing a mother for the responsibility of nurturing a newborn baby.” what a load of bull, if he had his way we'd be back in the fields pushing babies out while we worked and the maternal mortality rate would rise again.
this man is no expert, i would hate to have him, or any other man as a midwife
I'm sorry but he is no 'expert'
The day a man becomes an expert in childbirth is the day he has to push one out a 10cm hole!
I had pethidine with my 1st, gas and air with my 2nd and 3rd and didn't have time for anything with my 4th and believe me it makes no difference with how you bond with your baby.
Silly man
SP.
any one who hasnt been there, male or female, doesnt 'qualify' to make rash comments like pain is good for us.
While above I did make an off the cuff remark about the man not having the bits to qualify that is just that.We are among friends,we make comments like that.I did have a very,very good male midwife deliver my third baby.My initial reactio was no way,I'm going home,when I saw himbut I was soon thinking,OMG,how do you know that,you haven't got those parts so how can you know what's happening.Answer is same way a mechanic can fix a car,but then a car doesn't have emotions or feel pain.He was very good,can't stress that enough,but my best experiences of midwives have been those who've been there themselves.
I've experience 7 different births,a forceps,a ventouse,a section,natural,and a homebirth.I've had gas and air with all,with one simply for the something to bite on for security at the end,pethidine for some and epidural for two of them.My worst birth experience was with an inexperience young lady midwife who insisted I didn't need pain relief because it was baby 7 and he'd just pop out if I pushed hard enough even though I was only 7 cms dilated,and I'd had mostly easy births,rather than treat each birth as different,as they are,even with the same mother.A change of staff,I was told the opposite,given an epidural and told absolutely not to push and carted off for a section.
You get good and bad midwives ,male or female,but really anyone who makes sweeping statements about pain they haven't experienced themself is never going to go down well with those who have.Although I haven't tried a waterbirth yet,maybe next time,I've been there,done that and got the t shirt as far as giving birth goes,and there's absolutely no foundation to the idea that putting yourself through pain you can remedy somehow prepares you for life a a mother.
Hmm.. sounds to me like my dad's comment before i had my daughter.... Its just like pooing a watermelon.... Yeah right dad! another he's never been there experiencing the pain!
I ended up with an epidural in the end due to an episiatomy (spelling?!) and it was the best thing on the planet after 23 hours of labour! The 2nd however was much easier (c-section !
)
The pain in childbirth may well help us women to bond more ??? but , even if that is true, we certainly do not need a man - who has never and can never - experience the pain of it to tell us that.
I don't think that if childbirth was NOT painful, we would then not love our children. We have still been pregnant with them, and carried them the 9 months.
mummy72 - don't let your bad experience put you off, as labour and birth usually gets easier (well it did for me).
An oncologist knows how to treat the cancer, just like a midwife knows how to deliver the baby. The difference is, the Oncologist doesn't know the pain the patient is feeling, can only try to imagine, nor does the midwife, unless he/she has been through it themselves.
Only a male midwife knows he will never have to go through the pain of childbirth, so it is easy to say it is a good thing, he knows he'll never experience it.