What constitutes controlled crying?

I'm trying desperately to get ds to sleep in his own room for his daytime nap. He's been up since 7am and had a brief 20 minute power nap this morning. I really think he needs another nap now so i've put him in his cot.

He's been crying for the last 15 minutes. He's perfectly happy while i'm up there with him stroking his head but a minute after I leave he's crying again and I'm going back in and not picking him up but stroking his head again so he knows i'm there. Is this cc? He's only 16 weeks so i don't want to do cc yet but i need him to take a nap in his cot so he gets used to it for nighttime.

I haven't even had time for a bath today yet, HELP!!!!

edited to say that he hasn't been crying on his own for 15 minutes' i've been up and down stairs to him constantly in that time.


  • Have you heard of PUPDCD (pick up/put down/cry down)? It's an alternative to CC and is apparently more effective for daytime naps.

    Basically you put him down in his cot after using some sleep cues such as putting him in his sleeping bag (if you use one!), reading him a story/singing a lullaby, putting on his mobile, say 'night night' or whatever then leave him. If he cries leave him for 10mins (the CD part, to give him a chance to settle himself) even if he cries (not that long at his age) then if he is still crying go back in, don't talk to him but pick him up and ssshhh him and pat him until he goes quiet. As soon as he is quiet put him back down. If he cries again pick him back up and reapeat the ssshhh/pat until quiet then put him back down again. Continue to repeat this for 10mins (may involve quite a few pick ups) then put him back down a final time and leave him again for 10 mins even if he is crying. Then go in again and repeat the PUPD for another 10mins and then CD for another 10mins. He should have gone to sleep by this point but if not it's suggested that you stop and either take him out for walk or rock him off to sleep in his pram. The idea is that they learn to fall asleep on their own and each time you do it it will take less time for them to stop crying until eventually they learn to self settle. The key is that they fall asleep in the cot and not on you so don't pick him up and comfort him until he's asleep.

    It's less traumatic than CC as they are only left to cry for short periods but teaches them to fall asleep without you.

    'Sleep training' is not for everyone and i'm sure plenty of people wont agree with the above method i've suggested but i got to the same point as you with my LO and i had to rock him to sleep for naps (although he settled fine at night?!) so i tried this method and it worked. He now self settles for all his naps in his cot with no crying and he sleeps for anything from 45mins to 2.5hrs!! And he's a much appier baby for it.

    Perseverence is the key!


  • 16 weeks is far, far too young for any kind of sleep training. At that age,they don't understand that when you're out of sight,you will come back again. They're only just getting their heads around the concept that they and you are not the same person. Please don't leave him crying, he's probably terrified.
  • Im with Maenad on this one. If you do feel you need to attempt CC, and some people do so not 'poo-pooing' it, it is not recommended before 6 months as they dont understand why you havent come back to them before then.

    Can I ask why you want him to sleep in his cot in the day? Does he settle in there at night? I only ask as my boys are now 14 months and still have their 2 daytime naps in the buggy. I dont need to rock them anymore, or take them out in it, I just place them down when I know theyre tired and they fall asleep. It doesnt affect their nighttime sleep at all (they have always slept badly at night!) and they have always gone to bed really well - I put them in awake, read a story and dont hear a peep till 1am ish! But thats a different problem! lol!

    Gemma, Ryan and Alfie 14 months
  • I can't bring myself to leave him crying for even a minute never mind 10 but i appreciate the suggestion.

    i need him to get used to sleeping in his own room though because he's outgrown his carry cot in our room. he self settles fine in his carry cot in our room at naptime and at night.

    i'm already doing the bedtime routine for his nap - feed, burp, change, sleeping bag and cuddle. it's just not working. normally he sleeps well during the day in his buggy but we're stuck inside due to the weather.

    i've given up and brought him downstairs now. he's sitting on my knee yawning his head off, totally shattered wee mite.

    i had hoped that if i can get him to sleep in his cot during the day it'll make nighttime transition easier...
  • Oh bless you hun.

    Can you tackle getting him in there at night first, when he 'should' be asleep and then tackle daytime naps afterwards?

    Do you have room to set his buggy up in the house? We have ours in the Dining Room, although we cant move much with a whacking great double buggy in the way, does mean I have an excuse to do very little!lol

    I cant leave them to cry either! Hope you get somewhere soon xxx
  • Do u make sure nursery is dark for naps and quiet ? Black out blinds are good. Do you tie in nap with bottle maybe feed the bottle in the nursery and then lay him down, he might realise and associate it with nap time. Some babies like routinr so maybe if you try putting him down at same times each day. Did'nt work for ours he slept when he wanted.
  • could you clean your buggy wheels and rock him to sleep in that? x
  • I would try putting him in his cot everytime he gets sleepy- even if he doesnt end up napping there just so he associated it with naps and put him down there everytime he falls asleep somewhere else so he wakes up there x
  • I let Sophie cry for a couple of mins sometimes when she's down for a nap, as she tends to fall asleep pretty quickly if she does cry. I never last for more than about 1-2 mins before going in though.

    I remember reading somewhere (maybe Gina Ford?) saying that if you have a lot of problems getting your baby to nap during the day, attempt it at the same time every day, if it means putting them in the car and driving around to get them to sleep then do that. If you do it at the same time each day for a few days then their body clock gets used to the set times, and they realise that it's nap time.

    Might be worth a try. x
  • I agree with some of the other replies that CC shouldn't be done before 6 months. My LO often only slept for 2 x 20mins slots during the day but from about 6 months she started doing 2 x 30-40mins and 1 x hour (a blessing).

    Can you put the carrycot inside the cot for a little while so your LO can get used to it. Also - have a mobile for them to look at. I also have gotten into the routine of taking my LO upstairs saying, it's time for a sleepy. She may cry for a few minutes but if she's really tired she'll go off. A nice comfy teddy bear can't hurt either.
  • Oh just thought of another thing. Don't wait until there are really really looking tired before taking them upstairs. Try to catch the sleepy signs early and whip them into bed. I found I was waiting until she was REALLY tired - and then she'd get grouchy.
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