Some advice please

Hi girlies,

My baby is 8 weeks old 4 weeks corrected. He has a real problem self settling. He wants to be cuddled all the time literally.

Initially i thought it was because he was always hungry so switched him to hungry baby and he seems a bit better.

He used to sleep in his moses in the day after feeding he would go down but from 5 weeks onwards he just cries as soon as u put him down. He will only sleep on me or hubby. I sometimes manage to put him down on the sofa next to me but mostly wakes straight away.

Ive tried swaddling and the hot water bottle thing.

He sleeps in moses at night fine although it takes about an hr to get him to go off which i sssh pat and hold dummy in. he will then mostly sleep 4-5 hrs, feed then go in basket again.

I cant get anything done in the house without him being strapped to me. U put him in bouncer and cries more or less instantly. I let him grizzle to see if he will self settle but it soon turns in2 a squeal and ob i pick him up.

We noticed today when he was sleeping on hubs that he kept waking himself panicking that he had been put down, he realised he was still on daddy and went off again. He did this a few times.

I understand hes only young but surely he needs some independance too.

Any advice



  • we had this for a while and i just though he needed the closeness so we carried on cosleeping and having him near me until he was ready to self settle, i used a sling to do chores or did then when hubby was about, he did grow out of it and became better with time, he may just need the comfort for now? when he eventually did settle he was on a wedged matteress in a sleeping bag x
  • I was commenting to my hv the other day about my clingy baby. She told me of her theory that really there are 4 trimesters for some babies - the 3 while you are pregnant and then another one after they are born when they just aren't quite ready for the world and need the constant reassurance.

    I'm having the same problems and my nipper is 16wks. Some periods of the day he's happy enough on his mat - more so now that he's a bit older and can play but mostly he wants to be held. Bit of a nightmare in some respects as I've also got a 3 year old to entertain.

    Is this your only child? If so, then I would say just go with it. Believe me, all too soon he'll be up and running about and you'll have to bribe him to come and give you a cuddle. You can't cuddle a tiny baby too much imho, he's far too young to have any kind of independence - you sound like you're getting him to sleep at night not too badly and the housework can wait.

    My in-laws i'm sure think that the baby has me wrapped round his little finger and it may be true, but i was exactly the same with ds1 and he is now 3 and incredibly independent and confident - maybe as a result of the constant reassurance he had as a tiny baby?
  • No, he doesn't need any independence, he needs comfort, security and cuddles. Invest in a decent wrap sling, strap him to you, and give him what he needs.

    Soon enough you will be chasing him around the lounge hoping for a cuddle, this phase passes so quickly. Don't wish his babyhood away!
  • Yes ive been wearing the sling so i will just go with it. Hubs was saying the same hes only small once and will not always want cuddles so we should enjoy him wanting cuddles.

    In-laws tut abit that i carry him around. He will be in his sling christmas lunch we will all be happy then.

    Happy baby= happy mum and dad.

    Bought a baba sling but doesnt seem to safe to be bending dwn etc.

    Any suggestions? using a cheap one from argos but it hangs to low and kills my shoulders.

    Read that new research suggests that u should cuddle a baby as much as they want and if u dont let them cry (attend to them right away) They cry nearly 50% less after a year old.

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