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Over attached???

Not baby, me!!! I know everybody adores their child and I do I absolutely love everything about her, but am I over attached? When other people take her, just while I make a cuppa or go to the loo etc I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, my jaw is clenched and I need to get her back as quick as I can! I'm the same with DH, he took hold of the pram the other day and I freaked out- I said it was like having my arm ripped off, it just felt a real wrench!!! My friend took the pram for me today in boots while I was paying and I said 'oh I'll take her now' and she was like 'it's ok' and I was the same, horrid feeling, needed to take her back! I'm spending my Xmas with all of the family and I'm dreading her being passed round!!!! Is this normal? I feel vile about returning to work and it's 4 months away!!! Help!!!

Replies

  • I felt this with ds1 and to a slightly lesser extent with ds2. It'll wear off eventually although if you're like me you'll never take full advantage of a lie in - even when ds1 stays over at his grandparents i end up getting up early to go and pick him up because I miss him so much!
  • Hey Hun



    I remember this from when my LO was small. It is better now she is almost 2 but there are only certain people I will leave her with, but yes when she was a baby I hated it, people wanting to hold her, and passing her round, and never leaving her alone. I also got that feeling in my stomach, like sicky, even when leaving her with Hubby sometimes!!!!!!!!! She will be 2 on 5th Jan, but she has never slept out anywhere. Luckily my in laws are in UK and we are in Channel Islands so I don't have to worry about them too much, except the stupid things they say to OH and when OH decides we need to visit or they come here, but when that does happen, they are the people I hate the most being round her.



    I also hated and still do, people saying things like 'hows my girl?' Err, no she is my daughter, my girl, not yours!



    So, anyway, just rambled and haven't been any help but just wanted you to know you weren't alone!



    Goodness knows what I will be like when No 2 arrives! xxx
  • DS is 9 months now and I'm a lot better but still get like this! But it was terrible when he was little, I'd get envious and sick at certain people being in the same room let alone holding him! I hate being this way as it can't be healthy but I can't help it! Xx
  • It took you so long to get Sophia hun, don't be so hard on yourself she's still so dinky and dependant on you. BTW you're an ace Mummy!!
  • Ohhhh thanks girls!!!! She is an amazing little girl and I'm quite smug that she doesn't seem to like being passed round anyway (probably because she is with me constantly), she generally cries to be passed back! At least it's not something I should be worried about!



    Here's to being a mummy, best thing in the world!!! xxx
  • im a bit better now but i used to hate going round FILs house when both of mine were tiny. he insisted on holding them and when they cried to be handed back he was reluctant to do so and went all moody if i did take them off him. it was awful though because i used to have to try and leave them with him for as long as possible and they would be screaming and getting all het up. also, with my first he would try and do thigns like feed him his bottle when i knew he would take it off anyone other than me or OH without a fight, then he would again scream and refuse and id have to go home with a grumpy baby. i know how you feel. going back to work was easy for me though because i work nights now, so they are asleep while im working and i dont miss out. however, with my first i went back doing 2 daytimes a week and i hated it so much.xx
  • Sometimes I think I'm too much the other way! As soon as I get to my mum and dad's I off load lo onto the nearest relative and head up to my old bedroom for a kip! I don't usually see him much at all and I quite like it lol! Not saying that to make you feel bad but I think whatever you are like with lo there us something to worry about or feel guilty about. Don't worry, you are a lovely mummy. XC
  • It doesn't help that she is really sensitive, my hubby worries as she cries if I leave the room, he thinks I've spoilt her and she is moany because I act like her slave but I think it's only me who knows what she wants, how she likes to be held, fed, carried, rocked. She doesn't act well with others unless I'm holding her or she can see me!I just think it's her personality anyway so not too worried about that!!! Faith it's prob a good thing, my cousin is a fab mum, she off loads her youngest a fair bit but it's just made her baby very adaptable and it means she has the time she needs...I'm screwed! I can't really do anything though, my mum is talking about going to a spa for a day, I just have a knot in my stomach thinking about leaving her for the day, I can't bear it!!! It's probably not the leaving her though, just worrying that someone else can't give her what she needs! Anyways....
  • I'm not too bad with the passing about thing, probably because Finley is my 2nd! There are a few people I will leave him with quite happily if need be, but I can NEVER leave him feeling 100% comfortable and happy. I'm constantly wondering what he's upto, what the person looking after him is doing with him, is he happy, does he miss his mammy etc. I find it hard to relax when I'm not with him. I sympathise with the pit of stomach knott/sicky feeling. I too get that if certain people are hogging him! And I'm with you as well in feeling that nobody else knows how to even handel my baby, not even my OH. I've had a tummy bug, you'll have probs seen on facebook, and it's been horrible leaving hubby in charge, he doesn't seem to know what any of his little whimpers mean or anything... us mummies can read them like books but nobody else can!



    XXX
  • Aww Lynsey I know!!! Same here with the house being a mess when I'm out of it, hubby cannot multi task!!! Same here about knowing Sophias cry. It's weird because when I read the baby books and they said you will get to learn your childs different cries...I thought how ridiculous, it's just one type of cry but I know what she wants. I hate it when she is tired and I tell people she's tired and they continue to talk in her face and lift her in the air or bounce her up and down resulting in meltdown and then they think I have a difficult child! I have one friend who comes round about 6pm, she's a teacher so once she's all done at school etc it's late in the day. She always comes round and proceeds to bounce my child whilst I'm making her a cup of tea, even when I've pre-warned her SHE IS TIRED!!!! I get back and she's in tears, annoys the hell out of me!!!!



    Hope you are feeling better? xxx
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