Agh! Please help!

Hi everyone

I am new to this site and need some help image

My daughter is 13 months old, and slept through the night (7pm - 7.30am) from 8 weeks old.

She's always been an angel when it comes to sleeping - goes to her cot sleepy but awake at 7pm, falls asleep and wakes up at 7.30am.

But this past month all hell has broken loose!

For 3 weeks she would go to bed normally, but wake constantly through the night. Up to 20 times! Then she'd wake up and be ready to start the day anything from 5 - 6.30am.

It must have been a phase because she then went back to her normal sleeping habits - 7pm-7.30am without waking. She did this for 3 days.

But this past week it's all gone wrong. She refuses to go to bed at 7pm. Even though she is clearly tired, she will refuse to sleep. She screams (and I mean SCREAMS, not crying!) if I leave the room. On average it can take an hour or more to settle her. She then wakes around 4am and I get so tired that after an hour or so I just take her into our bed where she sleeps perfectly.

I am getting exhausted - she can't sleep in my bed (3 nights is bad enough when it comes to making a habit of it!) but I can't leave her to scream either because hubby has to get up for work.

I am stuck :? she used to sleep so well!

She has transitioned from 2 naps to 1, which she takes around 12.30-1pm and it lasts around 1.5-2 hrs. I thought this was causing the problem, but she has done this and slept through before.

I have tried controlled crying - left her for 3 mins, 5 mins etc. but she will get herself into a right state. I'll settle her, and she'll start again the moment she knows I'm leaving.

Last night for example here is what happened.

8pm she finally went to sleep.

10.15pm she woke, I went in and out to her.

12.15am - she went to sleep

12.25am - awake

1am - took her into our bed, fell straight to sleep.

She isn't in pain, not hungry. It's just when she knows I leave the room. I've tried tiptoeing, waiting til she's not looking. Heck last night I was 'ssh'ing from the other room, so she could hear me lol.

She gets herself into such a state that it really upsets me. She doesn't cry, she just screams like someone is scaring her, stands up in her cot and will stay like that until I come to her. I'll pick her up, she'll stop, fall asleep on my shoulder (or nearly asleep) and then start again the second she's back in her cot and sees/hears me leave.

Any ideas for an exhausted mama?


  • you sound just like me except my daughter is 7months. she slept perfectly right from birth, only woke at night for a feed and then by 3months had dropped all night feeds and went 6.30pm-7.30am. but just recently shes done this too. we have found it happens more when shes had less sleep, shes only been having one long nap in the daytime, and this makes things a lot worse. yesterday was our first day at home all day in ages and she had a long nap, and 2 smaller naps in the car when we took hubby to work and back and last night she actually slept. the only problem is im out all day again today and i know shes going to struggle to sleep again. im obviously a bit lazier than you though, because i put her in our bed when she cries all the time, but i work 3 nights a week so getting sleep on the other 4 nights is important to me, and 'happy baby, happy mamma' so dont feel to bad for doing it. i did it with my son too and he outgrew the habit by the age of 2ish so dont let yourself feel guilty..xx
  • What's the setup in her room - darkness, nightlight etc?

    When she was about 18 months my daughter went through a phase of having night terrors - I wonder if maybe your DD has had some bad dreams and it has made her insecure and want you with her? Maybe adding a nightlight or even a dreamshow mobile thing might offer her enough comfort to encourage her to settle on her own?
  • thanks for the replies. I am wondering if it is because she is sleeping less in the day. She used to have 2 naps of about an hour each, but dropped a nap a few months ago.

    If I put her down for a nap in the morning she usually resists. On the rare occasion she does sleep, she will sleep 30 mins - 1 hr, then not sleep at all for the rest of the day which makes her overtired image

    she has pink night lights in her room which she has had from birth. She has slept in her own room in a cot since she was 11 weeks - nothing really has changed.

    She used to have a lot of night terrors but would only take a quick cuddle to settle after. Maybe they're getting worse?
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