How to tell family member I don't want them looking after LO?

Hi ladies,

I know I am early in asking this, but my LO is 4 months, and I'm hoping to take the full 12 months off if possible. I have to go back to work, and before I finished up, they agreed that I could go down to 4 days a week. My OH works Sats, so he has a day off midweek. So that leaves 3 days where we need childcare. OH Mum and Dad said they will help out, so I'm hoping they will do 2 days, and if they are happy to, do the third day too.

My SIL (OH's brothers wife) moved here from eastern Europe over a year ago, and has floated from job to job, but hasn't worked in the last 6 months. She's pretty lazy, and doesn't like working- her words! I have visions of her wanting to take care of LO, and I don't want her too. I'm already dreading leaving LO with her grandparents, who I trust completely. I don't want her to look after her.

And tips on how I can avoid this?!


  • I think you need to get the grandparents on side for this. I cannot imagine that they are thrilled with a daughter in law who freely admits she cannot be arsed to work, so I am sure they will understand your reasoning. However three full days of childcare is a big commitment from a family member, so it may be that they will only do two in which case would you be happy to send lo off to nursery or a chilminder for the extra day?

    A year is a long time and your sister in law could very easily have her own baby to look after by then, so I wouldn't think too much about it until a lot nearer the time.

    Hope this helps

  • If she's that lazy then is she likely to want to saddle herself with a small child to look after?
  • i was about to say the same as salks!

    my mil used to say she wanted lo all the time, for one day a week. ikept saying no. the last time she pushed it and i said we're fine firmly and she left in a sulk and hasnt mentioned it since!
  • I would speak to the in-laws and get them to confirm this... the earlier the better. So if your SIL brings the subject up, you can give it a quick body-swerve and say you have it all sorted.

    She might think it'd be easy money or just something to do. But she probably has no idea how hard looking after a toddler is for 1 hour, let alone a whole day!!

    If the in-laws can't manage 3 days, would you consider childminder or nursery? xx
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions

Promoted Content