Need help with a very clingy newborn

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  • Sorry but don't you think it's a bit of a strange question? She's 3 weeks old, of course she wants to be held, why on earth would you think that is clingy? I'm trying not to be critical but I'm not sure what you are expecting people to suggest for a child that's less than a month old and wants her mum?? If you are waiting for a solution to keep her quiet or settled whilst you deal with your other child etc I don't think there is one, maybe you should focus more on trying to get your family to entertain/babysit your older child so that you can spend longer with your baby.
  • totally g/c and normally bite my tongue with threads like this but that reply is so unnecessary - if you dont have anything nice to say just keep quiet - the last thing new mums need is to be publically berated by a complete stranger!
  • Hear Hear MrsAd-well said! x
  • Seemed like a perfectly sensible reply to me. Labelling a 3 week old 'clingy' - for heaven's sake!
  • Maenad - You're not even worth a response! image
  • Wow - what supportive and helpful replies mn88 - you must be really pleased you posted.



    I will be in the same situation as you soon, with 2 under 2, and I am hoping to rely on my old friends the sling and the vibrating chair when my older baby needs me. I promise though, like all stages, eventually your little one will be able to be put down and you can have your arms back! I became very skilled at doing everything one handed! I would say Sam became less in need of constant contact at around 8 weeks old. Try and enjoy the cuddles while you can - they don't last long. xxxx
  • Same old Baby why I never post in here blah blah blah!!!



    Not everyone wants to shove their first onto their relatives, she may just want to give a good amount of attention to both children what a horrible mother she must be.... image
  • morellouk - what an unnessary reply!!! Mums come on to this forum for help and support, if you have nothing supportive or helpful to reply BORE OFF ( in the words of another BE'er)



    I cant say anymore then what coco has said, but HUGS xxxxxx
  • Mn88 it will get easier. It's difficult trying to juggle baby, housework, cooking, shopping etc when you only have one arm to do it with. There are days when I get nothing done other than feed ds1&2 and washing bottles cos ds2 wants holding constantly, but I know it won't last forever so I'm making the most of sitting on my bum watching tv :lol:



    Take no notice of the unhelpful and quite frankly rude and uncivilised comments, you were asking for advice, not a lecture, and it did not warrant such hostility. If people do not like a question someone has asked why can they not just simply ignore the post and not reply? Non of us come on here to be bitched at and made to feel like sh*t or inadequate mummy's, if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. There is no excuse for rudeness!



    Xxx
  • Hi! My DS is the same (still at 12 weeks, sorry to scare you!!) but he is slowly improving and I can put him is his chair or his crib with the mobile playing for long enough for me to have a shower or microwave some leftovers from the freezer for dinner. It is knackering and I hardly know my own name most of the time, but I know things will get easier. I did try to get him into a routine, but it was two days of hell, and I realised that I wasn't enjoying him as a result, so went back to letting him lead me.

    I don't know what your original post said as you've deleted it, but I see that you've got 2 to look after, so I know you're not in the same position as me.

    I hope things get easier for you soon, and ignore the spiteful comments, you're just trying to do the best you can in the situation x
  • I agree with the girls with more positive replies, how rude to attack someone asking for help, i hope you dont teach your own little ones to do that.



    Perhaps mn88 would like for her first born not to feel pushed out and away from her mum just because the new baby arrived! maybe she'd like her to feel just as important and loved as usual.



    Anyway, on to the proper reply. Cant add much more as people have already mentioned sling which i found helpful.

    Pehaps just taking time to lie baby in cot or basket, spending time singing to her and stroking and tickling her might make her feel more safe when not being held whilst knowing your there and she may gradually get better!

    Sorry if thats not much helpas i'm aware with 2 you must have next to no time!!



    xx
  • mn88, i'm glad u asked this (although not entirely sure what the original question was as u've deleted it, but thinki get the gist)... dd is 4 weeks old and i'm yet to get to sleep before 3am, and even then it's with her sleeping in with me, if i keep trying to get her in the crib, i'm looking at 5/6am and thats only because i eventually give in...as u knwo i also have a 21month old, so getting to sleep at the crack of dawn, and then being woken by ds soemtimes only half hour later is beginning to take it's toll...while i love the cosleeping (it's not somehting i did with ds)i need to try getting her to sleep in her own bed, not just for her, or me, but ds, and OH too (bless him, still on the sofa since we got back from hospital lol)...i'm sorry i don't ahve any advice, as she's also a very snuggly baby during the day too, i know it will get better (i mean, i don't know any 5 year olds who have to be held all the time, so it must do eh?) so for now, i'm just tyring to pay ds as much attention as i can when dd is asleep,or is home and can take over holding dd...try putitng her in her moses basket whens she's having some awake time, just to get her used to being in there, eventually she'll be more familiar with it and thus willing to sleep in there, it's what we're doing with dd and she does settle in there during the day sometimes now, but the crib in the bedroom is still a complete no no, but it worked a treat with ds....or put a top of urs that u've been wearing that day over the mattress so she can still smell u and think ur near (again worked with ds, but dd seems to be a bit more stubborn lol)...sorry no real help, but after one or two rather unnecessary replies, i figured u could do with knowing ur not alone and ur not doing anything wrong xx



    oh ps, i've taken to doing loads of extra reading with ds, and puzzles etc so he can sit next to me on the sofa whilst i feed dd and we can do the puzzles together...i completely understand that u don't want ur eldest to feel pushed away now u have a newborn, and it is (in my opinion) important that they feel as included as possible, rather than being shoved off to other people as was suggested by someone earlier :roll: ...so any things like that should help u to still have time with ur eldest whilst still giving ur newborn the cuddles they want hth xxx
  • I think I waffled enough to gibe you some ideas how to help on bis09, but wanted to give you some support on here.



    Yes 3 weeks is tiny, but 2 children under 2 is tough and mn88 was only asking for advice. There was no need to attack her!

    Maybe you wouldn't term 3 weeks as clingy, but maybe see past that and give her tips about coping with a newborn and a 16m old???



    honestly people try play nice :roll:



    xxx
  • oh er - cant imagine how tricky it must be with two (hopefully find out soon as were are ttc 2 also.



    There are some fab suggestions from lovely ladies above and some i will take on board also in prep for number 2.



    Much love to you x
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