What does your OH do around the house?

Ladies, I'm loosing patience with my OH. He does bugger all around the house, and I think he has misunderstood that the purpose of my maternity leave is to look after our baby, not to be a skivvy.

On a daily basis, I do LO bottles, wash all the dishes, do LO washing, and our washing, hang it up, put away the dry stuff, make the bed, put the bins out, buy dinner, cook dinner. Oh, and keep a 4 month entertained all day. And by god, does she need entertained, everything is a battle with her. Naptimes result in screaming until being sick, going out for a walk is another screamfest until we actually get moving.

I go to bed at 9pm because I am absolutely shattered, and get up the next again morning to do it all again.

Other mums seem to bob along in a sea of absolute bliss, whereas most of my days are the exact opposite.

My demanding baby is exhausting. Housework is exhausting. Having a lazy fianc???? is exhausting. Hmmmmm. Sorry, this has turned into a moan.

Is it too much to be getting him to do more? He works 9 hour days usually, so works hard. He does LO's bath time and puts her to bed. But thats about it. image


  • Not at all too much to ask hun. My OH leaves the house at 6.30am, gets back around 7pm & often ends up cooking dinner because I've just not had chance! And he's no angel either - refuses to do any washing up but he does tidy up, would do anything he's asked to do around the house at weekends (other than washing up), though he still has a long way to go when it comes to seeing what needs doing & then doing it... Although I think I am fighting a losing battle there!

    Could you maybe write a list of all the things that you do & go through it with him? I honestly don't think the men have any clue on the amount that we do & that might help him to realise?!


    Its the little things that pee me off like leaving the milk out or expecting me to hunt the house for his washing and then complaining theres nothing clean! ARGH!!
  • I defo think my OH thinks the same about maternity leave, its typical that on his days off out LO totally behaves or sleeps for ages so he thinks that i get most of the day to myself!!! i dont think so

    He doesnt do anything round the house, never has done, he is now having to make the odd dinner or its go hungry, he did help just after the birth when he was on maternity leave but nothing now, ive explained to him that even picking up his dishes, shoes etc would be such a great help as i hate things lying around.

    on his day off this week instead of having family time he took LO out for a walk and i stayed behind to do the house work and get a sunday roast on.

    guess its just men! all we can do is explain to them we need some help, the odd time i have got him to do housework, i have given him a choice of 3 things say and asked him to do one, that way he is doing the chore he prefers! see if that works
  • My hubby prob does more than me!

    He washes up - cleans, does a tidy up, hangs up washing....

    Think he realises that being at home with the twins is HARDER than a day in the office.

    We work as a team - if we didn't think I would have cracked by now!

    You should defo talk to your hubby. Ask him to do your 'job' for just one day. Then he might realise just how hard you work.

  • I think you should tell your oh everything you've done each day. Or you could go on strike and only look after lo, see if he notices and helps out!

    My oh is great, I'm not expected to make dinner every day, although I'm sure he would love it! he probably makes it most nights. He'll do stuff before he leaves in the morning like put on the dishwasher / washing machine. He is generally very tidy anyway so I don't have to pick up after him. The jobs that he hates doing are cleaning the bathroom and changing the bed so they are definitely my jobs.

    The only sticking point is the ironing. I've stopped putting my clothes in the ironing pile unless they absolutely have to be ironed, so I've told him that he needs to iron his stuff as I don't like doing it while lo is about and I'm too tired at night. So the ironing pile is massive and full of his shirts and tshirts just waiting for him to iron them because he won't wear anything that isn't ironed...

  • My DH does make my dinner, do bottles in the evening if I'm too tired, and will clean/tidy anything he's asked to at the weekend, he isn't as keen at nighttimes but he will do stuff if I ask him too. He's getting better at offering to do stuff while I deal with DD too though he is still always going to ask me what needs done rather than see it for himself but to be fair to him, I'm a bit scary about our routine etc and he's probably too scared to get something wrong, lol!
  • Mine does very little. We got a cleaner a few years ago as I was fed up spending my weekends doing it! I do all the cooking (which I enjoy) and the washing (which I don't). I don't really iron anything, so he does his own shirts

    I think there seems to be a bit of theme - they'll do things if asked but don't really take the initiative!
  • My hubby isnt too bad either, he works from home most days so is always around if i need him to watch the baby for a while, although hes is usually on a conference call so its not that easy.

    We have a cleaner that comes in twice a week to clean and do the ironing which is a god send for me.

    I still manage to fill my days with loading and unloading the dishwasher and washing and drying all of ours and Wills clothes, bottles, entertaining Will who is turning into a right diva and wants my attention every minute of everyday...

    Hubby always cooks the dinner too - otherwise he wouldnt eat haha!

  • Even though I do whinge to OH he does do a lot. He does the 7am feed before he goes to work and the 7pm feed when he comes home. If he's home earlier - he'll take over doing her bath and I get on with the dinner.

    Re general jobs - he mainly only does the bins. I do everything else. BUT on the weekend he always offers to do all of Amelia's meals, plays with her. This enables me to do my 2 hour run on a Sunday morning. He cooks once a week as well.

    Doesn't seem like a lot but he is working a 11 hour day including commute so I can't really complain. It'll all change when I go back to work in a couple of months.
  • 1) sleep all day

    2) get in the way

  • My OH usually cooks dinner and will help me give LO a bath and puts him to bed. I normally do most of the housework though it hasn't been done for a couple of weeks but to be fair I have been doing uni coursework as well as looking after LO. He'll do the bottles etc if I ask him and when he's off he'll tag team with me for the night feeds. Overall I think i'm pretty lucky!
  • About the same as yours! I had the conversation with him last night as I was getting really fed up - and he made tea tonight! Result!! image Mine doesn't do lo's bath time or anything either so actually does less than yours (don't get me started! lol).

    Best thing to do is talk to him - I was starting to really resent him and it was going to erupt into a big row at some point but thankfully I told him calmly last night how i felt like I was on my own (or may as well be!). Am hoping it'll now improve!! It better!!

  • Bins, Washing up, Washing Clothes, Cleaning out pets, Cleaning bathrooms, basically all the dirty jobs...

    I do...

    watering flowers, writing out cards, wrapping presents, cooking dinner, food shopping...
  • My pet hate is the OH layin 80% of the time some weeks. When i've been getting up early for work or to take our toddler to playschool or when I have to wait for him when i want to go shopping or do something

    Generally i dont expect him to do any house work I'm far to house proud and like things done a certain way so he'd only feel critised if he did attempt to do anything. However he plan flatley refuses to wash an dry up.

    He say's he'll do the night shifts when our baby arrives but tbh if I'm the same as with my DD I will be wide awake an out of bed sorting the baby as soon as he makes a peep.

    I'm too soft image

  • sounds like some of you ladies need to have a little chat with your OH's!!!!

    My OH does shiftwork (policeman) so when he's on his nightshifts i tend to do everything around the house as he's so shattered in the day time and i know it's tough but when he's on any other shift he does all the cooking and we share the cleaning. i do pretty much everything else but tbh i don't mind because he's paying the bills whilst i'm on leave. when i go back to work in april he will have to pull his weight a little more but to be honest....i like to do the chores, otherwise it don't get done the right way!!!

    luckily our LO is down by 7pm these days so when he's got a night off work i don't mind if he plays on his PS3 all night long...by that time of day i've done all that needs to be done in the house and I usually have a bath while he listens out for the baby.
  • Mine puts out the bins and makes up ds2's nightly bottle if he's around, that's about it unless I ask him to do other stuff.

    But I'm on maternity leave and he works really long days (basic 8-6 but often he's on call so doesn't get home in the evenings until really late and isn't around much at weekends, so I think it's fair enough that I do most things. although half the time this means things just don't get done since the boys keep me so busy.
  • My oh works shifts but he usually only works 3 x 12 hour shifts, mostly nights so he's often at home more than as I work 29hours a week

    when I was ml I didn't mind doing most of it and he was working hard and I was at home but he has always done the cooking as he's much better at it than me and its a passion for him

    Now we both work we do share jobs, but I seem to do the crappy ones like bins, toilets!!!

    I have come to realise over my 35 years of life that men are programmed totally differently to us and they don't think like we do about housework and don't see it either!!!! I can walk in from work and moan about the mess and he doesn't even see what i'm talking about!! I have spoken to him in the past when his help has laxed and his reply is well just ask me and i'll do it, which he then does

    so I think the big battle with men is realising what they are actually like and their brains just don't think in the way we do

    so sit down and tell him how you feel and that you need help and I bet he'll be shocked and didn't even see it!!

  • Lol my hubby thinks that im on holiday!!!

    He doesnt do much i do everything for our baby sometimes he feeds him and changes him.

    He moans if i ask him to do anything, he loves playing games when he gets home and it really annoys me.

    He helps abit at weekends

    your not alone

  • I'm agreeing with what claie-a-belle said!

    You have to speak to oh and find something that works for you.

    Men are totally programmed differently. My hubby has told me i have to ask or tell him as he cant/wont see jobs that need doing unlike me who can constantly see things to do lol!

    He getting better as he has routine, i usually work from 330 until 10 at night so he tries to clean up toys in living room and wash up before i come home BUT sometimes if he been too busy playing with his ps3 (when lo in bed) i see him rush to do these tasks before i start moaning and nagging lol!

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