Smirked at.. am I wrong?

I feel like I being made out to be a fraud! This is why..

I describe my 2hr 30min labour as a traumatic birth!

So many people ask my birth story and seem to smirk when I describe it as traumatic, they seem to suggest that short is lucky and long is traumatic.

My first born was a 7hr labour, gas and air, vaginal delivery. All in all a good birth!

2nd born, dd.. Started with dramatic, sudden full blown contractions 3mins apart.. My body went into complete shock.. I didnt get a chance to get used to a build up of pain. I was sick, shaking and in unconsolable agony. Ambulance called, waters broke on way, and she arrived not long after. Post birth I heammarahed too.

Am I wrong to say this was a traumatic birth, really? Id of much prefered my7hr or longer one instead!


  • I don't think you're wrong in saying you had a traumatic labour at all! It sounds like you really went through it even though it was over a shorter space of time. From my first contraction to having my little boy was 52 hours! Now people may well consider that to be traumatic but to be honest it wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it would be and i was more tired than anything as the contractions were every 4 minutes or so, so i couldn't get any sleep. I surprised myself and thought that i coped well with the pain and only used the gas and air for the last 2 hours. I feel very lucky that my labour went the way it did and although lengthy, all in all it wasn't too bad. Fingers crossed the 2nd one is like that! I think unless people have experienced your labour which obviously they haven't they they can't really comment on whether or not it was traumatic! x
  • As far as I know (as a wannabe student midwife!) very short labours can definitely be considered traumatic as there is not really a build up, it's just straight in to it if you know what I mean. Add to that the baby coming out very fast which can cause a bit of damage, and you definitely have a traumatic birth!

    I think your first labour sounds ideal- you had time to get used to what was happening but not too much time. Quite like mine (except I ended up with pethidine)- 1 hour per cm (from established labour at 4cm) plus an hour for pushing

    I really don't think people can judge you on something like that- quick is not always considered best xx
  • I was induced with my first daughter, had a really long horrible draining labour which ended with a ventouse delivey and an epidural. It was horrible and i thought at the time the later stages were quite traumatic. I developed an infection and although they would have liked to have given me an emergency section but they couldnt.

    My second daughter i had been uncomfortable all day, i went to the hospital they didnt believe i was in labour and i hadnt dialated, so they were going to keep me in for an hour. Within 10 minutes of my examination i was gripped by immense pain and tightenings. They decided to admit me to the deliver suite 'as i wasnt dealing with the pain very well' I got on to the ward at 6pm by 6.50pm i had given birth to my 9lb 9oz daughter with no pain relief!! I was seriously painful and from my point of view more traumatic than my first birth that had been plagued with complications. I can well imagine your 2.5 hour labour was very traumatic for you!
  • I personalyl think your labour sounds traumatic but it is a very personal thing. Like Nikkinoos says, people expect me to consider my labour traumatic (3 days ending in emergency csec and sent to diferent hospital cos mine was closed!) but actually I didn't find it too traumatic at all (not idea lol don't get me wrong) but I wouldn't describe it as traumatic.

    Ignore those people that smirk Palmtree!!

  • regardless of length etc, if it was traumatic to u, then it was traumatic, with out all the rest of it...everyones perseptions are different, and so is each experience...u don't need to justify to anyone why it was traumatic, the fact is that u found it traumatic, and no one can argue with that....i know in the grand sceme of things my first birth was fine, in the sense that we both came out at the end of it in one piece, and i know people have had much worse experiences than mine (lengthy induction, fetal distress, emcs) but that didn't stop me suffereing from post traumatic stress as a's ur experience, and u and only u, know's how it was to u, if that makes sense? xx
  • Both of my labours have been short, and while they were ok, I was very lucky with circumstances and had things been different they might have been traumatic - eg my waters went at midnight with no2, so hubby was home and roads were clear, had it been rush hour and he been 15 miles away at work, in the opposite direction to hospital, the 1hr13mintues from first contraction would not have been long enough - and the thought of it being quicker next time puts me off having another.

    I think I did go into shock a bit after my first was born, and that was with a straightforward labour, and all in hospital so I didn't have to worry about getting there.

    In my opinion of course a short labour can be traumatic, and like someone else has said, if you think it was then it was - you were the one who went through it and no-one can totally understand someone else's labour. With a quick labour there's no build up, no time to get your head around it before baby arrives, and there are a lot of 'what ifs' going around your mind afterwards.
  • G/C

    Well I know which one I would prefer honey!!!

    Im sick of this competition in pregnancy/birth. Why do we do it to each other? Everyone is an individual and if you feel it was traumatic (which i agree with) then it was traumatic.
  • "Lengthy labour or short and very painful labour" is at the top of the list.

    I had a very long labour, but it's a brief period of about an hour that went completely tits up which has scarred me for life.

    No one else experienced exactly what you went through, so they should keep their ignorant judgements to themselves!

    B xx
  • Not at all. If you think about the way a womans body prepares her for labour, theres a reason why its not supposed to be 'quick' as it releses seretonin and oxytocin to calm you down and create a bond ect. Plus, your adrenaline builds up too. Like you said, it was so quick you went in to shock so I wouldn't particularly call it a lucky birth. My mum had a half an hour labour but she was ready and was in the zone of 'shes coming NOW' but her body was ready as such...if you werent ready then ofcourse it would be flippin traumatic!

    I personally beleive that no one, no matter how many children they have, has the right to tell you what is and is not painfull regarding childbirth. Every woman's periods are different too and we dont pss judgement when the woman next to us is crying with pain every month whilst we soar through ours and still make a spinning class (I don't BTW...I can't even do that on a normal day haha) so I don't see labour as any different. The same way I don't understand woman's constant reliance on natural birthing and doing it on your own. Why suffer something that is a once in a lifetime experience for the sake of being able to say you did it on your own??? Obviously there are limitations in that statement such as the effects on bubba which in that case, I understand but still, unneccessary pain IMO is pointless..

    Dont worry hun, the next time someone smirks at you and says thats nothing you tell them to push a watermelon out their ass in 2 hours and see what they say then :lol:
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