Constant crying, feeding and sleeping problems!

LoriMum2two · May 13, 2011 7:55AM

Madelyn was such a contented baby, never crying. She is 9 weeks old now, and the last couple of days have ben hell! I am breastfeeding her and she has been wanting loads, I let her have what she needed as I thought it was a growth spurt, but it is carrying on. Today Madelyn has cried non stop, the HV said yesterday to space out her feeds more, but I cant put her down and no matter what I do she cries. She wont play, wont sleep. When I offer the breast after an hour she only feeds for 10 mins. After 20 mins she is hungry again and wont stop crying. I am now in tears and feel like a failure as a Mother, I cant figure out what I am doing wrong. I thought maybe she needs more filling milk, but really dont want to put her on formula as I love being the one who provides her food and the bonding cuddles. These last 2 days though it has been more of an angry battle than bonding! When I asked my hubby he said to try her with it and I am so upset as I want him to support me, not agree I am no good for her anymore.

Sorry, I am feeling so depressed this afternoon and cant stop crying, its not like me, and its not like Madelyn.

Any advice?

PuddleDuck77 · May 12, 2011 3:26PM

Oh, I really feel for you. Don't get upset. Take a deep breath and try and relax. If you're feeling tense, she'll pick up on it and it'll make it worse. Can you get a spare 10 mins or so to have a shower or a bath?

My DD is 6 months now and I exclusively bf til a couple of weeks ago. For the first few months, all she did was feed, especially in the evenings and even more so with growth spurts. We had times like you're describing when she would want to feed on and off all day and wouldn't let me put her down. In the evenings, I'd finish feeding her, pass her to Hubby so I could have a power nap and she'd wake up and want feeding all over again!I was worried about milk supply and all sorts but she was putting weight on so I knew it couldn't be that. The hv said to try skin to skin if I was worried about supply. Not only can it help the milk supply but it's soothing for them.

Why did your hv say to space out the feeds? Doesn't sound very helpful. At this age they just need comfort and cuddles. I understand you don't want to give in and give her formula if your heart is set on bf but also how exhausting bf is. But this constant feeding won't go on forever! I'm not sure I've really helped but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Xx

PuddleDuck77 · May 12, 2011 3:31PM

Ps plonk yourself on the settee, surround yourself with choccy and the remote, get comfy and let her eat and sleep all she likes. Forget the housework and routines and go with it. I got through5 series of greys anatomy! Xx

LoriMum2two · May 12, 2011 5:27PM

HV said to space it out as I said she was feeding alot, and Madelyn put on 12oz in the 7 days this week! She said it was to make it easier on me, stopping her turning me into a human dummy. I dont actually mind her feeding alot, but when you get advised not to I find it stressful trying to change it. I want to get this right so want to listen to the experts, but also want my baby to be happy and get what she needs. I feel so torn and Madelyn has been overtired all day. I started getting her into a routine at night with bath etc, but that has gone out the window due to being exhausted and sleeping at the wrong times and fighting sleep etc. Madelyn was 6 weeks early so only 5lb 3oz. She has put on lots of weight and I feel we have done pretty well so far. You get lots of pressure about self settling and routine, if you dont do it you'll mess up your baby! I do think I would rather be baby led and watch the 2 dvd sets I have just waiting to be watched lol. But what is best for Madelyn? x

PuddleDuck77 · May 13, 2011 1:28AM

9 weeks is still pretty young for a routine for a bf baby. (although some might disagree). Also if she was 6 weeks early, do they talk about a corrected age, where if she went full term she'd only be 3 weeks?

You're obviously doing a fantastic job if she's put on so much weight, especially that much in one week. Sophie did that a couple of months ago too. She was exactly the same, feeding constantly, crying and not sleeping. My hv said it was a growth spurt and to go with it. Her normal routine fell back into place afterwards so she didn't continue to feed as much or put on that amount of weight.

I understand about not wanting her to use you as a dummy, but while she's so young, she might just need that bit of comfort. It's easy for the hv to say feed less, but she's not the one who is feeling so stressed with a crying baby at home. You need to do what is best for both of you. Xx

Sarah_Jane_Smith · May 13, 2011 7:55AM

She may just be having a growth spurt. My DD at around 10 weeks starting being a lot more demanding with her feeds for no apparent reason. She also started to wail and be apparently inconsolable when I took the breast away from her. I know they say you shouldn't give a dummy but her urge to suck is just so strong we had to give in otherwise she would have been attatched to me 24/7 during this period. It was just comfort she needed. As for the bonding, give it time and don't feel rushed and that you should have bonded fully with your baby so fast. It is a subliminal process as much as it is an active process and for that reason it takes time for you to adjust mentally to your new baby.

Constant crying, feeding and sleeping problems!

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