O/T advice on how to deal with MIL please

IssyBell22 · Jul 31, 2011 11:31AM

hey girls. Please could i ask for opinions from a non personal point of view x

My MIL is very nosey, and overbearing. Whilst pregnant, we told her private details of our will and then she felt the need to tell other people her daughters who i do not get on with.

the daughters then threw this information in my face recently during a fall out with them, they called me a bad mum (absotuely untrue and she is a v immature 24yr old) and he fiance also said some wicked things to me and on facebook for all the world to see.

I'm now expected to invite them to hubby and sons birthday (same day) at the end of the year... plus i have done nothing to provoke them they have always had a problem with me (i took their brother away lol)

so as a result we are not speaking to them all, but we are speaking with MIL and FIL, although this lack of respect, i.e. telling people our very private details has made me very cautious. she moans i do not let her have time with our son (he is 8 months) and she is rough with him and doesn't seem to have a clue with kids!

enough ranting, lol, please could you give me an opinion on this? thanks x x x

SplashPurple · Jul 28, 2011 3:47PM

Difficult. I completely understand why you are upset. family fallouts are horrible and incredibly difficult to manage. how does your husband feel about inviting them? if he feels the same as you do then I would for down with the patents in law and make it very clear to them why you are not inviting the sister and if appropriate their involvment in it. if your husband feels differently could you bring yourself to pit up with them for his sake?

iwantanotherpls · Jul 28, 2011 4:18PM

i agree. if your hubby thinks he would rather not have them there either then i wouldnt invite them and make it clear to inlaws why. (explain that because the info thye told of yours,which wasnt to be shared ect) but if your hubby would like them there then i think grin and bear it and have them there,its his siblings xx

Renee+2 · Jul 28, 2011 4:56PM

My mil hasn't a clue what to do with a baby and once expected nme to sit with a 6 month old on my knee for 2 hrs and when baby started getting restless she told her to wait 2 more minutes ffsm, all while sahe tried to gain some control over my husband business. When she was 4 weeks old she refused to let me feed her or even near her when se started screaming for food as she had 2 more shops she wanted to go to and was pushing the pram too fast for mew to keep up with my sticthes. She alwaysa wants her own way and I refuse to allow it so she hasn't spoken to me, or seen my dd, who is now 16 months, in 8 weeks! I'm bloody relieved. If they are selfish and nasty to you hun cut them out.

MrsMafiaPrincess · Jul 29, 2011 4:22AM

I think it's tough as even though she sounds awful she is still hubby's mum.

I think if it were me i'd sit down and discuss it with your husband. I'd say that you understand he wants a relationship with his parents but there have to be boundaries. Them being that you present a united front, that you don't tell them any personal information taht you wouldn't want otehr people to know and that you are in charge of your baby and not her! they've got a few months to get used to these boundaries so how you go!xx

piggypops · Jul 31, 2011 11:31AM

totally agree on having a united front, or it makes it so much harder, i now do not see my MIL withough hubby as i find it very uncomfortable and with 2 kids i dont need that, persoanlly i wouldnt invite them if things stay the same x

O/T advice on how to deal with MIL please

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