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Baby sharing your bed help and experiences needed.

My lo has never been a good sleeper apart from when he was with either myself or my husband. He suffers from reflux and when he was in the Moses basket or carry cot he would wake ever hour to 2.5 hours. After a run of particularly bad nights my husband told me to get him in bed with us so we could just get w few hours sleep. That night he only woke twice so we did the same the next night to grab back some rest. Now what turned into a temp measure has been happening since the end of July. This last week I have started him in his own cot but he has to be put in asleep otherwise there is no chance and he doesn't settle anyway so by 11 he's usually been up 4 times, so at that point I'm putting him into bed with us. My mum seems to think this is fine and the length of time in the cot will extend and gradually build up to a full night. However a couple of friend have told me to go down the cry it out but while he's still getting up in the night it's not practical as my husband has a job that involves a lot of travel and responsibility so needs his sleep. However my husband is off work in a couple if weeks and I was thinking of sleeping in the chair by the cot and nursing baby back to sleep then putting him back in the cot the full night.



The other thing is he will gladly go in his cot to watch his mobile through the day and has dropped off loads this way but only for cat naps.



I would really like to hear experiences from people who have had their baby in bed with then and who have then got them in the cot. How did you do it? And has it caused problems futher down the line. All opinions welcome (although if your going to be negative I feel bad enOugh already)

Replies

  • what we did with our no1 was co sleep for a few weeks when she was tiny, after a few weeks we put her back in her cot (never bothered with moses basket, not enough room)



    she liked being swaddled and being close to us so we rolled up towels and popped her between them so she 'thought' we were there,



    put something u wear (top or whatever) in the cot/basket with the baby, then it'll smell of you.



    it took a while and she slept through (most of the time) at 4 months (exclusive breast feeding) and we were happy with that lol
  • when lo was born I was against cosleeping but he also suffered from reflux and woke frequently so he co -slept with us (after persuasion from dh and after meeting people who co-slept) when he was about 3-6 months, and he began sleeping in his cot and sleeping through at about 7-8 months, and now sleeps through pretty much every night at 15 months, and goes to bed happily. Its lovely, i say is it bedtime and he comes up for a cuddle and kiss, says goodnight to the cat and settles well. It was the right decision for us and didn't form any 'bad habits' although I felt guilty at the time before become more confident in my ability as a mummy and in my decisions. Hope ti works well for you, whatever you choose to do (btw he also slept on his tummy because of reflux so we broke all the rules!) x
  • Thanks ladies for your replies. I was starting to think that everyone thought that i was an awful mum sharing my bed.

    I think im just going to keep putting him in the cot to start with and see how we go.

    He started off really unsettled last night and didn't go down till 12, but once he did he slept with us for a straight 5 hour!
  • Hi Justttc,



    Our baby is only 5 weeks old & has reflux which is giving us erratic broken sleep, 2 hourly feeds & sometimes additional feeds after he has vomitted most of his feed. We are sleeping him in moses basket but he usually falls asleep on me after bf as i try to keep him upright for awhile after winding to reduce reflux. Anyway I thought i would mention i recently read an nct book called helping your baby to sleep which i thought was quite useful in exploring all options from co-sleeping to controlled crying. You may find it of interest.



    Good luck!
  • we co-slept with our first, we think he had reflux as he projectile vomited most feeds and would not lie down but the dr wouldnt do anything at the time, he would only sleep on me or hubby and would sleep long periods like this, we did the same thing starting off in his cot and ending up with us and eventually he did start to stay in his cot, we used a wedge matteress but i think that was mainly due to outgrowing his ?reflux though. we also coslept for a short time with DD but she enjoys her space now, personally i think until a child understands leaving them to cry doesnt acheive a lot but each to thier own, i acctually enjoyed cosleeping!



    oh and dont feel bad there is nothing wrong with cosleeping and it actually makes a child more confident apparently image
  • I would beg to differ about there being nothing wrong with co-sleeping. In my job I have seen a number of very seriously injured babies unintentially hurt, or on 2 occassions worse, from co-sleeping. I would point out that these are rare and the number of babies that are totaaly fine far outnumber those who are not. However I don't agree that it is not without risk given my experiences x
  • we are in a minority as a country against co sleeping, it is encouraged in many countries thre is quite an interesting article by unicef into this



    obviously there is always a risk as with anything in life and this risk does increase in smokers drinker etc, although breastfeeding mums that dont smoke or drink have very minimal risk to baby according to research
  • We didn't co-sleep with our first as she settled beautifully in her cot from the start.

    This time round we have a little boy, who LOVES breastfeeding, who LOVES cuddles, who LOVES the comfort of being near me... he has been a bit of a nightmare in settling to sleep in moses basket and his cot. So we tried one night a few nights ago, co-sleeping, and it was the best decision EVER! He slept beautifully from his last feed till 4am, woke once, fed and slept again till morning. We've since co-slept every night (It has only been about 4 nights so early days I guess) but if that is what he needs to get a good nights sleep then that's what we'll do.



    Don't ever doubt the decisions you make, you are the mummy, you do what feels right for you and your baby. We are all told the risks when our babies are born and we make the decisions that are right for us. Like Piggypops says there are risks everywhere. Good luck in whatever you decide and I hope you get more sleep soon. xx
  • I have co-slept with all three of my children, everynight until they were around 3 years old. My 17 month old wouldn't know what to do with a cot image

    personally i don't care who thinks what but i do what works for us, they love to sleep with us and we love to sleep with them. It has never caused a problem (yes, i understand the risks but as a non-smoker,drinker or heavy sleeper we've been fine). They all went straight into their 'big' beds straight away when we were ready with no problems as they reach an age where 'big' beds are fun and they stay there because they want to not because i am forcing them to image

    I understand that doesn't work for everyone but just wanted to add to your post that it isn't a bad or always dangerous thing to do and it doesn't hurt anyone to make your lives easier and happier image

    Goodluck

    claire x
  • My first DD slept with us sometimes and wasn't a habit and we didn't mind at all. I actually thought it was quite nice. She never got into any bad habits. When the time came for her to go into the big bed she loved it and never looked to come into our bed although for a while we had to stay with her until she slept. I just went down the supernanny route then and sat at the end of the bed for a night or two then beside the door then outside the door and eventually down the stairs and used star charts. This worked no problem. My dd no2 is 3 months old and she sleeps also no bother in her moses basket but doesn't fall asleep on her own which at the minute we don't have a problem with. If she wakes during the night and is unsettled we just lift her in with us so we all have a sleep. She has started sleeping through so she doesn't be in the bed as often now. Personally I don't see it as a problem. As long as you feel safe then it should be ok.
  • Hi ladies

    Thanks for your replies. It's good to hear stories.

    We arent much further on with getting him to spend a full night on his own but I'm feeling much more relaxed about the whole thing.



    Having said that my husband is off work in a few weeks and I intend to have a good crack at getting him in the cot, even if it means getting it into a cot bed for me to sleep in with him for a little while. We will then put it back up to a cot.

    Let you know how it goes.
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