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Help!!! Stressed about routine...any advice?

I am a new mum and my baby is now 1 month old and from day one I have stressed about getting him into a routine. I know everyone says just go with it but I really can't help it and keep getting upset. I started to get some routine but my son now wakes up in the night 2 to 3 times and wont take a full bottle so therefore is going no longer then a few hours? I am so tired and just don't know what to try? He was born big and already weighs over 11lbs so has been a hungry baby from day 1 so I have tried changing him to hungry baby milk of a night, changed his teats to number 2s but nothings worked...any advice would be appreciated??


  • hi danilou

    im sorry hun but this sounds totally normal, he's only one month old, he can't go more than a few hours, he may not for months. his tummy has to grow yet. its not that you're doing anything wrong, new babies just need feeding every few hours. getting stressed and upset is damaging for both of you, he needs a calm mummy who can meet his needs.

    i sympathise with the tiredness - my lo is 4 months old and he fed lots for a long time, he's still waking once in the night now. i feel a million dollars compared to the early days!

    all i can say is rest when he does, just worry about him and lean on those around you. you're expected to be tired but it will not last forever. you really haven't much choice but to go with it, right now your LO needs the basics, food, warmth and love. as the weeks go on his stretches will get longer and he'll take more milk. as he's bottle fed i guess someone else could do a few night feeds for you? if this helps you feel better it will be better for your baby x
  • Its hard isnt it? Those first weeks are very hard,no sleep and you feel you get nothing back!

    It wont last forever but as alfie says it is very normal, its just what babies do. If you start feeding bigger feeds etc. to get them to go longer they will just be sick

    My baby is now 13 weeks and has this past week got into a routine and started sleeping for 6-8 hours at night .

    Get people to help with ironing, ask them to cook for you and sleep when baby does, it will help.

    Good luck x
  • My daughter woke 3 times a night for the first two months. I completely sympathise. She still wakes twice at 5 months and it is completely draining. I got to the point where I had to insist that hubby does one of the night feeds, just so that I can rest (even though I lay there listening anyway!)The best thing you can do is start with a bed time routine. At half 6, bath your baby (the Johnsons lavender bubble bath is great) have a cuddle and give him a bottle. Swaddle him, lay him down (awake if poss) in his crib and sit next to him and shush him to sleep. When he wakes to feed, keep the room dark, give him as much as he will take and then change his nappy, sometimes that wakes the baby up enough for them to take a couple more ounces. Try again with the bottle, reswaddle and put him down. Swaddling is brilliant because it makes the baby feel really secure and sometimes helps them to stay asleep for longer. In those early weeks I went to bed with the baby because I was so knackered but it does get easier. I also got hubby to learn the bed time routine so that he could do it on every other night. I tried in the begining to do everything, but its just too hard, make sure you ask daddy to do his bit xx
  • As others have said it does get easier...I got fed up of everyone asking about sleeping at night and beating myself up when his routine changed that I decided to look at it another way. ie my baby needs me at the moment to get up in the night. I then started to enjoy the time with him as our special time alone together and lo and behold he seemd to wake less!!!

    SB x
  • I agree with the others, 2 to 3 wake ups at that age is totally normal. My best advice is to go with the flow and don't get stressed out. With my first I was very much into getting into a routine and he wasn't a happy baby and didn't sleep through till gone 6 months. My second is now 5 months and I've followed her lead and she was sleeping through by 4 months and that's with her being breastfed and quite tiny. She's so much happier than my little boy was too. x
  • Thank you all. I think im just going to go with the flow and take my babies lead. I just started to feel like whatever I have done is not right and I never thought I would feel like that. Im going to do what my baby needs and get up as much as he does and hopefully he will figure it out by himself image
  • it's not easy danilou but it is normal. You're doing a fab job. i remember the first week or so i used to lie awake and analyse everything when i got up with LO. After that i soon learnt to be zonked as soon as my head hit the pillow after getting him down. I promise you won't recognise yourself in even another month, and in another few months you'll be laughing. hang in there and build your little boy up. xx
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