Feeling down and missing being pregnant
I had my little girl 8 weeks ago and I love her to bits but I really miss being pregnant, in so many ways. I miss feeling her kicking and moving inside me and having hiccups, I miss my bump and rubbing it, which I did all the time, I miss the excitement of it all - finding out I was pregnant, telling people, having the scans,midwife appointments, getting the baby room ready, I miss how caring everyone was towards me, especially my husband and I feel sad that I'll never have that 'first time pregnancy' feeling and experience ever again. Has anyone else here had this feeling?
I'm sitting here crying as I write this as I've been feeling really down the last few days. I have very low self confidence, always have done and find the idea of baby classes scary and very much out of my comfort zone, as I find socialising hard and always worry about how people see me and hate being judged I feel guilty for feeling like this as I have a gorgeous healthy little girl, a lovely husband and great family but I can't control how I feel. I get times when I feel down like this, every few months then it goes again. I saw a hypnotherapist for low self confidence but it didn't work and I can't afford to pay for counselling which I think is what I probably need. I always struggle with change and find it very hard. I also worry I'm not natural at being a Mum.
Can anyone else relate to me?
Replies
Hello my lovely,
I know how you feel. I haven't actually been in that situation as my pregnancy ended at 13 weeks, but I can relate to the feelings that you are experiencing. Do you think it could be post natal depression?
I would suggest that you do something new, something that will cheer you up (maybe a little shopping trip, gym, any activity). For example, I started going to the gym .... Also, this website helped me a lot. Just speaking to people who've been through the same thing helped me a lot. I feel like other people don't understad me and don't understand what pain I am going though. People told me to grow up and stop feeling sorry for myself, but it is not easy! You can probably relate to that
Do not feel guilty for feeling like this because it is not your fault! You cannot help it sometimes. Having a good cry always helpes but that is not a long term solution.
I'm always here if you need a chat chick and I hope that you'll start feeling better soon
xxx
Things always feel worse after having a baby because your serotonin (kind of a happy hormone) levels plummet. Any long terms problems like self confidence get worse but it is important not to shut yourself away or it will get worse.If you keep active things will get easier when the hormones settle.
If it does continue though ask your doctor about cognitive behavioural therapy. In the UK it is available on the NHS but you have to push for it as the waiting lists are long.
CBT is the most effective treatment for self confidence issues.Unlike hypnotherapy it is a evidence based therapy.
(My husband used to be a counsellor who specialised in this sort of thing, thats how I know this stuff)