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does anyone out there HATE the in-laws holding their newborn??

i had my baby 8 weeks ago and during the pregnancy my partners family were all pushy, buying this buying that, which was really nice of them. but i kept thinking are they doing this to throw it back in my face when my baby is born so they can see him more...

so when my baby was born they kept asking to take him out on their own! i said OMG noooooooo!!! really??? its not happening!!! so we all had a big falling out.... but we have made peace now. and everytime we go over there which is around twice a week... i get so anxious about nothing... i sit by my babys side constantly if hes asleep in the pram, the second he starts to stir i grab him out the pram before someone else comes along and trys to take him out. i run off with him and feed him, then sit with him on my knee praying nobody will ask for a hold. if they do... i know it would be so rude to say no, they arnt going to hurt him, they only want a little hold. so i hand him over, and i sit beside them the whole time thinking ok i want him back now... 

if we are at my mums house... it doesnt bother me my family holding him... im not sure what it is. if its the way my partners family went on in the beginning... if its because im not as close to them as my family. im not sure!!! does anyone else hate the in-laws holding their newborn? is anyone else possessive over their baby like this? is something wrong with me?


  • I really think you need to try and relax a bit. Yes they were wrong in asking to take an 8 week old baby out on their own, but you need to try and cut them some slack while you are there. 

    When you go over next, can you not try and take small steps to give them more time with the baby? I.e. try and walk out the room for 1 minute to go and talk to some one else, or pop to the loo and build that time up gradually? Just try and think how you're OH feels about this. It's better to try and build a good relationship with them while the babies young, you never know, you might want them to be baby sitting in a few years time! X 

  • I totally agree with Sessie. Although I completely understand what you mean about not feeling comfortable with your baby in your in-law's care, but I think the problem in this problem is your paranoia about it. Like she said, next time you visit take some baby steps and make sure that you feel comfortable and eventually you will learn to be totally fine with it and trust me, later on down the road you will be more than happy to drop your kids off there for a week or so LOL.




  • I know exactly how you feel, when I first had my daughter I also found it hard to trust others with her, especially when people have different ways of doing things!!! But don't worry, with time you will start to not feel so panicky about someone else holding on to the single most precious part of your life image . I hope you feel better knowing you're not the only one who feels this way n good luck with the inlaws x

  • thank you girls. last night when we were over there she offered to hold him while we had our tea. so i said yeah, she took him in the garden in the shade when we sat inside. i felt ok about it and my partner looked really happy. then when we went out she was saying does anyone want to hold MY baby?? to all these family members who came over from some other country who iv never met before!! thankfully they said no! except the grandma... whos nice and iv met a fair few times. so the grandma had a little cuddle untill he wouldnt stop crying so i said yeahhhh ill take him now thanx! so all in all last night went down well... from my point of view. im sure his mother will still have something to moan about! ha

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