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Don't want to upset anyone

I'm in need of advice. Since having my son I've made a great group of mum friends! However a few are concerned about the development of one child in particular, no one want to say anything in case they upset the mother of this child.

This child is 7 months, not lifting its head when doing tummy time, not rolling at all and only turning its head one way. There are several other things that are concerning such as weight being rather low.

My question is how would you go about giving advice on these things without upsetting or offending a friend! 


  • This isn't us making up concerns or being horrible, several health visitors have expressed concern also. This mother just refuses to take advice from them and is pretty easily offended. While she's a great friend we are all concerned and feel that we need to find a way to offer advice without upsetting her. 

  • Hey, I suppose it depends what you are all thinking, are you thinking neglect or a health condition?

    if you are thinking health condition and the health visitor has seen the baby then it is their job to make appropriate referrals. To be fair these may have been done but the babys Mum just doesn’t want to talk to you all about it especially if your babies are all developing really well. 

    If you  are thinking neglect then maybe suggests groups you can all go to together to help them out? 

  • Allybob88 I'm not sure what it is if I'm honest. We all go to groups together, she doesn't really interact with her child, she's to busy talking to other mums or on her phone.

    We have the same health visitor and she's pretty useless, she didn't pick up on a serious skin condition in my son despite me contacting her several time about it, she just sits and talks about herself for the hour long visits every 6 months. I've read into milestones, this child isn't meeting any of them. They don't react to noises or follow things with their eyes.

  • 6monthly health visitor visits!? Lucky you! Mine left at 8 weeks saying see you when she is one! 

    I think it’s a difficult one as really it is the job of the health visitor, you could ring social services as they would then likely ring the health visitor and ask her to visit to address the exact issues raised And then feedback so she would have to do a development assessment? You can remain anonymous.

  • I think there will be no embarrassment as long as you're really acquainted with your friends. So, time cures everything. Do not afraid to speak out anything significant because of offending others.

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