Conflicted about having another baby

hi all I’m new to this, I just have no one to talk to. Back ground, when I was 17 a my first baby who is now 8 I had serve postnatal depression with Him. I am in a new relationship of 3.5years which is wonderful. 

Im feeling like I want another baby, but then I think of the million reasons why I shouldn’t The main one is my lb is 8 and i would “start again“ and then another is just how can I be really really sure I want another like how do you know. I feel so conflicted at times then I’m like yes let’s do it. 

When I try and talk to friends they recoil in horror like why would I want to do it again and then family just shun me as if I’m being really stupid even thinking it because “I’m not cut out for it” ( because of postnatal) I just get laughed at which massively affects my feelings towards another. 

i have a nice lifestyle and I don’t go short of holidays and doing things and people make Out like I have to stop and won’t have fun anymore  there’s just no positivity from anyone towards me having another.

I do worry about postnatal coming back what if it’s worse what If I can’t cope is the age gap to much. but then others do it 

I dont know what replies I want I just needed to air how I feel.