controlled crying?

tonight i am trying the controlled crying route as some of you may know my lo wont sleep! my question is how long did it take your lo's to go to sleep from putting them down? my lo has been in bed just over an hour now and is still screaming the house down!!! do you think she will eventually settle or am i just wasting my time?
caz x x


  • I would love to help but I am only starting tonight too. I am going on holiday on Thursday so won't be able to update you- I sincerely hope it is well in place by the time I come back in two weeks.
  • OMG its so hard!! lol x im not good at these kinda things i must be too soft.
    Well after listening to my daughter scream for over a hour and half i caved in. she was sobbing her little heart out bless her.:roll:
    Hope you are having more luck than i am KThom
    Caz x x
  • DH has just lifted him to calm him down as he was going nuts!!! He did have a bit of wind tho so am going to let him calm down and start again.
  • i so want to try the controlled crying thing but i can't get the gutts to do it.
    i'm on my own now so i haven't got the strength to do it, its too hard. my lo screams so much if i put her down awake, i've only ever managed to leave her half hour before i give in.
    since her dad left i'm sure she knows that i'll bring her into my bed when she wakes through the night if i can't settle her. i've made a rod for my own back...but i really want to get out of it...i'm just not strong enough. arghhh
    hope it goes well for you both though and your lo's start to sleep for you.
    my lo is 13 months by the way.
  • hi leona my lo wont sleep during the day so i thought if i can get her into a routine at night she wont get as over tired, she gets so grumpy! not doing well so far though. lol... the neighbours will be thinking im torturing her or something, lol. its just so easier to pick them up and nurse them than have them work themselves into a state isnt it
    Caz x x
  • i hate to sound like a bully but the only way you'll crack it is to be persistant. i was very lucky as my LO stopped after about 15mins but i was prepared for hours and hours of it. My HV said that sometimes she's seen them scream so hard they vomit or look like they are hyperventilating, but believe it or not it's not doing them any harm, emotional or physical, the only thing it's doing is tiring them out. i imagine it's really awful to watch and listen to, but it would only last max - a week hopefully if you were very strict about it, and from there you should have a baby who sleeps through. they get so upset because they are sooo used to having somebody come in and pick them up, because thats what they've been taught happens. they need to be re-taught how to settle for themselves. if it's too painful to hear the screams then by all means dont go through with it but i really do think you'd have good results after a few nights if you were to absolutely go for it. my bro didnt sleep through until he was about 2/3years old because my mum and dad couldnt go through with the CC, they did with me though and i was a much better sleeper. evie is 6 and a half month and we've only just done it but i really wish id done it sooner! xx
  • cheers for that linzimc, i know what your saying it will be worth it in the end but its very hard to see your child get so worked up. she isnt just crying she is full blown screaming and like you said she is almost vomiting through it. I think it makes it harder cos i breastfeed , as i think its cos she is still hungry even when i have fed her (starts sucking her hand/arm then just crys and crys).
    Caz x x
  • i find that if rhianna doesn't sleep i the day...she's worse at night.
    because she's older i think its alot harder to do the cc. i really wish i done it before she could stand herself up in the cot coz now she just stands up and headbutts the side of the cot and screams hysterically!!!
    the hv said she won't be hurting herself and it won't do her any harm to leave her...but its easier said than done.
    they offered t come and help me do it for her daytime sleep but i think its the night time i need it and i doubt they will want to stay the night and deal with that through the night for god knows how long.
    i really worry about waht the neighbours will think as well, it sounds like i'm torturing her!!! it breaks my heart listening to it so always give in...which probably makes it worse.
    i need supernanny jo frost here for the week i think!!! lol
    she only wakes so much in the night coz she stirs and realises i'm not cuddling her anymore...its so frustrating.
  • Hiya I'm trying cc tonight too and as you can see its almost 2am! I'm trying to waste some time on the web and ignore the cries although goodness knows what the neighbours are thinking!!

    This bloomin storm isn't helping - we've got thunder. We've got lightening. We've got heavy rain! OH is on a night shift and lo is in same room so I wanted to leave him in there to cry on his own.
    At one point he was quiet for ages and I thought he was asleep so I popped my head in the door. He wasn't asleep at all! He was looking drowsy then as soon as he saw me he started screaming again! That was about half an hour ago. I keep going in every 20 mins and he calms down again. He's not actually screaming now just sort of moaning.
    GO TO SLEEP!!! I'm really tired now and I dont want to go to bed until he's asleep.
    well after an hour of this I'm not giving up now!!
  • Hey anatoriac, well done at sticking with it! what time did you eventually get to go to bed this morning?
    Caz x x
  • Hiya well I got to bed at 3am. He'd stopped crying at about half 2 but wanted to wait a while to make sure he was definitely asleep!

    Soooo nice to get to bed at 3 then he woke up again at 4!!! Argh.....!
    I just ignored him and he fell asleep within a few minutes. Fed him at 5:30 then he slept til 7. Hopefully he'll sleep a bit sooner tonight. 2 hours !! CC is not for the faint-hearted! Its hard work!
    How did you do last night??

    [Modified by: anatoriac on May 28, 2008 03:10 PM]
  • Hi anatoriac,
    not too good, after an hour 1/2 -2 hours i caved in, ended up picking her up and feeding her, dont know if she was just upset or really hungry but she fed for a while. (she had very little food yesterday and not much milk so i presume she was actually hungry). its so hard to judge when breastfeeding cos i dont know how much she is taking. she then fell asleep on her dad. :roll: Guna try again tonight and hoping it goes alot better as she has eaten more today. Fingers crossed anyways! lol
    i bet you are shattered?! you would think that they would drop off after an hour or so of crying, shame we cant take the batteries out! :lol:
    Caz x x
  • Just to update you on my progress......i put my lo down at 7.45pm, though it was guna be another night of screams, but after not even half hour of crying she eventually nodded off......YEAH!!!!! seems like it may be working. (think its helped cos she has eaten more today though.)
    Im so excited!!! :lol: image
  • Sounds likely she was hungry. Probably all that crying!
    Well good luck for tonight. Hope all goes well!
    TBH I'm not really that tired. Give it a few nights... Its not putting him to bed thats the problem for me, he usually falls asleep quickly at bedtime.
    It's when he wakes in the night for the usual feed at about 1-2. Thats when he won't go back to sleep again, hopefully soon he'll get the message.

    Don't beat yourself up about picking her up I almost did so many times last night! Its really hard you have to fight this natural instinct. Just try again tonight
    Know what you mean about taking batteries out! Maybe get a muffler hee hee :lol:
  • I have decided that as my son who was a brilliant sleeper until we went on holiday is now waking 4 times a night that I need to get him back into sleeping so decided to try cc tonight. He went down no problem then half an hour later was screaming but persisited and just kept nipping in and eventually went to sleep after an hour. Its harder during the night as he shares a room with his sister who is 2 but I go back to work next week so have to persist or it will be hell doing a 12 hour shift after a sleepless night !
  • hey tigger66, I know what you mean my lo is still in our room at the moment as i have found it easier this way for when she wakes to feed at night (breastfeed). now she is taking more solids im hoping she is getting to the stage where she will sleep through so we are gunna move her into her own room this week.
    Decided i was guna take a nice long bath with my new spare time lol image only as soon as i started running it at 9.40pm, madam decided to wake up again, so ive stuck with it and 1/2 hour later she was asleep again, other than me having to lay her back the right way as she was at the top of cot crawling and shuffling about. (think she was trying to escape the cot lol :lolimage
    it does seem to be getting easier though, even though its only been a couple of hours so far, hope shes not too bad the rest of the night!!!
    Caz x x
  • Hi Caz how did it go last night?
    I hate to brag, but Max slept 7pm-6:30am last night! Sorry but I'm really chuffed! I actually woke up before him this morning! After the previous night he was probably nackered but I hope this is for good now!

    I'm quite lucky Max isn't mobile yet so can't move around his cot must make it even more difficult :\(
  • sorry to sound dumb but what is controlled crying is it like pick up put down where you pick them up and then put them straight back down again or do you just leave them to cry. I dont think icould do it 2 mins and i cant stand it.
  • hey anatoriac, after falling asleep for the second time she slept through til 6 so im still happy with that. got her out of cot then fed her put her in and she eventually fell asleep again til just after 8. think i heard her mumbling at about 3ish though as normally she wakes about 2 or more times to feed. i just left her and she must of just gone straight back to sleep. yeah there is hope!! image
    hi westbrom1, yeah control crying is when you basically leave them to cry keep checking on them regular to start with but just settle them without making eye contact or talking too much and dont pick them up. then increase the time gradually when checking on them. its hard to start with but it does seem to be working quite well image
    Caz x x
  • ah well good luckwith it my baby cries and grizzles all night but she is fast asleep so i have very little sleep and i know how easy it is to give in anything to shut your eyes for few mins so welldone you seem to be doing a great job.
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