those who co sleep advice

im considering this is my lo is 8 months and screaming when going down in cot, i actually worried that maybe it isnt natural for him.
my main concern is what time do you put to bed? if in you bed and you are still up a there bedtime?
do you sleep sound due to lack of room?
when and hwo do you go about moving into own room/bed?


  • my little one has just moved to his room hes 10months and is still a night mare to put doen of a night midnight is wen he wud usually fall asleep but now iv managed toget it to 9.30 lol im still hoping to get in down to half 7 tho lol but my LO is having trouble being weaned so i think thats y he doesnt go down but even before we started the weaning he was still at nightmare i cant just put him down in his cot awake and hope he wil fall asleep as this doesnt work for us so iv opted for the bathtime routine instead we bath him everynight now at around 6 after he has had his tea then give him a last bottle at about 7 then its a waiting game then at the moment the only way to get him off is to put him in his pram and rock him (i no please dont shout im goin to regret doing this as he will prob start relying on this way to get himto sleep but its only until iv cracked the whole 3 meals a day routine and fingers crossed he will feel more fuller of a nigt time wen it time to go to bed ) but this has helped us alot i mean half 9 mite still be quite late but its a big difference compared to midnight lol he has been sleeping alot better in his own room as OH always used to wakehim up wen he was in our room lol xx
  • wow! your son sounds like mine, he even looks like him! ha ha
    we rocked him to sleep when had colic and has never really settled alone, even with controlled crying!
  • I see you've tried controlled crying, this could of added to him being fearful of his cot.
    Have you heard of the baby wisperer? I had to do this with both my girls, as they woke every hour in the night for months. Currently still doing it with dd2. We're just over 2 weeks in. She was dummy dependant, so I took that off her when we started. The first night, up every hour as normal. Second night she slept through 8 till 7. Since then she's either slept through or needed me once or twice a night to settle her again. It's been incredibly hard work as she's been high maintenance from the start, colic, silent refulx, lactose and gluten intolerancs. She's had over 20 osteopath appointments. Basically cried a hell if a lot. Only reason I'm telling you this is because I thought her being able to soothe herself would be impossible , but it's not. She's 8 months old. X
  • i cant really do the whole control crying thing as me and my oh live with my parents along with my brother and i couldnt have my little one screaming his head off wen my mum comes in from a 12 hour shift at 8 o clock lol i think she deserves a little peace lol but im coping so far with the night time routine lol i just tried all sorts of ways until i found one which suited my lo the best and that was like i said give him his last bottle after his bath put him in his pram all wrapped up warm and stuck him at the front door so he cud watch all the cars go past and id give it tenmins and he wud of drifted off to sleep it works a treat for my lo but all babies r different i wont be keeping this routine obviously lol but for now it works for me and it works for little one lol xx
  • I leave my lo to cry sometimes but I hate it. But just lately I've been settling him before he sleeps then putting him in cot when he's really drowsy to fall asleep and this is a real improvement to how I used to get him off. I used to have to feed/rock/cuddle him then carefully lay him down asleep.

    Now I try and make sure I do the same wind down routine for his naps then the same for his bedtime. At bedtime I'll bath, massage, put in pj's and sleeping bags then feed. Then when he gets ratty I'll take him to his room, turn on the white noise, feed him the rest of his bottle if there is any then put him in his cot with his mobile on. He usually whines/cries for about 5mins when the mobile has stopped then he's asleep.

    His naps are a little harder. About 20mins before his naptime, sometimes before if he's really tired, I'll walk around the house/garden with him then take him upstairs away from all his toys and play with him on our bed for a bit. Then when he starts to get ratty I'll put the white noise on in his room, swaddle him (by which point he is normally screaming) then sit with him in his room singing a lullaby. When he's calm and drowsy I put him in his cot still singing, turn the mobile on, stroke his head a bit then leave the room and he has been falling straight to sleep! I think he has to have his few mins of crying (or screaming!) down which I stay with him through then put him down when he's calm.

    Sorry its off the topic of co-sleeping. But I know that my lo used to be the same but it is getting better with patience and perserverence! x
  • Hi hun, I co sleep with my ds, he's 10 months old now and we've been co sleeping since he was 3 weeks old.

    We have a night time routine of tea, play, bath, breast feed then he'll fall asleep. He'll sleep in my arms until it's time for me to go to bed because as soon as I go to lay him down he wakes up and screams. I find I sleep very well with him in the bed with us and there are no space problems because we have a king size bed!

    I'll let him decide when he's ready to sleep in his own room. At the minute he has separation issues but once he's got over these I think he'll be happy to sleep by himself! I'm a great believer in following your baby's lead!
  • my son is 8 months and had jaundice at birth and tounge tie, then coloic and reflux and we believe lactose intolerant also, awaiting doc appt to confirm. tried baby whisperer anfd the pick up put down method doesnt work he screams more when put down again and cries harder!

    i too live with in laws! tempoary and they hate hearing him cry but let us do what we want with him and i ignore there advice as its usually not my way of doing things although they mean well.
    i do have bedtime routine with carson but he gets so anxious when you dress him for bed, he knows!
    i dont no how i feel about co sleeping, i thinbk im doing it as im so stuck! seeing paeds doc tomorrow to see that he is ok and she also has sleep behaviour degree so hope that helps!
  • Riley hates getting dressed for bed as well.He loves the bath but as soon as we put something over his head and arms he starts crying. When it gets to that part we dress him as quick as we can then get him fed and he calms down.
    Keep on trying and one day you'll find something that works. Hope it goes alright tomorrow. x
  • Gabe's always been good at self-settling so he goes to bed at anytime between 6.30pm and 8pm, but occasionally he will not sleep or wake in the night so that's when I co sleep, cant be doing with controlled crying. I do do it occasionally but I find if he cries longer than 15 mins then there is no chance he will go back to sleep and will just get really worked up so it's not for us! There's nothing wrong in co-sleeping, I love it so much. Having said that I don't have a hubby to get in the way, I have no idea how I'd share with both as lo takes up so much space for a small-ish toddler.
  • Ok, may get a backlash from this and I am unashamedly gatecrashing (soooo broody!) but we still co sleep with both of our children aged 4 and a half and almost 3, they both used to go down with a cuddle in our bed and we'd join them at our bedtime, now they start off in their own beds and join us if they wake, we tried all the techniques when they were younger, but it was a disaster, particularly with dd as she suffered severe reflux which the drs refused to properly diagnose until she was 3 (even though we were telling them what was wrong!) and so anything that involved leaving her to cry just made her vomit and we'd all end up stressed and upset, and to be honest, the number of times they both still wake in the night, I really don't care where they sleep as long as we all get some sleep, particularly now they're at preschool and school, i think it's important we all get enough. Also in my opinion, and it is only my opinion, no other animal ever separates themselves from their young at such a young age to sleep, etc, it's not natural, tey nurse and sleep with their young for alot longer than we humans tend to. I also do not have issues with anyone that does not think along the same lines, I have a friend who put their baby in theor own room at 3 weeks old, it worked for them, and they're all happy, but i know it could never have worked for us. Unfortuantely the downside is the paranoia, if the kids don't end up in our bed I end up getting no sleep until i've been in to check that they are both still breathing (neurotic I know!) We have had to get a super kingsize bed to accomodate us all though, but last night we found we wouldn't have a problem with a third child co sleeping when we go for the next as we had my 2 year old niece stop over whilst SIL was in labour, and we were all more than comfortable!
  • mmmmm, i do get that in the west we do put them in cots more ect, but i have to admit that i dont no if i would sleep well with LO with us
  • It is scary the first couple of times. But once you see how easy it can be it's lovely. Dd2 slept with us for months, some nights I didnt get much sleep bcoz I'd be watching how perfect she looked. Now she's in a cot, sharing a room with her big sis I miss her terribly. But I love sneaking into their room and seeing them both sleeping. Never thought that would happen lol. We bought a snuggle nest for her to sleep in, in our bed, best thing I ever bought. Not supposed to be used after 4 months or when rolling, but we carried on and it was fine. I always went to bed with her though because we never had bed guards. My oh would always move down the bed for fear of squashing her.
    The main thing is you do what's right for you and your family. For me ifound it so hard to find happy times some days bcoz dd2 was so difficult. But co sleeping was one of them. Plus she kept my oh away lol x x
  • Double post sorry x

    [Modified by: hayls on September 22, 2009 01:06 PM]

  • We co sleep with Wills and have done since he was born. He's 18 weeks old.

    He has a bath, massage, feed and then bed.

    Sometimes he will go down in his crib for a few hours (very rarely) and then come in with us after his first feed (he's still not sleeping through) or often we'll all just go to bed together and watch tv upstairs. The only problem with this is that we don't get any 'us' time and I also have to struggle getting all the housework done in the day when we're home alone.

    We all sleep well (as well as you can when he still feeds so often!) and the only precaution we take is that we turn our pillows around so they're not near his head and to also make sure he is on top of the duvet with his blanket so that he doesn't get too hot.

    I do wonder how we will ever get him into his cot but also really agree with mustBmad that there is no harm in co sleeping, its natures way.

    The only problem I can forsee with starting it slightly later might be that he becomes really dependant on you and never goes into his cot. I can appreciate how hard the crying is though as controlled crying rarely works for us either.

    How did it go with the Paedatrician? x
  • it went well, i think my asking of lots of questions in the end caused her to get frustrated with me! ha ha, i dont care im a mum thats my job! she wasnt angry she just said' what do i want from her' as i had a problem with most things she suggested. however during the consultation she praised me for my hard work and said i had a good routine going and he was a clever 8 month old and very content,so in her opinion it was temper going to bed and a lack of ability to self settle. she said cc didnt work with him as he was clever enough to keep going as he knew we were coming back each time, hence the time getting longer and longer for him to fall asleep.
    so she said i should just leave him to cry, at first i was like' no way' and she explained to me that it wasnt cruel and to bare in mind that it was temper, as he was feed, not too hot/cold ect and to just leave him as this willl help him long term. i spent a hr feeling unsure and after more talk i decided we will do it. as hubbie going to do at night and obviously me in day.
    last night he cried for 40 mins, fell asleep at 2050 and he woke at 0645! i couldn't believe it! he was happy and smiley when he woke and took 15 mins for day nap today! i still feel awful doing it, but she assures me-money back! that it wont take longer than a week, usually 3 days.
    next step if he does wake in night will be to stop night feeds, but i wanted to do one thing at time to be easy on us and him.
    i never thought i would be able to do this as it feels wrong, but in my mind it doesnt as long term he will be settled and happy and so will we, and its not doing him any harm.
  • Glad the sleep ped was able to help, sounds like a real improvement already! Keep us updated on how the CC is going. x
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