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Think I might have taken on too much.
Hi Ladies, hope you dont mind me bending your ears a bit this evening.
I have been really struggling today, but not just today, for a while now. A few weeks maybe. Just before the snow dd was ill with a cold and I had to take time off work to look after her. Then I was ill and lost my voice and so had a couple of early finishes and then this week I left early yesterday and had today off as Nathan is ill. I only work 3 days per week.
Anyway, I've also been wandering about the house and cant quite belive the state its gotten into. I cant even begin to think how long it'll take me to try and get it straight.
My phone has been going all day with work calls that I'm desperately trying to avoid but I have sales targets and am frightened that if I dont hit my targets I'll lose my job. I'm also the only women on our team and only part timer so feel I have some possible sterotypes to overcome.
For the first time since going back I'm really struggling to cope. I've been in tears most of today but know oh worries about me already which makes me feel like a complete basket case and I dont want to add to that. I so nervous and on edge about everything, cant sleep, Asthma and exzema are worse and feel generally anxious. For the first time since having Lo I'm worrying about depression which I had after dd but dont know where to release the pressure from. I have to work for both the money and my sanity but cant do much about home life.
Dont really know why I've written this, just need to rant I think. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Tommorrows another day so hopefully Lo will be better and house wont feel as grubby.
.
xx
I have been really struggling today, but not just today, for a while now. A few weeks maybe. Just before the snow dd was ill with a cold and I had to take time off work to look after her. Then I was ill and lost my voice and so had a couple of early finishes and then this week I left early yesterday and had today off as Nathan is ill. I only work 3 days per week.
Anyway, I've also been wandering about the house and cant quite belive the state its gotten into. I cant even begin to think how long it'll take me to try and get it straight.
My phone has been going all day with work calls that I'm desperately trying to avoid but I have sales targets and am frightened that if I dont hit my targets I'll lose my job. I'm also the only women on our team and only part timer so feel I have some possible sterotypes to overcome.
For the first time since going back I'm really struggling to cope. I've been in tears most of today but know oh worries about me already which makes me feel like a complete basket case and I dont want to add to that. I so nervous and on edge about everything, cant sleep, Asthma and exzema are worse and feel generally anxious. For the first time since having Lo I'm worrying about depression which I had after dd but dont know where to release the pressure from. I have to work for both the money and my sanity but cant do much about home life.
Dont really know why I've written this, just need to rant I think. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Tommorrows another day so hopefully Lo will be better and house wont feel as grubby.
.xx
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Replies
As you say, there is nothing you could change at home, so the only changes for you could be work related. It's inevitable you'll need to take time off every now and then for yourself or your children's needs, so maybe a job where you can go home at the end of the day and leave it all behind rather than worry about your targets would be better for you.
With regards to not talking to your hubby about it, I would be devastated if my hubby was going through such worry on his own because he didn't want to tell me. That's part of what marriage is to me, being able to solve things together. Even if he cannot change anything, at least he would be aware of how you are feeling to be able to support you in the way you need emotionally. If you physical problems such as asthma are getting worse and you are anxious, that is a warning sign hun that you do need to take notice of. There are other jobs you could do with your skills which could still chanllenge you in the way you want, but whilst you're actually at work not once you've gone home.
Hope your feeling ok today, but I don't think it will go away until you make some changes for yourself. I'd do your house for you if I lived near you, I love cleaning! Lol. Take care. xxx