Anyone else have a LO but still live at home??

I know there are a few girls on here - how do you find it?
We live with the inlaws and it's really getting me down at the mo. They are really nice people and very helpful with Gabe but they do my head in sometimes. It doesn't help that my mil works from home, and fil is out of work, so they are there day in day out. Me & OH are still a young couple (20 & 22) and we need time on our own! Last night the pil's went out, great I thought, but then my OH little bro (16) decided to hang round with us all night. :roll:
I feel like they are constantly analysing the way I am with Gabe. I know they're not, but that's what it feels like. It doesn't help that OH and mil have fallen out about how much money we are giving her for rent (he thinks it's too much).
I just want to scream sometimes. What makes me even madder is that we can afford to rent, but OH won't! He says it's throwing money away, and he wants to wait until I'm 21 (in June next year) because my nan left me a lot of money which I will get then, so we can put a good deposit down on a house. I can't live here till June!!!!! Gabe will be 13 months by then and he'll still be in our room. He could do with being in his own room as it is (he's 7 months).
Sorry for the rant xx


  • i feel for you babe i really do me and martin have lived togeather since i was 2 months away from my 18th birthday and martin was 2 days away from his 20th birthday. we had justin 4 months after i turned 19 i dont know how i would have coped living with other ppl.
    When we moved from england back to scotland we had a friend stay with us for a few weeks and it drove me fucking mad, the same when martins nephew stayed for a few weeks when he moved to glasgow to work me and martin almost split up as things built up over the weeks and as soon as he moved out the shouting started as any problems we had over the weeks couldnt be delt with as there was always someone else around and his nephew always butted in and gave his views on everything.

    Your right about the wee man needing to be in his own room, he should have been in there at around 6 months, and the longer he is in your room the harder it will be to move him into his own room.
  • I was in the same situation as you, when Evie was a baby we were living with my mum. It was hard with 3 of us in my room that I grew up in. It was nice in some ways tho as we always had someone there to babysit....something we realised we took for granted now we live on our own. Have a talk with your's both of you that make decisions together not just him. If you can afford it now, why not find somewhere you'll both me happy. then by the time it's your 21st you'll all be settled somewhere by then and the money from your nan would be a bonus! The way I think of things is that life is too short to be unhappy at any time and if you have got the chance and can afford it...go for it! xxx
  • I live with my Mum & younger brother who is nearlu 18 & it drives me insane!! They are noisy unintentionally but then say I am over-anxious to the noise but I can't help but be when Ellie can be such a nightmare to get to sleep then wake at the slightest noise!
    The other big thing is she is in my bedroom & as soon as I make a noise she's awake & looking at me whereas if she were in her own room she'd be fine. I sympathise with you totally.... xx
  • Me and hubby (23 & 24) and baby are moving in with my parents when we sell the house (hopefully complete in a couple of weeks).
    We live a 20min drive away from them at the mo, and I'd like to be nearer, plus our neighbours are a nightmare with loud music etc.

    My dad is going to work in Dubai in January, so it will be my mum, younger brother who is 16 and younger sister who is 10 at home. They have offered us their bedroom with ensuite bathroom, and its the size of our house downstairs so lots of space.

    I'm looking forward to having a babysitter on demand, and not having to juggle so much housework. But I have accepted that it's going to be difficult at times, especially with my siblings, their so noisy! I'm also dreading sharing the kitchen, as I'm really fussy when it comes to cleanliness, and my mum isn't as bothered if the fridge or cooker is pristine.

    But we'll be able to save ??1000 a month, so thats a big incentive for us to at least stick it out for 6 months.

    I would say if you can afford to rent until you can buy a house, then tell your OH how you feel.

  • Hi hun

    I know how u feel, im 20 and live at home with my parents at the min, cos i just ant afford to move out with my boyfriend and LO. Im at uni and my bf works so we cant rely on one wage. Im grateful for the help but feel like i am gettin anylised all the time!! good topic xxx
  • It's good to know others are in similar situations - but I do feel for all of you!
    Yesterday was the worst. The footie was on TV (our team doesnt usually get on telly lol), and OH great uncle was coming round. For some reason every time he comes round, Mil goes mad - she cleans the place from top to bottom (its always clean as it is!), does a buffet, and moves ALL Gabe's stuff into our room(which is titchy). If I even leave so much as a rattle out, she gets twitchy. I have no idea why cos this guy is over 70 and according to my oh his house is filthy! So anyway, I can't do anything with Gabe as she wont have his toys around or play mat on the floor. So I either have to sit there with him on my lap for 1 1/2 hours and have him bored or play with him in my room....and she has blocked the access to our bed with Gabe's cradle swing and stuff so I have nowhere to play with him. Seriously it did my head in.
    Naz, I totally agree about the renting - however I have spoke to my OH about this countless times and he wont change his mind! xxx
  • Oh that's awful - why can't Gabe have his toys? Toys are toys I don't see them as dirt or mess. Well I guess there's no understanding some people! Why doesn't your oh want his own space with his family, what is putting him off? x x

    [Modified by: ~yummy_mummy~ on December 07, 2008 09:10 PM]

  • it's the renting - his family see it as throwing money away and he does too. He has 2 older sisters (no kids) and both of them bought houses with their hubby/partner so I think he thinks he should do the same. He wants to live at home so he can save money - BUT he has just blown ??750 on a new engine for his car (not essential just wanted a 2l engine rather than a 1.6!!)
    Believe me I have spoke to him about this a million times and I never get through. I can't even moan about living here cos he just says 'yeah its crap but we haven't got a choice' which is BS! He isn't on a low income at all, so we DO have a choice...but he would rather live at home with no privacy and his parents in 24/7 (seriously, they are) then ditch his pride and rent for a few months!!!!!!!
    Sorry this has turned into a mini rant! I'm in a mood with him as it is for other reasons.
  • We lived with my parents initially then with oh's dad n i hated it. We got our own place about 3 months ago and it is so much easyer and we are so much happier. it was so difficult cause not only did we have all the stress that comes with a new baby but I also felt like i was being watched constantly. I hope u manage to get ur own place soon x
  • Hey tiger lily I really feel for you. Im 22 and oh a bit older. We moved out and rented when we got married and now lo has arrived I love my independence. When my mum comes and stays I can only have a her here for 3 days before she really becomes unbearable.

    1) I c his view, in that if you wait until you are 21 house prices are still dropping.
    2) theres also the option for shared ownership if he doesnt want to rent. My friend is buying a house for 25% and the money rent/morgage works out gd.
    3)I would write him a letter stating how you feel. Sometimes it works loads better...Just like when someone recently posted and email to their oh and got a gd reaction. I wud be fuming to if he spent nearly ??800 on a new engine.
    4) have you been putting money into a seperate account to put towards a house?

    re mil...kinda taking piss really, I wonder how she is really thinking.
    U dont have to answer this...but do you get an couple time in bed together?! It almost sounds as though she has laid down rules in her mind but not told them to you!

    Chin up hun...I hope you enjoy your 1st Christmas with your lol! xxx

    [Modified by: Joey08 on December 08, 2008 05:42 PM]

  • Oh god im glad your posted this thread. Me,oh and harrison are living with my dad at the moment and its beginning to become a real nightmare! My dad is super house proud and has really nice furniture and stuff and an expensive carpet and hes really fussy about all of it! Harri cant touch anything without being told off (like now for instance) Harri is into everything and im constantly trying to keep him away from stuff! I just dont know what he expects of a baby, hes curious of things and wants to play with them, and although i know he loves harri he sometimes looks at him with such contempt, the soon we can get a mortgage the better!! xxx
  • hi ya. I tottally understand what you mean. We lived with my husbands mum and dad (who was very ill at the time) for 2years. Although it had it's benefits (babysitter, no finacial worry) it did my head in!

    No matter how many people said 'oh just think about the money you can save' it still got to me so much that i ended up on anti-depressents!

    But now we have our own place i can kind of see where everyone was comming from, we managed to save up quite a bit of money and if it wasnt for mil then we wouldn't of been able to.

    If you can i would really try and stick it out for another 6months, but I would set up a direct debit for as much as you can afford each month so that you can see the money mounting up. This will help you get through the next 6months when you know the money is going to go towards your future.

    I hope it all works out for you xvx
  • Joey - good question lol - it's doubly awkward as my oh works nights!

    Basically when Gabe goes down for a nap we just go & do it...Mil probably knows - in fact undoubtedly does - but we're past caring. I dont think anyone minds anyway. I know some people may find that gross especially as our bedroom is a garage conversion so is downstairs BUT we kinda past caring...and sex is one of the best bits of our relationship.

    We are already saving money & have been for a while...try to save about ??500 a month but it doesnt often happen as OH can be a bit of a big spender!!! xx
  • Me, my oh and lo r livin with my parents at the mo as renting iver here is ridiculously expensive and we can't afford it, so we're savin 4 a deposit on a house. Don't get me wrong i'm so grateful to my parents 4 lettin us live here and also they're not chargin us rent so we're able to save more fot a house. Its jst the lack of alone time that does my head in, we housesat 4 my ss a couple of months ago and it was bliss to b able to hav our own sapce and do our own thing made it even harder to come back here.
    On the up side it was really helpful to have them helpin in the early days as oh works long hours and i was in quite a lot of pain for quite a while.
    Nice to know i'm not the only one in this situation!
    Does ur oh not think givin money to his mum is throwin money away same as renting?
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