Theoretical question of course.....

Just wondered whether you would ever consider being a surrogate for close family or friend?

Reason I ask is because a very good friend of mine is finally thinking of starting a family in say next couple of years and im well excited! weve been friends for 17 years and since I had my first daughter 11 years ago I have sometimes felt she would never take that step! (shes been with her OH for about 13 yrs) But then she said after all this what if I couldnt have children? to which I replied id have one for you! (in a semi serious but joking kinda way!)
But i did say I couldnt use my own eggs i would only be a host surrogate say using her eggs fertilised beforehand.
When i told my Oh of this conversation he was like do i have a say!! 9 months of your hormones and no baby at the end!! lol
Now obviously im hoping it would never come to that anyway but did get me you think you could do it??

Heidi xx


  • aww think thats a really selfless thing to do and even more so if you used your own eggs!
    I just think it would be such a lovely gift to give your friend if she cant have children seeing them with a LO in their arms xx bet shes glad shes got you as her friend xx
  • I have a sister who's 19, and due to having cerebral palsy nobody really knows whether she'll be able to carry a baby of her own. If she cant, i'll be her surrogate without a doubt. Dont think i could do it for anyone else though. I think its a very selfless and loving thing to do, and have sooo much respect for women who do it. What an amazing gift to give to somebody!
  • I'm pretty sure I would do it for my sister if she needed/wanted me to. Using either mine or her eggs. But until she decides to start a family we won't know if she needs me to or not. I would also consider egg donation too. Once my family is complete it seems sad to flush an egg down the loo every month when someone els that longs for a family could benefit from it. S x
  • i would consider it but not using my own eggs.
  • No, I don't think I could give the baby up, I bonded so much with my lo while I was pg- feeling her move and so on. I suppose I might consider it if it was for my sister or a very close friend as then I would still get to see the baby grow up.
  • I admire people who can do this - such a selfless thing to do - but having been pregnant I'm fairly sure I couldn't hand over a baby, even if it wasn't my egg. Not to a stranger and probably not to a sibling or close family member, either.

  • I think its a very selfless thing to do and do admire those that do or can honestly say they would do i couldnt!i just dont think i could through the whole process then hand the baby over at the end!
  • I remember when I was younger and thinking about it said " no way could i do that!" but im in such a different place now cos Ive had my 3 lovely cherubs and do feel my family is complete which and having such enjoyment out of them would be immensely sad if someone (like my best friend) couldnt experience that. I couldnt do it for a stranger and certainly not for money purposes. I cant believe some woman has done it 11 times Katie dont know if she deserves a medal or whether shes just plain bonkers!! xx
  • i would definately do it but it would seriously depend on who it was for. they'd have to be really special to me....or paying me a lot!!!
  • I don't know if i'd be able to do it or not tbh. a close friend asked me a few months back that if she couldnn't have kids (she's had 3 miscarridges in the past) that she'd ask me or another mate to be a surrogate.
    Think I'd be able to do it but only as a host kinda thing. I wouldn't be able to cope knowing that my biological child was living with someone else, no matter who it was, close friend or complete stranger
  • I think I cld... when ive finished my little family.. as long as dh supported the idea and understood. Id like to help if a friend needed me to help create a little miracle xxxx
  • i think i could do it for my sis if it didnt happen for her, i would have to feel that i have done having my own 1st though. xx
  • For my sister's I would carry their child if they couldn't. I would only consider using my eggs for my sisters if they had no ovaries/eggs at all - but still that wouldn't be a definite yes.
    I think that although it would be lovely for someone to experience pregnancy that using donated eggs just to achieve this is selfish when there are plenty of children already waiting for loving homes - adoption week last week really highlighted it for me...but then I guess if there isn't a problem with OH's sperm then some would like donated eggs so atleast the child is biologically linked to the's so hard, there's lots of if's & buts!

  • Frag jones did you see any of the children on this morning last week for adoption week?
    just felt so sad for them and if had a mansion and was rich would love to adopt them all! really do hopw they find some loving homes for the children, it brings it home to you when you see their plights on the telly xxx
  • I would consider being a host suggret but I couldn't do it to anyone I no as I would be to worried I would become attached to the child if I was to see him/her growing up. Oh wouldn't want me too.

    Kerry, Freya and Bump
    X X X
  • hi, i am having a baby via surrogacy, currently just over 12 weeks, the scan on friday!! i am so grateful to my surrogate and would encourage anyone to do it if they thought they could. If you have any doubt i would suggest no. and speaking to a councillor is recommened.
    please ask any questions about surrogacy if you like. it is so rewarding and takes a very special person to do it! xx
  • Firsttimer, wow you must be so excited! are you going to the scan too? if you dont mind me asking did you know your surrogate beforehand or is she someone youve met as a result of embarking on your surrogacy journey? It does take an amazing person to do that and like ive said my conversation was purely a hypothetical one and not necessarily a definitive offer but i guess it works out for some and not for others.
    really hope all the best for you and wont be long before youre holding a gorgeous little bundle in your arms!
    Heidi xx
  • hi freddiemum1,

    we are going to the scan, we are involved with as much as we can be. it is quite a journey though, 5-7 hours depending on the traffic. the surrogate was a stranger to us, which i think is good in a way for us. everybody is different. if you are close to the person it can become highly charged with emotions. i would suggest you read the book surrogacy was the way by zara griswold if you ever thought you were going to go down this route. there is 20 short stories of all different circumstances, i found it quite helpful. your right it does take an amazing and unique person. and some surrogacies work and some fall apart.
    thanks for all your well wishes. i am soo nervous for friday. fingers and toes all crossed!! i'm finding it hard to sleep and have a retched cold!
    your little bubba in the photo looks cute!!
    ask away if you ever want to know or discuss anything. xx
  • i would be a surrogate but i couldnt be an egg me selfish but i really couldnt...i dont know why. i think its an amazing thing to do. i used to want to be one but recently ive changed my mind. i just couldnt :\?
  • hope all goes well on friday hun image
    and congratulations. xx
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