pros and cons for small age gap between babies?

hi ladies!

we have a 9 months old and i am just wondering what you all think is a good age gap. has anyone got a small age gap between their babies and how is it? i have been pretty broody since DS was about 6 months old. how much harder is it with 2 under 2 year olds? also im currently unemployed as my previous employer wouldnt let me go back part time after maternitiy leave so i had to resign, i am claiming contribution based job seekers allowace but what would happen if i did fall preg (we are not trying!) im just curious? would i be able to claim anything else? we also get child tax credits.

ashy xx

Posts

  • I fell pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 9 months. I knew i wanted a small gap and i wanted a summer baby (or try and have a summer baby) so it was either then or the following year, which i felt was too big a gap. We had had mc before ds1 so we thought we would start trying and i fell pg within about 2 mins!!! There is 16 months between them and i wont kid you, its really hard having a toddler and a baby. The first couple of months was really tough then it got a bit easier. Now they are 3 and 4 and most of the time are great company for each other, the rest of the time they fight like cat and dog.

    I now have nearly 3 years between ds2 and ds3 and i do feel that is just a bit of a big gap although the way their birthdays are they will all have 2 school years between them. I had another mc so the new baby was 6 months later than planned so i think that would have been perfect.

    I love having a small gap but the down side that i feel now is that i can spend a fair amount of time with the baby but i feel i missed out a bit with ds2. If i had my time over and could plan exactly i would have 2 years exactly between them, i think for me that would be perfect!!

    As far as benefits go you would still get JSA until you went on to mat leave then you would get maternity allowance which is the same at stat mat without the 6 weeks at 90% of your salary (if that makes sense). Im not a benefits expert, just going from my own experience

    Gemm x
  • My son is now 14 months and like you i was broody when he was about 9 months old but we had to wait as were getting married in Nov. Iam so glad ive waited as Jack has now starting walking and climbing and I cant imagine being preggers or having a little baby as well! He is so much hard work!

    We have decided to try after the wedding as i dont want a massive age gap so there will be a min of 2years and 4 months between them both. By which time Jack will be a little more independant and doing some more things for himself. I also feel at the moment that i can spend quality time with Jack and then he can go off to nursery and i can spend the same quality time with a new baby.

    But people do manage and it is all down to personal preferance really.

    xxx
  • my DS is just over 6 months and we are trying again, we have always wanted a small gap as we are both from familes with big gaps and we are not close to our siblings, i also want to be a SAHM when we have no2 so the closer they are the quicker i can return to work when they are at school x
  • Hi there, G/C from toddler and pregnancy forum.

    My DD is 2years 9months and I'm due a son within the next 3weeks. It took about 14/15months for me to fall pregnant so obviously it could have been a much smaller age gap - but now i am SO relieved it took as long as it did.

    I feel the age gap will be perfect for us, and very manageable as DD is now very independent, fully toilet trained, and walks well when out so we won't need a double buggy. She will be old enough to entertain herself and play by herself, and also I know she will be very curious about baby and willing to help out by fetching wipes etc.

    I really can't imagine having a baby and a 1-2year old, I imagine it'd be much more hard work and much more tiring! But different things work for different families image

    xx
  • Hi

    In my experience a big gap has worked perfectly

    My daughters are 4 1/2yrs and 11 months.
    We started ttc no.2 when dd1 was 21 months but it took us a year to conceive so she was 3 1/2 when dd2 was born.
    I am now so happy with the age gap because dd1 was so independant and started nursery so I had time with the baby and she also loves helping.
    DD1 is starting full time school in sep so as dd2 reached toddler hood she will have all my attention.
    I also couldnt imagine a smaller gap, although I am getting broody again lol xxx

    [Modified by: fiona86 on July 19, 2010 03:19 PM]



    [Modified by: fiona86 on July 19, 2010 03:20 PM]

  • I'd say go for it now, before you have time to think about it!

    My ds is 2 months 2 years and we were hoping for a 3 year gap so ttc soon (although, we havent been careful for a long time now, strange as ds was an accident).

    However, now I've had time to think about it, I'm pretty sure I've changed my mind.

    Ds is going through the terrible 2s and has gone from an amazing sleeper to a terrible one which has affected me a lot. Ds adores babies but the truth is I feel like I'm too selfish for another lo right now - I feel like I'm getting my life back to a degree and I know with 2 kids I'd have no free time, no sleep, a messy house and be an emotional wreck. My friends with small gaps cope amazingly and I know for a fact I wouldn't. *screams all the way to the contraception clinic * lol

    I do think if I'd have fallen pregnant I'd be very happy, and yes I would have to cope, but because I've had 2 years to think about it, its become scarier & scarier!!! I've just gone 22, so I've got time to decide, anyway.

    xx
  • My son is 8 months and Im due in Jan so they will be 14 months apart. This was planned for the following reasons which suited us:

    * I had to resign from work as we moved abroad and I thought it would be more hassle to try find work then take off again 6 months or so later. Though the money injection would have been helpful..
    * we had some trouble conceiving no. 1 and also suffered a mmc so I wanted to take advantage of my fertile period after my 1st pregnancy.
    * Im 35 and didnt want to leave it much longer (6 months max).
    * although it is tough on 1 salary it would happen again eventually when no. 2 came along so we figured just get it all done in one hit then get back on track. You spend what you earn afterall, just need to adapt. (Its been a big adaptation!!)
    * although it will be hard work for the first few years it means we will be out of nappies sooner rather than getting out of them and having to go back! plus down the track (a few years) we figure we will reap the benefits then. (hubby is 14 months older than his brother)
    * my son is really full on and we figure having a newborn when he is 1 will be much easier than when he hits the terrible 2s! we also think he will really benefit from a sibling asap as he needs constant distraction. (our friend who's son is a year older than ours is scared at the thought as her son is full on as well, and she wishes they'd gone sooner for no. 2 before she could change her mind).

    The cons for me are:

    * I really miss my career and knowing it will be another 18months before I can return. I miss the adult stimulation and using my brain more!
    * having to do without a lot of things because there isnt any money on only 1 salary

  • we have a 17 month age gap and i found it brilliant now the girls are 1 and 2 and half they play together really well and when they were younger i didnt really find it hard as youngest slept alot but i love the way Lexie looks out for her little sister if she gets a drink she says and Leah its so cute she want them to have the same all the time i'd say go for it image
  • thanks ladies for your replies! i do like the idea of not waiting until lo is 2 ish, and having all the tamtrums etc! i had to hand in my notice at work because they wouldnt let me go back part time, and i didnt think that because im not working i would be entitled to maternity allowance? will have to speak to oh, not sure how keen he is to ttc any time soon. does anyone know how long the fertile period after birth lasts? my son is 9 months...


    ashy xxx
  • I have a 9 month old and we are ttc#2 now althought i am waiting a letter of referal from my gynea as i have PCOS but stil bding lots in the mean time!! lol
    I figured get all the nappies and sleepless nights over in one hit!!
    I had an easy preg and labour with ds so i'm kind of in a false sense of security hoping this happens again!!
    Sx
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