not baby related. feeling bad:-(

Hiya girlies

As some of you who i know on facebook might know, i'm getting married next year.

What it is is i've always wanted something a little different to a church so i was looking at halls and manor houses and have decided on Tankersley manor for the wedding and reception which is costing a few grand just for the reception. We still have to pay another few hundred for the room we get married in and for the registrar to come. Why i feel so bad though is because its my parents that are paying. I know unless you pay yourself this is usually the case for weddings but i just feel evil picking such a big place when we won't be paying. They've said they don't mind and just want me to have the day of my dreams but i would hate myself if i found out that they were struggling or going without to pay for this for me.

Another thing what got to me is when we went to see them over christmas and they were talking about the new settee they'd been to pick out of the insurance for the one they have (the bull mastiff tried getting on and put a nice hole in with his claws. lol) and my mum said that they saw one which was lovely but it wasn't the same price of the amount they'd given her on insurance for the last one so meant adding money which she said they couldn't do because they needed to save it for the deposit on the wedding which will be ??1000. At that point i just turned to her and said i don't want that place anymore and i want her to go and get that settee she wanted but she said she'd already ordered the settee and that she'd never put that before my wedding day.

I've tried telling her that i've changed my mind and picked somewhere else but she's always been able to read me like a book and just looked at me and said "you are getting married there, even if i have to drag you there" so i said we're helping to pay for it and she said she'd be offended if we didn't let her pay.

Without sounding too stuck up, we have always had money. Not millionaires but we're comfortable so i know it can be done easily but i still feel bad when its so much money just to make me happy for a day.

If your in the area at the time of the wedding your more than welcome to pop in for a drink.

Sorry to ramble on. I'm just usually very independent and like to do stuff my self so feel horrid when anyone else does. lol

Lisa xxx (ex bringiton)


  • your mum sounds really fab hun. Its obviously what she wants to do if shes so adament to do it. It probably makes her so happy to think shes playing a part in helping create that special day for you! I can understand your worries though and would probably feel the same in your shoes but think how your mum would feel if you refused it? If she would be upset then there really is no need to feel guilty for letting her do it as its making her happy too.

    Congratulations and all the best for the big day babe.

    Elaine and boys xx
  • Don't feel bad hun, your parents have probably been looking forward to being able to help you with the wedding of your dreams for years. My wedding cost a fortune and my parents and oh's parents paid for all of it. We kept suggesting cheaper options and we kept getting overuled as they wanted it to be perfect for us.
    Hope you have a fantastic day, and congratulations!
    Kerry xx
  • i can understand why you feel bad but they obv want you to be happy and thats awesome!! i'm getting married next year too and my dad is paying for most of it altho it's not costing much cuz we're doing it in Gibraltar...i'm not that bothered tho cuz my dad is minted...does that sound bad? lol! x
  • thank you girlies, your all stars.

    lmao at your dad being minted. I don't think thats bad at all. My partners dad is boardering millionaire but he's not had anything to do with him since being young and he was gonna try and spend some time with him before the wedding so he'd offer to pay for something. What? i don't know. lol. Everything is being paid for by someone already.

    And you thought you sounded bad. lol

    I wouldn't feel bad at all towards his dad though because he's never paid anything for my partner even the child maintenence when he was younger. If anything, he owes money to his son.

    Sorry to ramble again. lol

    Lisa xxx
  • your mum sounds fab!! i think we may have this to come as both our families are well off (even tho we're not!) and i can see my dad offering to pay for stuff...

    if i were you, let her pay for the wedding, but get her a really nice present as a thankyou, like a day at a nice health spa or something like that?? be sneaky about it tho, i know mums like to spoil their kids and unselfishly dont like recieving gifts in return, but thats what id do!
  • Thats a great idea EmilyB. We were planning on paying for a room for her and my stepdad to stop the night at the manor and you saying about spa's has just reminded me that the manor does have its own spa that they added earlier last year so i could get them the room with a nice drink to go back to and a day in the spa the following day.

    Thank you for that. Can't believe i forgot it had a spa when its included in my wedding package. lol

    Lisa xxx
  • Awww thats nice of her babe.
    We never told anyone we were getting married we just went of and done it then told everyone about it after.
    Martins mum and two of his brothers were down on holiday at the time and got a shock when we all got dressed up and went out, and we got the registry office lol but it was the way we wanted it x
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