Lonely

Hi Mums & Babies,

title says it all really, My husband works 12hours or more a day and can ofte go away with work for weeks at a time anyway when he comes in he goes straight in the bath and then plays on the computer. I know i'm really lucky to be able to stay at home with Evie but i feel we have no time together. at the weekend i said you can play on the computer till 6pm on sat and then not at all on sunday so we can have family and our time, well he didnt listen. Evie has a good night routine now so we have time to be together on a night but he plays on his computer and i end up going to bed feeling rejected. I'm also worried than Evie isnt spending much time with her dad as i end up doing everything for her and i feel really sad for her. I've tried not making a big deal about the computer, i've tired being angry and also joking about it bt nothig works.

Alex & Evie xxx

Posts

  • then you need to tell him straight - maybe show him this post. Everything uv just said to us say to him. Could you write it in a letter maybe? I do hope you get it sorted babe xx good luck. xx
  • hey,

    I'm not sure what to say but didn't want to read and run.

    I'm guessing that he goes on the computer to 'wind down'. What is he doing on the computer> Playing games? Is he on the internet? I'd probably be tempted to make it not work somehow......

    What sort of things do you do for him? cooking washing/ironing etc? Could you not do those so he takes notice of alllthe things you do and then perhap you can get his attention and focus on talking about the computer?

    I think i'd also be tempted to hand Evie to him so you can get things done like have a bath etc and not give him a choice to spend time with her....

    How old is she? Could it be that he doesn't know how to spend time with her as he's had no experience of babies?

    Sorry, I think i've rambled and prob not helped, I hope it gets sorted soon.

    Lisa and Louise
  • I'm not going to be much help but I know exactly how you feel. My hubby does not work away but he does do 6x 12 hr shifts then has 3 days off. His 'work' days he doesn't get up until half hour before due in so doesn't see Harry before work, and he is asleep by the time he gets home. Then on his days off (or 'rest days' - a phrase which makes my blood boil!) he says he needs to relax, hence all day playing games on the computer. Now I'm not completely heartless and I understand he works hard but I am with Harry all day every day, do all the nights, and look after everything in the house. Oops sorry for hijacking your post with my rant ... my original point was that I understand how you feel. I didn't expect to feel like I was bringing up my son by myself, and I agree it makes me sad to think that not only have we let things drift apart so that I feel lonely and needing affection, but Harry missing out on time with his dad, and oh is missing out on the wonderful things that Harry does every day.

    No answers I'm afraid, I would love some myself, I really hope things improve for you as I know that where you are is a lonely place to be.

    Hugs

    Clare & Harry x
  • clare feel free to rant, its so annoying i uderstand that he needs time to wind down but he does nothing round the house and if i do ask him to do something i'm made to feel bad about it. sometimes i also feel like he does things or says things just to wind me up or to get a reaction out of me. i think i will write him a letter thanks girls xxxx
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