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Things I'd like to say but won't....

Posted this in my birth board but seems a few people enjoyed having a vent too so reposting here for anyone else... image

To my DH:
Telling me I can do the last bottle because i'm 'so good at it' is not a clever way of getting out of things. It pisses me off and I know you just want to play on the Playstation.
Getting up at 6am with our daughter 3 times in 9 weeks does not qualify you for a medal or even a cup of tea. I get up 4 times a night, every night.
And while i'm on the subject... it is not 'easier' for me because I have Chronic fatigue Syndrome and therefore used to being tired. It actually makes it ten times worse!!!

To my mother (who i love so very dearly):
Isobel is MY daughter, MY baby, MY little girl. She is your grand-daughter. Please stop referring to her as your baby.
Replying 'when did you last get her weighed' whenever i mention anything about BFing is not helpful and makes me stressed. She is gaining well and thriving.
Please stop letting your dog lick my daughter's feet. I don't like it.

To my MIL:
Not bothering to contact us throughout the 9 months pregnancy is not ok. Deleting your son off Facebook is not ok. Turning up at the hospital 2 hours after I had an EMCS is NOT OK. Not bothering to make another visit for 2 months is not ok.
Your grand-daughter's name is Isobel. Repeat it 10 times to yourself and perhaps that will stop you forgetting it.
Yes you have a lovely dog. You also have a beautiful, clever, amazing first grandchild so perhaps we can focus a little of the conversation on her next time you deign to visit. Just a small fraction of your time and then we can go back to discussing the total fabulousness which is your dog.
....and breathe.

Feel free to add your own!!image x


  • lol, good post!

    To my hubby:

    Running upstairs every time dd spits out her dummy is not good exercise for me when i still have bad hips!
    I don't care if you have been at work all day, can you help with dinner? and no, i haven't 'just' been sitting watching tv all day!
    Pulling the covers over your head and pretending to snore is not a clever way of getting out of settling dd during the night - i will just bounce harder on the bed when i have finished settling her!

    to my mum:
    Please stop trying to make my daughter kiss you - she doesn't want to! She reserves her best kisses for her mummy image
    It is not a popularity competition, dd loves you as her gran, but she will always love her mummy more image

    To my mil:
    Keep your opinions to yourself! I don't care that my sil takes her kids to the local swimming pool because it is warmer. My dd loves her swimming lessons in the pool we go to, i am not going to move her just because you say so!
    I also don't care if you weaned your son at 16 weeks, dd is not ready yet! and no, a little bit of chocolate is not an acceptable first taste!

    To my brother's girlfriend:

    I appreciate that dd will be the closest thing you have to a niece but you do not have to talk to her in a silly voice and her name is Emily - not Pwincess!

    Phew, that felt good image I may be back later! :P

  • Great thread!!!

    To my hubby-yes I do know how to change my dd's nappy, I do 10 times a day without you trying to help!!

    To my mother-please dont hang my daughter upside down, i'm afraid you are going to drop her

    to my mil-(this may be long) remember you actually have to granddaughters maybe you should visit my daughter too. No she is screaming because she doesnt like you
    No you do not know my daughter better than me, If I want to buy her something I will and nothing you can say will make me change my mind!
    Do not wash my daughter's dummy in beer again because if you do I will jump on you!!

    To my fil-no it is not ok for you to feed her chocolate, cream, or anything else that I have already said no to. No you cannot babysitt because I do not trust you or mil with my daughter!!
  • PP I'm so glad you posted here, i stole it for BIM but I can only write nice things, I'm scared people will read it and know what I really think
  • These are really funny! lol
    I would loove to add to it but im a very out spoken person (probably a bit too much??!) and I just say exactly what I want when the sitation arises!
  • To my MIL



    And stop clearing out your loft and dumping all the s**t in our garage. If anyone wanted it, they wouldn't have left it in your loft for twenty years. Get a skip and throw it away!

    Oooooh, that's better.

    B x
  • Oh I have a few more!!!

    To mil & sil-I don't care that you feed your dd choclate buttons, battered sausages or curry that does not mean that I will feed my dd the same things
    I dont care that you hate how I have decorated my house, its my f***ing house and I dont criticise your crappy taste however much I want to but I dont want my house looking like some stuffy 80 year old woman lives there becuase I have taste!!!

    to sil-just because your dd is older than mine it does not make you supermum and it doesnt mean that you know everything about parenting!!

    That's much better!!! :lol: There could be a lot more :lol:
  • To my SIL:

    I dont care if you feed your baby wotsits quavers, STOP trying to get my DD to eat them when she clearly doesnt want them and listen when I say STOP.

    To my mum whom I love enormously Lol:
    When I say do things a certain way I mean that, I dont mean do what you did 20 yrs ago!

    To my dad:
    Stop asking when she have cakes. biscuits and crap alike! not going to happen.

    To my estranged ex bf
    I detest you, a while ago I thought I loved you now all I see is a pityful little boy who needs to grow up, Stop texting me and ringing me thinking I will just bow down to you. Im over YOU!

    Wooohoooo that felt good. Good thread!!
  • OOh dear, this may start the morning in a grumpy way!!

    To my oh

    I know you work really long hours but you do not need more sleep than me, even tho your mother has always drummed it into you that you are a sleepy person and need lots of sleep.
    Bing in the house or garden does not equal helping round the house or helping with bath time.
    Letting the kids stay up late coz you cant be arsed putting them to bed is NOT giving them a treat, its just makes it harder to get them into bed.
    I would actually like a say as to things in my house ie getting new furniture for the playroom to store the toys in. The room might look nice with nothing in it but that will not keep the kids occupied.
    I better stop or could go on all day

    To my mum
    I love you very much and really appreciate all the help you give/have given me with the kids, the house work, money, and general running around for me. Im really sorry you have a few problems at the moment and i wish there for something i could do to make it all go away

    To my MIL
    F**k off you silly moo!! YES i am still breast feeding, NO i dont give a monkeys if your milk dried up at 3 weeks, Yes BF IS worth bothering with. I will decide how long i am going to bf for, yes i can express and if i can get baby to happily take a bottle i could leave him with someone but there is no way in this earth it would be you.
    You treat your son like sh*t and only inviting your daughter and her family for dinner, xmas dinner, on holiday, for new years dinner, is not acceptable. Of course the baby has changed, you only see him for 2 mins 2 or 3 times a month. You are welcome to come for an arranged visit, popping in unannounced and keeping your coat on and saying you are not staying does not count as a visit.
    My kids would love their granny to take them to the zoo, the park, the soft play, or generally anywhere that you took your other gran kids on a regular basis. The swing park in your street does not equal all the outings the other kids had, and they are now 17 and 14 so do not need babysat.

    Oh i could go on but better move away from the in law rant!

    Gemm x

  • What a fab thread!! It has given me a few giggles this morning!

    I am going to have to get my thinking cap on as I know I have plenty to add but at the moment my brain is having a sunday morning lie in x
  • To my DH

    The sun comes up about 4am at the moment - you've probably never noticed.

    B x
  • This thread is fabulous!!!

    To my OH:

    He cries when you hold him and he's tired because he's not used to you anymore...pull your finger out and cuddle him more when he's happy!
    I know that you are trying to help but seriously, how does it take 2 hours to cook a pasta bake??
    I love you to bits, but if you sit playing on your laptop while I'm dealing with him screaming again I will smash the f***ing thing over your head!

    To my MIL

    He has reflux, do not try and hold him lying down so you can see him better, he's screaming because he's in pain not because he's overtired! Sit him on your knee if you want to see him, you'll soon see smiles then!
    Stop whinging that I'm now BF so you can't feed him anymore! Get over it! I did not go through 5 weeks of intensive relactation so that other people could give him a bottle!
    Stop telling me what a martyr you were to BF my DH when you bled he sucked so hard. Do you want me to show you the pictures of my nipples from day 5????
    He is NOT your baby! He is mine. Not yours. Mine. Got it?
    Please stop calling him Lucas Joe, he is Lucas Joseph. Lucas is fine.
    It is up to us if we want to give him nicknames, and Muffin Man is not an upsetting one for anyone but you for some unknown reason!!!
    He is too young for church every Sunday so back off!
    I will wean him when I am ready. Yes, I know you weaned DH at 6 weeks and look how he turned out - severe IBS!

    To my Mum

    I love you more than you will ever know, you are my rock.

    To my Dad

    11 weeks is a little young for the zoo, but God I love you for wanting to take him!

    Hmm...guess I don't like MIL much huh??????
  • To my husband: I love it when you have a helpful day and share everything with me but I wish they were more often. Sending me to do the shopping isn't 'time off' just because you're babysitting. The basket of washing on the bed is your crap, put it away, I've picked it up off the floor, washed it, ironed it and put it under your nose, you do the last bit. 'Letting' me go out is nice, but don't spend the whole time trying to keep the baby quiet so you can play Playstation! Plus, just incase you didn't notice, the washing up doesn't do itself.

    To Dad, your are a fantastic Gramp and AJ loves you but please don't try and carry him around so much, you can't do it, he weighs a lot. I can't do it either, it isn't a sign you're getting old!

    To Mum, God I wish you were still here, I love you and miss you xxx

    To MIL, SIL and OH's Nan, stop smoking then hugging my boy. He isn't your baby boy, he's mine. When I tell you to put him down 'cos he's getting grumpy and wants to have a kick its because I know him best, I'm not trying to deny you time with him. MIL - Don't try and be my friend, don't ask about my sex life its just wrong!!!

    And breathe... theres loads more but I'd be here all day! Plus a few friends calling themselves Aunty, you're not that close that you deserve that title, he has 2 Auntys thanks xxx
  • Love This!!!!!

    To my OH,
    I spent a lot of time with dd so if I say she's not herself, she isn't just over tired or hungry, she's maybe a wee bit sick. If I stand over yo watching you it's cause your doing something wrong, don't start saying I never let you do anything, I bite my toungue a lot as I know your that bloody sensitive U may as well have women hormones!!

    To my mother.
    Please stop saying things to my daughter that are really meant for me, like what has your mummy got that on you for it's not very nice is it? Aww tell mummy you don't like that. Don't say maybe one day you'll leave my house not screaming, it's cause she doesn't like you! Maybe one day you will come to my house as I really hate taking everything & the kitchen sink with me. Please stop telling me that I was weaned at 8 weeks & should be starting to wean dd as she's seems hungry, u see her for 2 hours a week how would you know & I won't be weaning her until 6 months dispite ur protests that i can't 'starve my child until then'. It's about time you actually spoke to my husband, ok I know you don't like him, but I don't like you but I still make the effort. If you ever say agin she's been my daughter longer than she's been your wife, I'm gonna slap u! Just cause you didn't get a phone call 30 secs after dd was born does not give you the right to give abuse at my husband.

    To my 'sister'
    Your neice is 15 weeks old & you still haven't been to see her, sent a text, give me a call or even sent a card, get the f**k over it, yes I speak to dad you don't so f**king what?? I have a daughter it's about time you at least said hello to me if not just to make an effort cause I'm sick of trying to talk to you to just get blanked. You will never know your neice & that's sad.

    To my mil & fil,
    I love you so much, I don't tell you that enough.

    To my best friend,
    I know your training to be a mw, but pls stop putting on ur fb page that formula is evil & the things they put in it, it's very insensitive & esp as it made me feel so guilty having to give bf up.

    That made me feel loads better!!

    Jayne xx
  • G/c from DID image

    Some of these have made me laugh, just know I will be saying similar to my MIL in time!

    Some have brought tears to my eyes, you know who you are image
  • To my much adored husband: When I ask you to give him breakfast, it would be lovely if you also cleared up afterward, rather than leaving it for me so that the Weetabix sets hard as rock on the table. Similarly, if I am in a rush to get him to nursery while you are still eating breakfast, it would be a huge help if you could wipe down the table for me without having to be asked every time.

    When I ask you to do something like wash the dishes, I usually mean now, not in a couple of hours time.

    I know you are a light sleeper, but he wakes me up too in the night. You don't have some divine right to be grumpy at me about it every morning, I am tired and run down too, you know.

    To my mother-in-law: I know you don't like the fact that he is nursery one day a week, but passive-aggressive comments about whether I am worried that he will take his first steps at nursery aren't going to make us (yes, your son helped make this decision) change our minds. Oh, and he took his first steps in front of the two of us, so yah boo sucks! image

    To my much adored sister: We are thrilled that you have finally found the time to come and stay with us but please, you have to let us know that you are coming, not leave it to our mother to pass the vague outline of this idea on. I know there is an eight hour time difference, but would it really be that difficult to drop us an e-mail and let us know what your plans are? We have busy lives too, you know, and it might not actually be convenient to fall in with you. In fact, it isn't so you are only going to end up seeing your nephew for a couple of days. If you had got in touch earlier, I know we could have organised a better scenario.

    To my much adored brother: No, I am not happy that you are going to Afghanistan as an embed with the American military. The thought scares the living daylights out of me. My son needs his only uncle; please come back safely.

  • To my OH,
    I spent a lot of time with dd so if I say she's not herself, she isn't just over tired or hungry, she's maybe a wee bit sick. If I stand over you watching you it's cause your doing something wrong, don't start saying I never let you do anything, I bite my toungue a lot as I know your that bloody sensitive U may as well have women hormones!!

    HAHA I couldnt have put it better myself.
  • Oh so true x
  • Natalie, I applaud you!!! image xxx
  • not a lot to add but:

    to DH:
    stop complaining about how bad your lower back is. i just gave birth to your daughter last week - i think i'm in a tad more pain than you. don't ask me to give you a will get a slap in the face

    to mother:
    nothing, she lives on the other side of the world.

    to mil:
    stop telling me to 'feed her' when she's crying. she's probably crying because she doesnt like being fussed over constantly by you. btw, i just fed her!
    don't assume it's okay to say you're going to babysit my daughter when you actually mean watch her from the corner of your eye whilst you work in a shop.
    don't make me wake her up whenever you come to visit.
  • Very kwl thread.

    To my o/h, I have done this before and managed to get 1st ds to the grand old age of 14, so I must have done something right.
    Popping out for an hr means 60 minutes, not 3 hrs later I roll in with a silly grin on my face and wonder why I get the silent treatement.
    I love you very much, but the washing machine, dishwasher and tumble dryer do not empty themselves, nor do the cleaning fairies do it; much to popular belief.

    To my fil,
    Yes I am still breast feeding, it's just breast milk expressed into a bottle, why you felt the need to comment on this with a smug grin on ur face I will never know!!!
    Yes I have my figure bk, but again why you choose to comment on this, again I will never know, thanks for making me feel uncomfortable.

    To my mum, whom I love but don't completely understand. Making your heavily pregnant daughter walk home when days away from giving birth and just out of hospital while you take your other daughter home, not acceptable.

    To my 14 yr old son,
    I am not wonder woman, please,please please can you pick up after yourself?
    And if your unifroms not clean, did you remember to put in in the wash basket? no? well I still have baby brain and cannot remember everything!!!

    I am sure there is so much more when I can think of it.

    To my o/h, so you go out inthe morning, all morning. Come home briefly and tell me your going out again!!!!

    [Modified by: lola04 on July 11, 2010 05:46 PM]

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