Anyone the main wage earner? (Also in Born in Jan)

Well, I think OH and I are going to fall out. He wants me to go back to work full time, after my maternity leave, because I earn more money than him. I want to drop at least one shift a week. OH thinks if anyone should drop any shifts it should be him. I want to spend time with James, and this apparently is not a good enough reason to not go back full time. He's apparently worried about making the mortgage payments etc, when they might increase next year when the fixed rate runs out. Not sure I can win this one, but just wanted a moan, and to know if anyone is in the same boat? xx


  • can you not tell him to get a better paid job! hubby earns more than me but is self employed so it fluctuates. i could cover our bills everymonth, whereas at the momwnt he can't, but by summer that will change once all his debts are paid off.

    we have and are going to look again into hubby going to 4 days a week. i want (atm) another baby soon after so want to stay full time now so mat pay wont be terrible with the next!

    also, i get 12 weeks holiday a year so will have baby all the time then!

    [Modified by: ***Calleigh*** on February 02, 2010 06:32 PM]

  • I am earning more money than oh, but will be made redundant. But I would probably find a better paid job than he will if I try. We however took out a lower mortgage upfront so we would be able to pay it even if I would not go back to work. He is happy for me to stay home, but has offered that I could go back to work and he will stay home.

    When did your fixed rate mortgage start? It might be going down if you started it when interest rates where high. (ours will go down in july) If you can I would work out what your monthly bills are and how much your food shopping would be. Than take money into account for cloths, going out and having some fun and see how much you need in the year. Keep an eye on the mortgage amount and calculate it if the interest goes up a bit as well.
    Write it all down and see how much is needed. Maybe than you can show your oh that it is possible for you to drop one shift or not. It might be that he is just worried on how you guys would cope financially and by showing him it might be ok he might warm up to the idea of you dropping one shift.
  • OH works nights, and feels this is best, so he's home and we don't have to pay out too much for child care. We will send lo to nursery 2 days a week, for socialisation and stimulation. He thinks there are no jobs out there anyway bu the moment, and wouldn't want to risk moving to a job that is less secure. We took our mortgage out in 2006 and it was 5 years fixed. So not due to change until middle of next year, who knows what interest rates will be doing by then?! I did work it all out a while ago, and I haven't really spent anything for the last couple of months. OH has been paying for groceries etc. I will recalculate, because all the bills do come out of my wages. I can see where OH is coming from, because there isn't much disposible income left after the bills. But I still don't want to give in if I really really don't have to! image x
  • im a student at mo but in a full time NA wage. when I qualify me and OH will earn pretty much the same and then I will work for 3/4 shifts a week to be at home some more.
    I would love to be a SAHM but we couldnt afford for me to and if I wasnt at uni I would also have to work full time as couldnt afford to drop any shifts so i do feel for you.
    sorry I dont have any answers or anything to help xx
  • when me and OH both worked i was the main earner...OH worked full time while i was on maternity leave and then the plan was for him to give up work and me work full time, however he lost his job a few weeks before i was due to go back so our plan worked out! now i work full time and OH just works evenings in a pub at weekends...altho it's hard and believe me it's HELL going to work, i have to think of the money and providing for JJ x
  • Yep, me, by A LOT!

    I am going back in April (had to take more time before the boys were born as I couldnt handle going to work!). The boys will be 6 1/2 months. Im gutted but there is no way I could not go back. I am only going back 4 days out of 5 (and will still earn more than hubby).

    Hubby has Mon/Tues off so he will have the boys then and my mum will have them Wed/Thurs until Sept when they will go to nursery 1 day a week. I will see very little of hubby which upsets me but its what I have to do as we do like the nicer things, including a big expensive house!

    I also get 13 weeks hol a year (although some of that will be spent working).

    Sorry I cant help but you arent alone.

    Gemma, Ryan and Alfie 17 + 1
  • Im the main earner as well but I told hubby that when I return to work in July I only want to return 3 days a week and he is happy with that so he has asked for extra training and is enrolling in a management course at work so that he can move on up. Ideally I would love to be a SAHM but we just couldnt afford for me to stop working completly. I dont think you are being unreasonable about dropping a shift at work, you want to spend more time with your lo and thats how I felt.
  • Heya hun
    I earn double what hubby does. When I feel pregnant he was in a really well paid job but he got made redundant and now is in a much lower paid job. Being the main wage earner I too was worried about going back full time. I have spoken to my work and instead of working my full time hours over 5 days I am going to work them over 4 longer days so I am still earning full pay but only over the 4 days so I have an extra day off with dd. It's going to be hard working long days but worth it to have that extra day with dd.
  • I don't earn more money than my hubby but did have to fight hard to get him to agree to me working 4-days a week instead of full-time.
    Money is tight but we have cut back on everything and are selling tonnes of stuff on ebay etc. just to bring in some extra cash.
    Not sure if its possible but can you do it on a trial basis? My company offered me a 3-month trial period before changing my contract fully just to see how we get on financially. It means I won't have a hassle going back full-time if we struggle.
  • I would be completely shattered doing 2 long days in a row, but that is a possibility. As for a trial basis of reduced hours, possibly, would have to look into that, if that's what OH ani I agreed on.

    Thanks for the replies. xx

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