MIL

When you girls have had your LO's how was your MIL with you? We haven't seen hubby's mum for the past week, no phone calls or txt's either. My mum is staying to help and she seems to think it's because she is here and that when she goes MIL will step up, but my mum openly admits that it wouldn't stop her visiting if the shoe was on the other foot.

I don't know what to think, hubby promised me when I was pregnant that things would change (she was very uninterested then) but he had to admit that things are no different. I sat in the bath this morning and sobbed :cry: Faye has been abit colicky this last 2 days, I'm so tired anyway and feeling abit blue. My mum goes home at the end of this week and hubby is back to work a week tm, I am so scared I'm not going to cope and with no offers of help from her I don't know what I'm going to do.

Should I just accept things for what they are and realise that she is never going to be grandmother for Faye that I expect her to be? But that's the hard bit I don't want to leave things be, I want to see an improvement and see her making an effort but without speaking to her and creating WW3 things will never change

Posts

  • Can I ask how old is your lo? It might be that she thinks you want a bit of space.... I know me and many other ladies wanted space, and were rather grumpy when not given it.... she may think you don't want her in your face right away.... Also you say how to improve the situation without talking to her.... she isn't a mind reader? You need to communicate, have you invited her around? My mil is the opposite always telling me how did I know she shouldn't be fed belladonna at three weeks old... I'm not a mind reader she says..... she's the opposite end of the spectrum.

    Could it be she is not a baby person, my pils are both really scant with the los until they can talk, then they are all over them.... some people have a really hard time knowing what to do with a baby...


    If this is the only reason then I wouldn't write them off yet but in laws are dubious and notorious for having more background to make you feel unhappy in the situation so I apologise if I am way off base. Good luck you will cope fine, and I think you may find once you get into your little routine you will find you are confident and enjoy your time just the two of you.


    xx

    [Modified by: hedgie on November 25, 2008 09:00 PM]

  • Our LO is 2 wks tomorrow. She visited everyday we were in hospital, often more than once and coming outside of visiting hours. Hubby went to hers on day 2 (baby blues day) for tea, he said she really pushed to come back with him for visiting, even when he said he thought it'd be nice for some time alone she still wanted to come in. The week before I was due, she decided she wanted to be in the delivery room

    There are issues btwn me and her (many of them unspoken and too many to bore you all with) when I was pregnant I had a run of urine infections and everytime we told her I wasn't well she'd say 'well as long as the baby is ok'. I was admitted at 35 wks with the last one before giving birth and was given co-codamol for the pain, I took it on an empty stomach without realising the effects it would have on me - I described my reaction to it as being a woman possesed and she said 'no change there then'. She came to see us the day we came home and my mum was showing her some baby pictures of me and comparing me & our lo, she said 'oh what went wrong?!'

    Hedgie she hasn't been invited round, but she has this week off work and has yet to get in contact. I had an horrendous delivery, I lost about half my blood supply so I'm not well and won't be till after xmas at least apparently. I need looking after and I need help/support which she realises but isn't offering. I'm not too proud to ask for help if I need it but why should I have to ask - she should be offering. Were not mind readers either, if she was saying away because my mum is about she should say so, instead of just being ignorant and making us both feel like shit

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