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sometimes i can't stand my baby...

That's the most awful thing to ever think, but it's how i feel.
I've only felt like this for the last couple of weeks. I love my baby so much, he's so gorgeous, and clever, and I'm really proud of him and how he's developing.
But sometimes i feel like i can't stand him. He's whiny, and clingy and he just annoys the hell out of me. Sometimes i wish i could just run away from him.
I don't think it's normal to feel like this, is it? Are we just going through a rough patch?
I don't deserve such a gorgeous baby if i'm having these kinds of thoughts.
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Replies

  • i'm no expert just a newish mummy, and i think with being so tired and hormones all over the place youre bound to feel stressed and fed up, please dont feel you dont deserve him, you just need a bit of me time, have you got anyone to help out or just sit with him while you go into another room and have a cuppa or something? i don't think anyone could admit to not being annoyed at times with tears and baby tantrums it's hard work and a major shock to the system.
    please dont take offence but have you spoken to your hv or dr, could it be a touch of pnd? i really hope there are some mummies who can give you better advice, i just wanted you to know that you're not alone and not to be so hard on yourself, i really hope you are feeling better soon, take care of yourself
  • how old is ur lo?
  • He' s 17 weeks and i've had the pnd tests, and they came back fine.
    I don't feel depressed or down - i've just developed such a quick temper, i even shout at the baby when he's screaming. It's not like me at all.
    Maybe just sleep deprivation? He's never slept much through the night....
    But i've got plenty of energy, i'm sleeping fine, when given the chance, i'm eating fine - basically not showing any of the normal depression symptoms you would expect, so i'm not sure it could be pnd....
  • im gonna confess to you now and i havnt told many people this. I have felt exactly the same. Very quick temper, shouting at him, walking out the room slamming the door. once i even scratched my forehead to bits in dispair so your not alone at all. my lo is nearly 5 months and is going threw a bad patch at the mo because he has just ahd his jabs and i get very tired and stressed. ive gone to docs and she said its not pnd just stress. please dont judge me any ladies reading this i love my son to the ends of the earth and would never hurt him i couldnt be without him. sound familiar mrsc06? xxx
  • are you one of these put a brave face on in public kind of person, because personally i feel when i took the test i was very aware that someone else was going to judge me on it? i also nearly always put the middle choice for any multiple choice sort of question when it comes to agree/disagree.

    however if you're not feeling depressed it does seem a bit odd, it may just be that your lo is going through a bad patch, i know when my lo had a week of non-stop crying as he was under the weather i really couldn't cope and just wanted to give him away (but not really if that makes sense) good luck
  • Sounds like you ladies are having it hard. Try to keep your chin up. I think we all have our down moments (or hours), me included as my son is teething really bad with his top two, if I manage 3 hours sleep a night, I think myself lucky.
    I can't give you any advice, but I'm sending you a hug with this reply, as I bet a hug and some support would really help. I know that I need a hug now after the day I've had....
    Love,
    Tina
  • yeah, that sounds familiar. not just me then!
    we're going on holiday soon, mayb that'll help. his dad works alot, so i'm on my own with baby most of the time, mayb i just need a break. i've only just started mixed feeding, and this is a hungry boy i have here. I've never been able to express, so that has meant that i've not been able to leave him for more than a couple of hours.
    i'll see how i feel when we come back from holiday, and if i'm still the same, i'll talk to hv about it. really don't think it's pnd though, i did answer the tests honestly - i've never been one for putting on a brave face when it comes to these things.
    don't think anyone will judge either of us, sunnymummy, i'm glad you confessed though, it makes me feel better to know it's not just me that's going through this.
    hugs to everyone!
    xx
  • awww thanks tina that was nice. my oh works alot so not here to help that much but does what he can. xxx
  • I think most of us go through this in some way or another. I have 3 and def felt like that with my first. This time round I just seem to get moments when it feels crap.
    Sending you hugs. x
  • you ladies are so lovely no one ever judges here ive just told you that ive scratched my forehair to bits in dispair and shouted at my baby and you still send hugs. dunno what ide do without you.. group hug!!!!!!!!!
  • hes not a bad baby at all but these jabs seem to have knocked him sideways! ive been very lucky with his sleeping as he has slept threw since he was 6 weeks so wen he gets up in the might i find it hard to keep my cool. I even said i hated him last night how awful is that i didnt mean it of course. this evening he has had his warm bath had his johnsons bedtime lotion on, and in nice clean clothes and finally ive managed to get a decent feed down him 6oz and hes fast asleep now having his pre bedtime nap so im happy with that.... course you can join our stroppy mums group ivava lol xxxx
  • Its ok to feel like this - I think us mums beat ourselves up too much and we just expect to love our babies all of the time.But if you spent this much time with anyone else they would get on your nerves some time its the same with a baby plus its hard hard work some times.

    I think to make it more bearable on these days you need to get out and about go and have a coffee or go to a baby group or something.Plus if you can get some one to look after the baby or help out a bit then it all helps.Just don't feel guilty we cannot be perfect all of the time.

    I would of said maybe a bit of pnd but as you have taken the tests then maybe not - just keep an eye on it.
    I have been having counselling for the last few weeks for pnd and am finding it hard going but helpful.She has said that it normal to get fed up with your baby sometimes so that has made me feel better.
  • i also feel the same way. i love evie to death when she's happy and smiley and plays nicely, but when nothing will please her and she moans on and on and is basically a nuisance i just wana run away and cant be bothered at all with her. i think thats only normal! lol, we are like that with other people too ie other halves so its only normal to feel like that about your LO, especially when u actually CANT run away lol, u have no choice to to look after them, and also its not like you can talk things through and ask why they are acting that way and ask them to stop which makes it even more aggitating than if it were an adult. xxx
  • i cant belive there are so many mums that feel like this i thought i was alone. maybe i am normal after all. i think we all assume that all other mums have perfect babies and perfect lives but they dont all babies are difficult sometimes. we expect too much of ourselves i think.xxx
  • I actually think its brave of you to say so and quite normal to feel like you are...we all love our los to bits but it doesnt mean we have to be perfect mommies and all happy and coping great 24/7!My son is now 9mths im a single mom and it can be tough especially at the moment as hes going through a phase of being clingy and hard to please and to top it off hes not sleeping during day as he used to and is hard to settle at night!never used to be so its come as a shock and im having days of being very stressed,ive slammed the door and got annoyed at my son..im just being honest here and i think alot more moms can relate then perhaps say so,i certainly would not shout at or harm him but i do get so annoyed and then get annoyed at myself for feeling this way,i dont think its depression i just feel its normal,no one said it would be easy!all the best as so many have already said your NOT alone in feeling the way you do
  • Thanks ladies, i've just read through and i definately feel better now! I know i have a very well behaved baby and have had since he was born (he's 5mths) but even still i get frustrated at such stupid things at times and feel like rubbish and cry and slam cupboard doors, but then i feel like i've got no right to feel grumpy and cross with him as i know other mums have it so much harder and most of the time its stupid little things like him spitting his dinner over me and not eating (then i get angry as if he doesnt eat dinner he doesnt sleep so well, then i dont sleep so well). I'm taking comfort from knowing everyone else gets frustrated too. And i put on one big front... stepford wife by day, monster behind closed doors. But then i probably make it harder for myself being like that...oh well.
    anyway, thanks again for all making me feel normal xxx
  • I feel like this sometimes too especially when im trying to get us both ready to go out or trying to get on with some housework. I love Joshua to bits but when all you want to do is have a cup of tea in peace and quiet and watch 60min make over I just think pls be quiet stop whining and moaning blah blah blah but as ive said before joshua is like my handbag...id be lost without him! try not to beat yourself up its tough being a mum 24/7 and if im honest tougher than i thought but also more rewarding so its deffo swings and roundabouts xxx
  • yes i have to admitt its harder than i thought it would be but i wouldnt be without him, i always tell myself that if ever he wasnt there to wake me or mess around at bottle time or cry then i would be xxx
  • I have to agree(of course)im a single mom and this makes it harder as simply isnt anyone else to take over for afew mins when all i wanna do is have a shower..like now lol hes not sleeping in the day as he used to and god i miss those 1hr naps where i would get things done or just relax with a cuppa but i just dont know where i would be without him!when he stays at grannies overnight i wake up nxt morning and just feel lost without him...crazy aint it?lol
  • I felt like that on a few occasions namely this morning i felt like running away my 5yr old was whinging my lo was crawling after me whinging pulling on my pants im 30 weeks pg and all i wanted to do was get a wee and get 5yr old to drama class, i was so relieved when my mam put her face to the window as she takes us and she offered to have 5yr tonight to sleep and she has both of them every wed and sun so i get the help but i still feel like that sometimes and being pg doesnt help i think why in gods name im i doing it again then they both behave and smile at me and my heart melts and i feel so bad as i love them sooooooo much.
    vikki xx
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