Why can't I cope? Feeling a bit down

I have a 2 and a half year old and a 5 week old and I'm finding it difficult to cope. My 2 qnd a half year old just won't leave the baby alone. She's not being malicious, she just wants to play and cuddle her but is really heavy handed and I feel like I'm either constantly telling her off or I'm constantly carrying the baby with me wherever I go.

Today has been particularly bad and I have had to phone my parents to come and take my eldest for a couple of hours as I felt on the verge of smacking her, which I don't want to do as I don't feel she is purposely hurting her.

I am now in tears as I feel like I should be able to handle this and am now feeling like a bit of a failure not being able to cope with 2 children.

Will it start to get better, has anyone got any advice they can give me please?



  • Hi I am in a similar situation I have a 3 year old and a 4week old. He seems to know when I tell him. But my friend had a smaller gap like u and had the same problem what she did was get a playpen for the baby have baby in there for parts of the day so u don't have to worry all the time. Then she would have times when she got baby out so the older one could have cuddles with baby.

    Hope this helps a bit and it will get easier chin up sweet xx
  • I dont have any advice im afraid but didnt want to read and run. My best friend has a three year old twins just about to turn two so she really struggled, she had a play pen and did what MJ has advised - the babies went in there - and also in there in their moses baskets to sleep so they were safe, she also got a homestart volunteer through her hv to help her spend quality time with her eldest. Whatever you find to help you are not unable to cope, you are just having to deal with a very hard and tiring situation, dont beat yourself up and make sure you do use family and friends to help xx
  • I'm sorry but I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have 4 year old twins and 2 week old and finding things quite tough. I feel like the worst mummy in the world as I end up shouting at the twins for silly little things and feel like I'm forever saying no to them. I'm sure this will get better for us once we've settled into a routine and get a bit more sleep. Big hug to you! xx
  • Its hard work!
    With Lily (who was 2 years 4 months when Evie was born) I was constantly saying 'dont'! And it was an interesting phone call to NHS direct when Lily managed to catapult a 4 week old Evie off the sofa but thats a whole other story.

    I found it helped to give Lily specific jobs. For example, it was her job to put the bottle in the sink, or get the baby's socks or get the wipes and nappy for baby's bum change.
    She soon got used to the new routine but I still need eyes in the back of my head. Lily also has 1 night a week (usually) where she stays at SIL's or my mums so she can have their undivided attention and I can spend time with the baby.
    By the time Evie was 8 weeks old Lily was rather bored with her!

    It will get better

    Serena X
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