feeling down and emotional.

hiya, im having down day and need some support. I don't really know where to start but basically i just don't know what to do to make Charlie more settled and content. he cries and cries for his feed so he has this, then once he seems settled i try and put him in his chair or on his mat but he cries until i end up picking him up and even then is only a bit happy if he is up over my shoulder (but is getting way too heavy for this). if he does nap its for 10-20mins after falling asleep in my arms, if i then put him down he wakes straight away crying/grizzly and just won't settle himself. i just don't know what to do, im not enjoying my M/L as all i can do is sit on the sofa all day watching tv(inbetween moans/or coming on here.

i feel like such a bad mum as i dont know what to do to make him a happy baby, whenever we have visitors he seems fine so no one really believes me, hubby is going back to work 2moro and i don't think i can cope on my own. i also think the neighbours will think im doing something awful as sometimes he's cries are so high pitched so again i hold him alot so that he doesnt get too noisy.

if he would just seem more settled and i could get a few things done i would feel much better.

Im now sat here in floods of tears. i just feel like im a crap mum, i feel silly for getting upset but just don't know what to do!! i broke down on the phone to my mum so she's on her way over and hubby just took charlie off me as i was crying so much. i was fine up till yesterday but its hit me that as of 2moro im on my own. :cry:

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  • (((( hugs )))) its bloody hard work isn't it? I'm currently sat with Faye in her sling because she was grumping and now she is sleeping image

    This time last week there were tears and tantrums in our house because I was facing my first week alone since Faye was born (charlie and faye are same age I think?)

    Have you got any groups you can get out too or friends who were pregnant when you were? We were out most days last week and it did stop the cabin fever and the time we were home didn't seem so bad...

    Apparently once they get abit older and can sit up it becomes easier because you can stay at home and do things like playdough with them....?
  • Awww hun - big hugs!!! You're not a bad mum AT ALL! Babies don't come with instructions - it's as much a learning process for mum's as it is for babies!

    Some babies are more clingy than others - it's not anything that you've done. A friend of mine, her lo was exclusively bf at first and was always unsettled & whingy unless being held or rocked - she introduced 2 bottle feeds during the day and he suddenly changed....he still had whingy moments etc but not as many so she made the hard decision to bring in more bottle feeds. He's 11 wks now and I think she is still giving 2 or 3 bf in the day/night as well as bottles but he's become a lot more settled than he was. Obviously, I'm not saying this will work for everyone but you just have to sit down and think logically about what could be causing him to b so unsettled - is it trapped wind? Reflux? Tummy ache?

    Best of Luck hun xxxxxxx
  • oh hun,

    I know how you feel, Molly never used to settle, she was unhappy in her chair, car seat, playmat, moses basket, with anyone other than me! It was very hard work especially with a toddler to look after! (abnd he was such a happy baby!) She would just want to feed all the time and i was confined to the sofa to feed her, i even had to wear her in a cradle sling while i played with my son, hoovered, dishes etc. She wouldn't sleep in her moses or cot and only slept with me in our bed, hubby had to sleep on the sofa!!! This went on until about 3 weeks ago (when she was 12 weeks), then everything just clicked into place! I didn't do anything that different, i would just let her cry more and not pick her up as often. She now happily sits in her bouncy seat, plays on her playgym and sleeps in her cot! I can even put her in it awake and she soothes herself with her thumb to sleep!!

    She is now 15 weeks and things are brill with her! She is very much a Mummy's girl and loves her cuddles but is also content in her own company.

    I know it is such a cliche but it DOES get easier!!!

    Take care babe! x

    http://newtickers.bump-and-beyond.com/25/2533/253382.png

  • Are you catching up on sleep? Things are definitely worse when I'm tired, I'm more emotional and irrational!!!

    Faye likes to be held alot and atm were currently trying to teach her to fill herself up on her feeds as she is colic'y so were having to stretch them to 2.5 hrs when she has been feeding 90 mins-2 hrs but only snacking, it's been a loooooooong weekend

    Hope you're ok?
  • i can totally relate!!!

    Archie is 4 weeks old tomorro and i have the odd day where everyone is against me!!! Its hard to get out and about, but worth it! Ive just got back from tesco and the half hour out of the house has made me feel more relaxed, and the car ride has sent him off to the land of nod,,,,so we're both happy! OH is suffering with a hangover, so hes on the sofa, but archie loves cuddles with his mummy and play time with daddy. i get no smiles at all, but hes like a cheshire cat when daddy pays him attention.

    if you do start to feel down and wound up, pop your LO in a safe place and walk away and take deep breaths for 10secs, sounds daft, but it does work. Archie was wide awake between 3am and 7am this morning and i was gettin frustrated, he dropped off eventually. when he finally woke at 11am for a feed, i caught him just as he was wakin and we snuggled til 2pm snoozing which we dont get to do often as my OH insists on him being on the sofa or in his basket when he sleeps....but i love my cuddles LOL

    chin up, it will get easier
  • Oh please don't feel like a bad mum, you obviously really care about Charlie and are doing your best with him.

    Lily was a terror for the first 6 weeks of her life...she would sleep okay in her pram during the day but all night she was up every hour or so and would only sleep if I held her upright image I had hallucinations at one point cos I was sooo tired, was sure I could see a ghost on the stairs!

    Most of Lily's problem was tummy related, I'm not sure if she had colic but just really bad tummyache a lot of the time with bad runny nappies. We changed her onto cow and gate comfort milk and tried the usual infacol and gripe water. She got better and started sleeping through nights from 11-7 from about 6 weeks onwards, but after that she never slept much in the day. But it got so much easier to deal with once I had more experience and had got to know her a bit better. It all just takes time.

    I'm sure you'll be fine hun, and so will Charlie. Make the most of your family and friends and get some rest if you can. Also walks in the pram are a great way to get lo off to sleep.

    xxx
  • thanks everyone.xx I've had a good cry and feel much better. Charlie is 9 weeks so i do feel i should know what he needs by now but some days its hard! and i think im worried about being on my own but im sure it will be fine.x Also i get so many people saying it could be this or it could be that that i just don't know what to do or how im supposed to know what is wrong (or if its normal).x Big thankyou again girls, it really does help being able to come on here and let off steam.xxx
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