Can't leave alone for one minute!

My dd is now 5 months old however in the last couple of weeks it has become more and more difficult to leave her to play on her own. Sometimes she just won't let me put her down and if I do she goes bananas - even going to the loo is a mission! I used to be able to leave her on her activity mat for 15mins or so while I made myself a cup of tea/did some housework etc but now she just looks at me and whimpers until I go to her. I'm worried that I'm letting her be dependent on me and having to spend all her waking hours keeping her company, do I just leave her or is it just a phase? Help!

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  • Sorry you're having such a hard time. I completely understand as my lo was the same. In fact she's been very 'demanding' since she was born, always needing constant attention, stimulation and company. However i believe there is light at the end of the tunnel as my lo is now almost 7mnths and is very good at keeping herself amused. I now get to wash eat and do housework in peace because she will entertain herself-yipee!! I feel that this breakthrough is down to perseverence and not always picking her up at the first wimper. I'm not very good at leaving her to cry but soon began to realise that sometimes she would start to moan but if i left her she would settle. I kept doing this and eventually she has learnt to settle for longer periods. I always leave her with toys etc so she's not bored. I think she has learnt to enjoy her own company which is important. I must say though i don't believe in letting them cry for long as i think they learn that being on their own is bad, so you have to try and get a happy medium (easier said than done!) It also helps if you see all the time spent with your lo (with no time to yourself!) is time invested in their developement and that your lo will grow up to be secure, happy and clever! hope things improve for you xx
  • Evie has been like this since birth, but slowly but surely is starting to improve, she is now almost 6months. i don't pick her up immediately, for a start it isn't always practical, i will generally say to her in a nice voice "mummys busy, i'll just be one moment" and although she doesnt know what i'm saying exactly, because i do it everytime, she understands the concept that i will be there shortly, i then finish up what i'm doing, be it a few dishes or putting on the washine machine etc, then go to her. rather than pick her up i tend to just go and play with her toys with her and get her interested in them. if i want to nip off again i always say "mummy will be back in a minute (or two or whatever)" and she seems to cope if i go out of the room if i do this. if i just go out of the room without saying anything she gets a bit upset. i think it would work with most babies if you kept it up. i never let evie get to screaming point, i will always go and cuddle her or reassure her if i think she's genuinely upset and not just attention seeking. good luck with it all, it can be very hard but i believe they can be shown how to entertain themselves! xxx
  • Hiya - I am opposite from the others as little one has never been wanting my attention or needing picking up etc - but I have found this has happened a couple of times, the first at 4 months, and again recently at 6.5months.
    This is the time babies tend to suffer from seperation anxiety and is completely normal. It should pass, even though it is a pain in the bum while they go through it. It's very draining isn't it?!
    Mine has been going through it again quite recently, but this time it's down to teething I think. He doesn't like me to be out of sight, and twice in 2 days I've picked him up and he's snuggled into my shoulder which he's never done before. Last night I even had to cuddle him to sleep which has never been known!
    Don't worry about it too much, things will even themselves out I'm sure.


    [Modified by: Trackieann on May 09, 2008 07:48 PM]

  • My lo is going through this as well. She is very clingy to me and I can't go out of her sight or she goes mental. At the minute she wont even let anyone else nurse her and I am finding it very demanding. Even when she is tired she wants me and will hardly let her daddy hold her.

    I am returning to work on 1st July and I am trying to get her to stay with my mil who is going to watch her but everytime I go there and they try and hold her she goes off her head crying. I am going to try and leave her for a while next week and see how it goes.

    I hope your child settles but I would say that she is going through the separation anxiety stage and I will admit this is hard work but you will get through it. Just maybe don't pick up her up as often but I know this is hard because I find this hard too.
  • Thanks for the advice all, have to admit I find it hard to put her down sometimes. I think it's worse at the moment as she can't sit up by herself yet, but sick of being on her back all the time where she can't do that much. Me and hubby are meant to be leaving her for a weekend with my Mum in a month's time as we have an event to go to so I really hope she improves otherwise it'll be hard for all of us!
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