OH low crying tolerence

Hi girls,
Tonight I fed and changed Connor told OH he was tired and went to get a shower. Id been in the shower 5mins before Connor started to cry, then oh shouted at him and yelled at me to get out of the shower because my son was crying!
I know OH was tired but its not the first time this has happened and I just feel like I cant do anything. when hes had less thn 9 hours sleep or been to work!
I do around 80% o the childcare, never get good nights sleep because im breastfeeding have soothed and looked after Connor when ive been up for 40 hours, when ive had mastitis with a 40degree temp, bad back ect ect
Why can he not soothe him for 10 minutes whilst i get a shower?


PS feel guilty for moaning when hes in a good mood he is great with Connor just needed to vent


  • Awe hun, your not alone, and men do not get it. They live in man land where they think that real life actually involves getting 8 hours sleep, and I bet they genuinely believe that the toilet is self cleaning. You deserve a 10 minute break, perhaps explaining more thoroughly to oh next time the step by step procedure then he might better respond. I have always had to say "Okay I need a shower, I'll be back in 5 minutes. The baby might cry... if so please pick her up and rock her gently until I return. Or if that doesn't work try talking to her... you know how she smiles when you talk to her about the sitcom you like watching..." I know it sounds terribly lame but it's the only way I have ever gotten through. Best wishes

  • thanks girls, he apologised to me today so im not cross anymore, i explained to him that i have to take care of Connor no matter how im feeling so if i could just shower in peace it would be nice, and he said hed do more! result!
  • Glad you got things sorted and he's apologised. You really are not alone my oh is great most of the time but I agree about the low tolerence level- he loses his temper much quicker than I think I do and I end up having to sort things. I feel bad as then he gets upset with himself coz he knows there's no need to be ragey. I know he's just shattered and he's been wonderful over the 2 week holiday. Still think working then coming home to us must be sooooooooooo tiring!!x
  • I asked my dh if it was ok if I had a shower, louise had only recently woken up and I had fed her so he should only need to entertain her. I was very stroppy when he replied 'only if it's quick' as he doesn't ask for permission to have a shower!

    My dh is fantastic but men just don't have the same mothering instincts. Ilovemygeek - my dh does that too, I feel bad telling him what to do all the time but if I dont then I would do everything!! Except he does now happily get up at night as he didn't want an overtired stroppy wife anymore!!
  • I must admit my OH has always been really good. Never once moaned at noise etc and would have no problem if i nipped off to bathroom for a shower etc. Jack is bottlefed and we'll take it in turns to do night feeds and nappy changes. Even when we had not slept for 3 days when Jack was 1st born he still told me to go sleep. Bless him.

  • my oh is fab, but like everyone, has bad days when we havent slept much, and seein as archie has a yoadlers lungs, he really goes for it if and when he cries, and it sometimes gets my oh down, and his patience wears thin.
  • yeah i guess men jus have a different understanding to things n jus reminding them in the nicest way helps a lot too
  • i approach the subject carefully as my OH has stress related seizures, so we have to keep as calm as we possibly can, so i dont like it when archie has a good moan and a grizzle cuz it stresses oh out and the last thing i need is a crying baby and a partner out cold on the floor !! he copes magnificantly tho ... and does everything he can for us, altho i do all the night shifts, i dont mind
  • Your not alone babe only a small persentage of men cant actualy tolorate baby crying for more than a few seconds. but they do tend to get better with the little ones once they get older and they can play with them properly and the little one can make it clearer what it is they want x
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