Routine any ideas please

Lily is 6 weeks old, I will admit openly I have found the 6 weeks really tough I never imagined just how hard it would be.
She crys so much it breaks my heart, I have tried everything to make her calm and it is a battle every day.
I have been told to try to get her into a routine and this wll help but what routine, the eves are the worst which I think is colic, during the day she sleeps most of the time I do try and keep her awake but I am so shattered from the nights it is hard.
I bath her and feed her in her nursery I start about 7pm and it is now 10.45 and she has only just gone to sleep with me rocking her. She will be awake about 1am and then on and off all night.
Has anyone got a simple routine I can try? I am feeling quite down about it all and I just want to enjoy my beautiful little girl



  • you're lo will just be about ready for rountine now, it takes a good few weeks to get the hang of night and day and being in the real world. I give ciara a bath between 7.30-8 then a little bit of baby massage, pj's on and then a feed. (When shes almost done i burp her and put her in her dreampod-sleepingbag thing) then give her the rest of the feed. When she starts driftin off i put her into bed and put her disney cd on and she falls asleep. My HV said after her bath take her into the room where she sleeps and give her a feed etc in that room...but it would drive me potty sitting in the bedroom for what could be hours. so i bring her back into the living room. Also a tip which really helped us..the only time she goes in the moses basket is at she knows when she is in there its for a long sleep...during the day she sleeps on her playmat or carry helped her to learn the difference between day and night.

    good luck
  • i know how you feel!!!!!!!!!

    i found that once hubby went back to work, a routine just formed. jessica was prob 7 weeks or so when a routine formed. she had bad colic due to being so small. 5lb 6oz.

    it does get better. is you oh around a t night to help? swaddling helped jess. you could try that. have you used infacol? takes a few days to get in their system.
    just rest when you can.
    trust me things do get better. jessica is now 7 months and is sleeping from 7.30pm till 8am.
  • this is our routine now and has been for a while now:

    naked time: 6.30pm - 6.40pm
    bath: 6.40pm - 6.50pm
    dry, baby massage then dressed.

    lights out, no talking, put in gro bag, feed,

    in cot between 7.15pm to 7.30pm.

    just go with the flow your own routine will emerge. dont force it, i did at first and i got more stressed.
  • thanks for the advice girls! I think I am trying too hard and it is making me feel like I am letting her down. To make it worse all the other mums I met at NCT seem to have the perfect calm babies and Lily just kicks off big time when we meet up so I dread the get togethers.

    HV said it gets easier oh 7.30 to 8am that is normal life Disco Diva roll on those days for us.

    I brought some dream Pods Bailey B so will try one tomorrow.

    This site really keeps you sane!

  • you are not letting her down!!!
    your her mommy!! and she knows it.

    trust me, just go with it, a routine will just happen and you'll feel like your on top of the world.

    when i think of how jess was to how she is now, its hard to remember the early weeks. me and hubby talk about the times we took it in turns to be up with her on hourly shifts!!!

    let us know how get on.
  • Have you read any books on routine? I started Oscar on a Baby Whisperer routine at 6 weeks and he slept through the night from 11 weeks ish (it's hazy now and he's only just 10 months lol) I chose that one because I didn't want Oscar to get used to feeding to sleep. Definitely recommend it.

    Basically her routine for a 6 week old is feeding every 3 hours then activity after they've fed (this includes changing as it's all new to them) If I remember rightly you aim to keep them up for 20 mins to half an hour after each feed. Then put them down for a nap. I always put Oscar down for daytime sleep in his bouncer chair or on me with it as bright and noisy as I could have it without it imposing on his sleep.

    At night you cluster feed them so at the feed around 3pm you then feed 2 hours later with only a short nap in between. Then at 6pm give baby half a feed followed by a bath then a massage, then swaddle her (if she likes it) and give her the rest of the feed in a darkened room. Then put her in her basket and leave her. If she cries pick her up and hold her upright against your shoulder so her head is buried in your neck and make a shhh-ing sound and pat her back to calm her down. When she's calm but still awake put her in the basket on her side, still patting her back and shhh-ing until she falls asleep. Gradually you'll need to do less of this as she gets used to sleeping in her basket.

    If you're bottle feeding, or she'll take a bottle of expressed milk you can dream feed her at around 3 hours after her last feed. Basically pick her up gently, or prop her up in the basket and feed her in her sleep. I swore by dream feeding as it teaches the body to sleep for longer periods of time without letting her go hungry. My oh works late so he used to do the dream feed when he got home so I could get some sleep then I'd do the night feed.

    As long as she's eating enough in the day and having that dream feed she shouldn't need a night feed by 8-12 weeks if she's bottle fed, later if you're bf'ing. My lo stopped night feeds at 7/8 weeks with the dream feed which was bliss!!

    As for the colic - infacol is wonderful, as is gripe water. Being in the warm water of the bath will help to soothe and relax her to help get the wind out. Baby massage will do this too.

    Sorry if I've waffled on - I can't sleep lol. Also, I barely knew my name in the first 6 weeks of Oscar's life. It's hard but it really does get easier, so don't be too hard on yourself! Xx
  • Hi Helen,

    I know you have had some really good responses to your post but just wanted to say...

    William is 9 weeks old today and I have found things really tough too. He had Colic but I started using Colief just over 1 week ago and it has worked wonders. I have been panicking about getting him in to a routine, his feeding was all over the place and I could not see any routine emerging even though I was told one would just form. For some reason over the past couple of days William seems to be feeding every 3 hours whereas before he was snack feeding every 1-2 hours just taking small feeds & he was sleeping loads in the day but now sleeps less and sleeps better at night.

    We try to start William's routine at 6:30pm by feeding him a little to get him in a good mood so he is not too hungry, then we bath him, then we get him dressed for bed and give him the rest of his feed. I have only just started trying to put him down to bed awake and letting him settle himself, well I did it on Saturday and it worked but yesterday was different as he fell asleep at 5pm and slept until 12:45am so he did not get a bath or last feed. I was worrying when he did not wake for his feed at around 7pm but decided that if was hungry he would wake.
    I dread leaving the house with William as he cries a lot. He needs to be entertained constantly and gets bored very easily. Hopefully as he is in more of a routine with his feeding (if it lasts) then going out won't be as stressful as I will know that he is fed and can last until his next feed. (Before he would be screaming for food 1 hour after he had fed so I could not get anywhere!)

    I would be lost without this site, I have posted a lot recently as I have felt things have been getting on top of me but hopefully we have turned a corner...

    Really hope you manage to work a routine out but don't stress about it. Just take it 1 day at a time!

    Sorry to have gone on about ???????me??????? but just wanted to let you know you are not on your own....

  • Hi Helen,

    You are so so so not alone! My wonderful gorgeous little boy has the most amazing set of lungs. Every time I met up with the NCT girls from our antenatal classes I would be the one walking around with lo over the shoulder apologising profusely for the noise and leaving early. It does get better!

    Lo is 12 weeks now and has managed to reduce his 6 hour screaming epics (from about 8pm til 2am) to a 20 minute whinge around 7.30pm. He also has a habit still of waking up grumpy which is fun.

    Here's what has helped us:
    Infacol - give it a couple of days to kick in and try a double dose at the feed before the usual screaming period
    Gripe water - when the infacol just isn't enough
    Dr Brown/MAM bottles - again give them a couple of days but lo drank so much better out of these and had less strife settling afterwards
    Dummy - I know this is a bit controversial and totally personal preference but did wonders for calming him down after feeds and holding him off a bit longer before as he hasn't quite got the hang of thumb sucking (sometimes it seems he just wants to comfort suck after feeding)
    Changing nappy half way through feed - don't know if it moves the wind around or what but he'd always have a bit more after

    I can't think of anything else but lo will get into their own routine. Ours is now 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, bath, 8pm, bed.

    Good luck hun, and if you can get your mum or mil to sit one evening grab it with both hands and get away from it all for 2 or 3 hours. It makes a massive difference.

    Clare x
  • Hi hun!

    I can totally relate to what you are saying. Abby Had horific colic at nights and the crying just broke my heart! We put her on infacol and it helped big time but didn't totally get rid of it. Swaddling also helped, as did laying her across my knee on her front. Rubbing around her belly button in a clockwise direction eased it a little bit as this is the natural direction of the bowel, and can help move some of the trapped wind. Deep warm bathing. Also cuddling tight. The slight pressure reminds them up being tucked up tight in the womb. As you may see we tried absolutely EVERYTHING!!! Oh and another colic calmer was gently swaying and singing for a while i think it was the repetition that did it.

    As for a routine i was becoming slightly obsessed when Abs was about 6 weeks but just didn't know where to start. Tried quite alot of different things but was getting nowhere. In the end i just tried to keep things pretty much the same on a daily basis like a walk in the pram at around the same time every day. Even though she was asleep i think just getting ME into a routine helped. Tv was turned down low as were lights at the same time every night followed by a bath cuddles bedtime story and bottle. It took a couple of weeks but she got the idea. Abby is still up once through the night for a feed at 17+wks old. but i'm just glad it's not 12am bed and up every hour or so until 6am like it was.

    Hang in ther it will get better and easier and you will begin to enjoy every day!!

  • dear all thanks for taking the time out to reply to me I have read all your posts and all the advice is brilliant!
    Today I feel like I have hit a wall I am exhausted, Lily cried the best part of the day poor little thing, I gave her a bottle of formula at 6pm and she has slept since, I have made the decision to stop BF and eventually do FF as I really think this will be the best for us both.

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