Separation anxiety - all mine!!

Oh ladies

I'm going back to work in Sept and DD will be with a childminder 1 day a week. So today we started the 'settling in visits'. Brilliant in theory but beyond awful in practice. The idea being that I leave her with the childminder for an hour this week, then 2 hours next week etc etc to build up to a full day for when I go back to work.

So we got there
I passed her over to the childminder
gave her a kiss goodbye...
.............and honestly wanted to cry my eyes out in the car!!:cry::cry::cry::cry:

Was SO horrible having her seat in the back with no gurgling little bundle in it. Cannot believe how hard I found it! Had to head to the nearest shops and spend money I've not got to keep my mind off it. Was SO SO pleased when the hour was nearly up.

Needless to say I got back and DD was happy as Larry monkeying around on the floor with the childminder! :roll:

Urgh - when is my lottery win going to come so that I don't have to go back to work.........!!!!!????

Please can some of you mummies that have already done this reassure me that I'm not the wettest lettuce in the history of western civilisation.......

MN and DD (20+2)


  • Oh hun, know exactly how you feel!
    I remember when DD was 13 weeks old, I left her all day cos I had to go to Brighton - I bawled my eyes out for ages, had to try sooo hard not to keep texting my mum who was looking after her!

    I now have my mum in law look after DD one afternoon a week, so we can both get used to being apart. I have to say that after the intial few times, I'm fine with it now - it does get easier! She retires soon so will be asking her to gradually increase the hours she has her. My mum is also going down to part time in three weeks so am going to ask her to do the same.

    Still need to gear myself up for a full day yet...! But you're definately doing it the right way, hour by hour. Another suggestion could be to join the childminder in looking after DD for a couple of times, or stay for half an hour, then leave, you'll get to see how they interact with each other etc... This definately helps in handing my own DD over cos I have seen them in action together before!!

    [Modified by: hopefulmummy on July 02, 2010 09:36 PM]

  • MonkeyNuts I completely understand. I wanted to cry at a simple nursery visit! We were shown to baby room and talked through it all and then the manager said "so do you want to leave her here while we go see the other rooms?" I wanted to cry and shout NO I CAN'T LEAVE MY BABY!!
    But I was brave and we looked round the rest of the nursery. Got back and some random stranger (ok one of the nursery nurses) was holding my very dare she, give her back!
    Anyways hubby and I are discussing me staying home....PLEEEEASE let it be possible. As I really can't think about leaving her to go back to work next year.
    Well done for being brave. Sounds like a good plan building up the time you leave her - for both of your sakes.
  • The first day at a childminder for my lo was awful. She was 7 months old. I took her at 8am and thought about her the whole time I was at work. I got regular text updates to say she was fine and what she was doing etc so I knew she was ok. I left work and got stuck in one of the worst traffic jams ever ( or so it felt!), I didn't get to her till gone 7pm by which point it was almost her bedtime. I cried the whole evening as I was heartbroken at not spending time with her and having to go back to work at all.
    I know you're saying 'she's not helping'! BUT .... it got so much better! I now accept that I have to work in order to provide a nice home and a good lifestyle for our family and my dd is with an amazing childminder who she adores. She will be 3 in September and they have an amazing relationship and she loves going! She is a very confident, bright little girl who I obviously adore and we just make sure that our weekends together are spent doing as many fun things as possible!
    I guess what I'm saying is, if you have to go back to work, try not to get too upset - it honestly does get better!
  • DonnaandPoopy, your post just made me feel better!
    I'm back to work in 2 weeks and while looking forward to using my brain again, I'm already dreading how much I will miss LO. I'm going back 4 days a week and it's unbelievable how many people say to me how much that is, it makes me feel even worse!
    But I know, as well, that we have a nice home and need to pay the mortgage and at least I will be off every Mon with him as well as the whole weekend.
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