should I offer advice? How do I do it tactfully?

Hey everybody! Just looking for some oppinions and what you think I should do...

I became an aunty a week ago today, my brothers fiance had a little boy. They're fantastic parents and doing a great job. The only thing I'm finding very strange is that they are waking him up 2hourly for a bottle. which, if he takes 20mins to have his feed and fall asleep, can mean he's only sleeping an hour and 40mins at a time - which to me doesnt seem long at all for a newborn!?

I completely understand the need or want for a routine, but surely, if he will happily sleep 3-4hours before waking up hungry, they should just take his lead and have a 3-4hourly routine rather than 2hours? Is it just me that thinks this is a bit strange? I know from my experience babies that young can sleep and need to sleep for much longer periods than an hour and a half sorta thing. Are they setting themselves up for hardwork when he gets a little older and more alert and expects milk every 2hours?

When they're waking him he doesn't seem particularly eager to have his bottle and he never finishes them - but surely this is because he's just not hungry again yet?

Now I know I've always hated people "sticking their noses in" and offering unwanted advice, so should I bother saying anything? I'm so tempted to just throw in something like "perhaps if you woke him after 3-4hours he might take more of his bottle?" but don't want to come across as pushy!!

How do you offer friendly advice? should I even bother in this instance? I just feel like they're making hardwork for themselves unnecissarily so I might be able to help.....

any oppinions welcome (i may well just be being a nosey aunty!) xxx


  • when i had my little girl i was told i had to wake her 2 hourly for a feed as she had some jaundice. might it be something like this?
  • Hi

    It there is no reason for it. Then yes i would definitely say something, most lo's can go at least 3hours if not 4, therefore they are just making extra work! I would say what you suggested.

  • I was told to wake my baby for a feed every two hours to begin with (this was bf though) for 2 reasons, firstly to increase supply (obviously not an issue if ff) and secondly to differentiate night from day. By all means offer your advice but I had so many people telling me so many different things I ended up totally baffled x
  • I had to feed my DS 2-hourly as he had low blood sugars. It's often also recommended if baby is a bit jaundiced, iis low birthweight or seemed sleepy and didn't wake naturally for feeds under teh observation of the postnatal ward staff. So it might be that they've been told to do this.

    As it's not strictly harmful to be doing it, I'd probably leave well alone. Baby will settle into a better routine when it's older anyway and teh MW/HV will be able to advise.
  • Say something like, 'oh I remember the 2hrly feeds, it was so tiring, you guys are doing so well to keep it up. Soon you'll be able to drop down to 3-4 hrly feeds, and he'll get a bigger feed less often. You'll all be able to get more sleep then' That way you are not telling them what to do, just planting an idea!!
  • i was also told to wake my baby up every 2 hours as she had low blood sugar levels and we continued this for at least the first couple of weeks, I wouldnt say they are setting themselves up as my DD can now go 4 hours.
    What was baby's weight? DD was a low birth weight and I was told it was important to wake her up as hungry babies in the beginning will often sleep more and not wake up for feeds x
  • I was also told told to wake my soon every two hours for a feed due to blood sugar levels and slight jaundice. If I'm perfectly honest I'd leave them to it, I know if another mother had told me what I was doing was wrong then it would have left me very confused! Xx
  • I also was advised to wake my LO for two hourly feeds due to jaundice. Perhaps you should ask if they've been told to wake him every two hours for a reason first.
  • I thought it was usual for LO's to feed 2hrly when they're so tiny?? Their stomaches are really small so little and often was my mw/hv's mantra. Sara fed 2hrly for about a month.

    I wouldn't worry about it, they'll figure it out soon enough and realise that (unless for medical reasons obviously) you never wake a sleeping baby!!!

  • I wouldn't say anything - as someone else said everyone's got an opinion on how to bring up a baby and in their situation I would probably not appreciate more advice unless I'd asked for it. Obv you want to be helpful & save them work, but if they're anything like me they'll nod and smile and do things their own way anyway, if they're happy with what they're doing!
  • I'm another who was told to wake lo to start with. He was a bit jaundiced to start off, so it was recommended to clear his system. I don't actually see the problem - newborns tend to feed often because it takes them so long and their tummies aren't very big, and I know my son would've slept a lot longer than 4 hours in the daytime at first. He just didn't seem to wake because he was hungry, but then he'd scream and scream when he did because he was over-hungry, iyswim!
  • my lo never slept AT ALL when he was first born, unless on the actual boob and it was hard to tell if he was awake or asleep??!!! he was bf though but my point is although he was an awful sleeper he is great now (6 months) does 2 naps of 1 to 1 and a half hours) a day and sleeps 730 to 7am so it'll come in time and I don't think they will undo a potentially good sleeper, honestly if it was me I'd leave it alone, bar the suggestion that some one else made about 'planting' the idea, that's quite good!
  • Personally, as long as he is happy and healthy, then I would keep my nose out, unless they asked my opinion, or mentioned that they were struggling, after all - you don't know that you are right or that your way is any better than theirs - it's just a different approach.

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions