hi ladies, i really need some support right now please xx

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  • I don't mean to sound harsh, but any man that does that to you is not worth loving. You have to value yourself more than to put yourself back in that situation, and definitely think of your children. It can't be good or healthy for them to be in that environment, or around a violent man-whether he is their father or not.

    If he's said it won't happen again before, it's obvious he doesn't mean it. Unfortunately, men like that rarely change. Be strong & walk away, before your children are old enough to understand what's going on xx
  • Oh, hun! I am so sorry. I haven't been through what you are going through but I used to work at a women's refuge and you are absolutely 100% doing the right thing in taking the kids and leaving him. It is incredibly hard but it is the best thing for them and you. However much you love him, you don't want them growing up in an atmosphere of violence. Not only could it turn on them (however much he promises it won't), it will definitely affect them, teaching them that violence is a way handle problems and making them more likely to become victims themselves. Stay strong - you are doing what is best for you and the children right now and no one can ask any more of you. Take care of yourself as well as them. You are a strong woman and an amazing mum and you don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody.

    Please feel free to e-mail me if you need to vent to someone. I'm always happy to lend an ear.

    Lots of love and hugs to all three of you. x
  • Jesus hun, you did the right thing, not just for yourself but for your kids.

    It took my mum 18 years to leave my Dad, he used to beat her and he raped her, he always said it wouldn't happen again but it did and as we got older he turned on us too.

    I know it must be hard and I can't give any advice other than to say that being a child from a violent home I would always put my kids first, sometimes love just isn't enough but i'm sorry for your pain x
  • u've definately done the right thing for u and ur children. my dad regularly beat my mum and seh never left him, he left her for another woman in the end! once my borther and sister were in their teens (8yrs older than me) he also turned on them too, and no doubt had he still been around when i was in my teenage years i would have had the brunt of it too. he alsways promised to never do ti again, but the slightest thing would set him off, ie dinner being 5 minutes later than she said it would, she even got mugged once and lost a ??100 and he beat her up for that! it's completely scarred my childhood years, even though he never hit me, i had to watch it all going on, and hear it. boys brought up in violent homes are more likely to become abusive themselves and girls ar emore liekly to seek out a violent partner, so ur definatemy sparing ur kids from that. very well doen u for having the strength to say enough is enough! i know it takes a lot to do that, so u should be proud of urself, even to this day (they split 15years ago) she still says how most of the tiem he was so lovely, amazing how even now he's still got such a hold over her!
    take care of urself and ur kiddies xxx
  • hiya, You've done the hardest bit in leaving, i understand you love him, he's the father to your children and you shouldn't have to have gone through this and male these decisions but he's made you,any of you.. I hope you have support from friends and family,it will get easyer to be without him and ultimatly you know you've done the right thing for all of you,well done.
  • deffo done the right thing when my mum and dad split up ahe left for a man who wa violent very quickly, thankfully we had stayed with my dad but even though we were a lot older (16 and I was 19) it affected us in a terrible way, it was awful as it also really damaged the relationship with our mother and I know without a doubt had we loved with her we would have been subject to violence as we were and didn;t even live with her!!! I'll never forget it and even today cant sit in the house without the door locked 'just in case' thankfully she wised up and he ended up in jail (she volunteers for womans aid too now as the helped her!!!)

    Honestly your kids are better off I never ever thought our perfectly normal family would end up the way it did but these things happen, im not sure wether you have boys or girls but the other thing is too you dont want your sons to grow up thinking it ok to beat women and you also dont want daughters to grow up thinking it is ok to be beaten, you are very strong fro leaving as I know how hard and frightening this is so good for you chick xx
  • I'm really sorry to hear your story. Please do go back to him. My mum was in a violent relationship when I was 15 and my sister was only 6. It really did impact us both...so think of your children. My sister turned into a self harmer and slashed her wrists on her 18th birthday. (She is okay now though) and I have never been able to sleep through the night as I spent so many night sleeping outside my mum's door to protect her from another violent beating (and I'm now 32).

    Once a beater always a beater. And to top it all off - it normally takes 37 incidents before a woman leaves. Please have the strength to keep him at arms length...and DO NOT let him convince you that it was in any way your fault.
  • Hi hun, you have definately done the right thing, they always say the same. My mum was killed by her partner 4 years ago and it was hell on earth when she was alive, when she was with him and in a constant cycle of splitting up and getting back together while he promised ''never again''!!

    2 women die every week at the hands of their partner or husband many of them are mums!!!

    Its is the hardest thing to leave but I beg you not to put your children through it - speaking from experience its left me with scars so deep.

    xxxxx
  • Oh hun you have done the right thing, the other girls are right. You and your children are the most important things and you need to stay away from him, please dont go back to him because he will not change no matter how much he says he will xxx

    MummyR2B I am so sorry about your mum, what an awful thing to happen I hope your mum's partner is safely behind bars where he belongs xxxx
  • Thankyou Rosapenny - no he isn't he got off on a technicality like a lot of these men do it tends to look like an accident, with my mum they couldnt prove he pushed her over her falling!!! even after he has been locked up for beating her previously and has a record for violent crimes!!!. He has a new punch bag who has small children unfortunately.

    xxxxx
  • Thats so sad, it makes me so angry when you hear these stories and our justice system is usless for protecting women!! I hope he manages to get locked up before this next woman has the same circumstances xxx
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