would you let your childminder breastfeed your baby?

i'm quite curious as to what you all think,

i was reading an article about a lady who BF her older child and went on to say how she is a childminder and one time when a baby was distressed she rang the mother to ask if it was ok to BF her to calm her down, the mother did say yes. she then said after that she asked every mum she minded for and only one said no so she regaulry feeds them all.

i find it strange that any mum would be ok with this, not beacuse i think its discusting but beacuse it creates such a closeness between mother nad baby and wouldnt want another woman having this with my baby, i'm not sure i would even be happy with her using EBM in a bottle? esp not if my baby was BF by me?

so what would you do if youe childmider aked you?


  • I personnally wouldn't want anyone else to bf my baby. But apparently there is a market for selling breast milk. I'm pretty sure some hospitals buy it (or it is donated) for poorly babies when their mothers are unable to express as in those cases the benefits of breast milk can be so important to a tiny sick baby. But I read in a magazine about some woman who had a really good supply and sold it privately on the internet!image
  • G/C from DIMay,

    I definately would be mortified if another woman breast fed my baby. I think it is a special bond for a mother and child to share.

    I do admire women who donate breast milk to help sick baby's. I feel in those circumstances it is totally different as it not a bonding experience and it also gives poorly LO's the best start if their own mothers can't express.

    Blue Gecko 32+1 x
  • wet nurses are all the rage in LA. it was a common thing to happen for the upper classes at one time. i wouldnt want my baby breastfeeding off someone else, but i can see how it could work. salma hayek breastfed a child in sierra leone last year. http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=6854285&page=1
  • I would say a big NO to another woman bf'ing my baby - because bf'ing was something special between her and me - one of the big advantages for bf'ing for me was the bonding and the fact that only I could do it. But then, I'm a SAHM so that situation wouldn't have arisen.

    Having said that, I think Salma Hayak did a wonderful thing - I wouldn't be against it in principle (just not MY baby....)

  • When Peter was about 6 months old I left him with the mums from my mum and baby group while I went for an interview. I left plenty of EBM for him to be fed but was supposed to be back for his mid-afternoon feed - except that he started to want it before I got back. They jokingly suggested that one of the other bf-ing mums should feed him for me! :lol: She didn't (and didn't want to) and I am quite glad in a way, although I can't quite put my finger on why I would be so uncomfortable about it. I am a big supporter of donating breastmilk (and planned to do so myself except that my supply dried up very quickly). I think it has something to do with knowing exactly what he was getting.

    Calleigh is quite right about wet nurses historically. The first 'breast is best' style campaign for breast-feeding dates from the eighteenth century when upper-class women were encouraged to feed their own children (and generally be more involved in their lives and educations) rather than farm them out to wet nurses.
  • Under no circumstances what so ever on this planet would I ever give permission for another woman (related or not) to put her breast into the mouth of my baby and feed her!!!

    If these women were out working who gave this childminder permission (sorry but I find it hard to believe in the first place that they did!) then wouldn't they have either expressed their OWN milk for the baby for the day and evening?, or the baby would have already been introduced to formula?. so I cant fathom as to why a childminder would need to breast feed someone elses baby? or even offer?! Christ if a childminder ASKED me that, and I said "erm no thank you, give her my own milk that I expressed or the formula please?" i would then be sat there worrying that this woman had over stepped the boundary and was breast feeding MY baby anyway behind my back!!!

    Not on your life nelly!

    It gives me the creeps. Reminds of that film 'hand that rocks the cradle'

    I understand everyone will have their own point of view and opinion. I'm just giving my own personal one. Its basically up to each Mother what they would do. I just know what I'd do.

    I can understand a woman doing it in a country of famine where the babies were going to die unless they were fed by someone willing to 'donate' their own breast milk because the babies own Mother was dead or wasn't able to feed it. But in this country?? no way, not in my house!

  • I'm a bit like THG - I can't put my finger on why but I wouldn't want anyone to! Probably because I can and do feed my baby myself, it's not as though it's like the upper classes used to have a wet nurse to always feed the baby. I agree that the closeness is important, very much so, and I'd be a bit weirded out by someone else doing that. However, I think donating milk is great if you can, I don't have a big enough supply so I haven't but if I could I would! I think it's a really good idea.

    Em x xx
  • I also feel that it is something special between my son and I but my main concern would be health related. Milk donors to hospitals are screened. With a childminder I would know nothng about her health and hygiene. She could be on medication thati would not take if breastfeeding, may have had a lot to drink the night before, may have thrush, etc etc.
  • not a chance would i allow this to happen. I think it is overstepping the mark even asking. I do however agree with ebm being given to other babes partic on prem units where mums milk hasnt come in. Just not for me at all. The thought of another women breastfeeding my child makes me feel a bit icky, like its just not right for me! x
  • I would love to be openminded enough to say I wouldnt mind but no, I couldn't agree to it-unless the circumstance was VERY extreme. I couldn't feed someone elses lo either. It's such an incredibly personal, intimate thing to do-I don't even feel comfortable bottle feeding another baby!
  • If other people want to do it fine - and in cases where there is no alternative it is so lucky that "wet nurses" exist, and that there are milk banks for poorly babies whose mum's can't express or feed.

    However, I PERSONALLY wouldn't be able to stand someone else BFing my baby. I can think of lots of logical reasons such as the ones babybarbarella mentioned (don't know what that person is eating/drinking/taking) but tbh it's much more primal than that. The closest analogy I can think of is that it would be like giving someone else permission to sleep with my husband! Over my dead body.

    C image
  • i know this is a bit o/t but i was wondering how you go about donating milk i didnt know about this but its something i would like to do
  • I wouldnt let a stranger BF any of my kids but if it was someone i was close to like my sister, i probably would be ok with it. Having said that, i dont know how i would feel if it was real rather than just chat. I prob wouldnt have a prob with feeding someone else's child either, as long as it was someone again like my sister, or closest friend.

    It is all a bit odd tho!!

    Gemm x

  • Lol the WHO states: the best food for newborn infants are as follows:
    1.breastmilk from a breast of a mother
    2.breastmilk from a breast of another woman
    3.expressed breastmilk from a mother
    4.expressed breastmilk from a breast of another woman
    5. and the very last -formula!!!!!
  • I wouldn't want anyone else to bf my baby, but I wouldn't have a problem with EBM in a bottle. I guess it takes all sorts to make the world go round though. xxx
  • thankyou for your thoughts

    here are two extracts from the article

    " i was looking after a two month old biy who was crying and wouldnt stop. i called his mother and asked if i could breastfeed him. she was shocked, but i told her there was no harm in it and she agreed."

    "after i offered to do it again so his mum wouldnt have to worry about expressing milk"

    surely he would then refuse his mums milk if he was being BF anyway, or do i watch too much tv? i'm hoping she tried other methods to soothe him like feeding him his mothers milk before BF him, the article doesnt go into that.
  • WHO guidelines states-the best food to feed newborn infants are as follows:
    1.breastmilk from a breast of a mother
    2.breastmilk from a breast of another woman
    3.expressed breastmilk from a mother
    4.expressed breastmilk from another woman
  • sorry if i did a double post babyexpert is playing up
  • I watched a programme on this. All milk donors have to be screened for HIV and hep B & C and another other virus that could be passed on via bodily fluids.

    There is no way i'd put my baby at risk by allowing them to drink a childminders breast milk! I also think bf is a bonding experience too.

    I do think donating milk is a safe and amazing thing to do for sick babies that is properly screened so it is safe x x
  • I don't like the idea of anyone but me breastfeeding my son and at 10.5 months we're nowhere close to stopping but I think if a situation arose where there was no other option I would happily feed someone elses baby x
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