Breast vs Formula. Hubby & I disagree....argggh!

Olivia is now 5 weeks old and until she was 3.5 weeks I old I exclusively breast fed but really didnt enjoy it as she was always on me and it was getting me down so I tried formula about 10 days ago. To begin with it was once a day but as the days have gone on ive gradually moved from once a day, to all day with breast at night to all day with just one breast in the day but my hubby isnt happy at all and im sat here crying because I just dont want to breast feed anymore as its just not me but he thinks I should and its making me feel very guilty and now I just dont know what to do.

Olivia started off really well and was doing every 3 hours through the night but she then started to wake every 2 hours and it wasnt him having to deal with her it was me and it was even worse during the day as it was almost every hour. I couldnt do anything. I tried expressing but she still wanted to finish off on me and I just couldnt see how I would ever get 'me' back. Since moving her pretty much totally to formula she has settled into a nice 3 hour routine and is much calmer and happier and of course so am I and im reluctant to give that up but I dont hubby hating me for giving up the breast feeding. My friend has a formula fed baby who is much bigger than most his age and hubby is worried she will be big too and now I am too. I feel like ive failed my baby but then the breast feeding was getting me down. Im just so confused!



  • Right, I am a firm beliver in bfing but if you and your lo are happier with formula then you should give her formula. It's not up to your oh, it isn't him feeding her, and while he is allowed an opinion it's not fair for him to railroad you into doing something that makes you unhappy. Formula will only make her fat if you force her to drink more than she wants, also bfed babies aren't all skinny. Both mine are bfed, my first is a rake, but my little lad is huge, 91st centile, and he's never had as much as a drop of formula. Babies end up the size they are supposed to be so your lo will only be big if she was going to be anyway. You have to do what makes you happy, your baby doesn't want a miserable mum.
    Big hugs hun.
  • Thanks Girls! I feel much better now (a few hours sleep helped!).

    I felt guilty enough to breast feed last night and she was a right pickle going back to every 2 hours and now my nice 3 hour routine is out of sync! Im going to have to trick her at some point today to get it back on track because the times were perfect for bed time & getting up time (7, 10, 1 & 4). Im going to have a chat with hubby tonight and perhaps agree to one breast feed during the day but finish it with a bottle to fill her up to last her 3 hours (i tried this in the night but she was too sleepy to manage both types of sucking!!) and when she is 8 weeks old give up completely. This way he gets his way a little longer, she gets a little bit of the good stuff each day for 3 more weeks but its not totally draining on me and I can see the end to it. Also 8 weeks seems like a nice round number to stop at!! Im also tempted to leave her with him for a whole day & even encourage him to take her out so he can see how annoying it is having to think about feeding times etc and of course he will only have to deal with the bottle & 3 hourly feeds not whenever she wants it on my breast with no routine to her feeds (if that makes sense!).


  • I'm pro-breastfeeding too, and I completely agree with Bedhead, it's only best for baby if it's best for mummy too. Of course your hubby is entitled to an opinion, and it would be nice to have his support, but ultimately it's your decision - I'm not sure many men would breastfeed if they could! She needs a happy mummy and you are happier with her on formula, then that's the right thing to do - you've already given her a brilliant start. If you can keep up one breastfeed she'll still be getting some of the benefits, but if you choose not to, there's nothing wrong with formula.

    She won't be big just becuase she's on formula unless you over-feed her - some babies are just meant to be bigger than others!
  • Hunny, you have to do what you are happy with, and if thats FF then i'm afraid your OH will just have to get used to it. Tell him he gets a say in how she's fed when he starts producing the milk!! If you still want her to get a little breastmilk you could always express and give her the milk in a bottle. But only if you want to! xxx
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