ungrateful rant coming up.

I have an brilliant relationship with my parents, in my last few weeks of pregnancy I was at theirs almost everyday while hubby was at work.
Since ds was born I still go to theirs 2/3 times a week. They are looking after ds in a few weeks while hubby and I are away for the weekend.
He is their first grandchild so they have gone mad on toys and things for him but I'm getting really annoyed that everything we buy him the buy something similar to keep at theirs.

Before he was born a friend gave us a bottle steriliser, bouncer, travel cot and moses basket which we had already got so we gave them to mum to keep at theirs, we brought him a playarch which he loves so we gave them his old playgym so he had something to play with when he is there. That seems to have opened the flood gates. We have brought him a inflatable doughnut thing, a walker and a fisherprice rainforest open top swing (which he will of grown out of in the next few months). Yesterday mum phoned to say she had brought him a inflatable doughnut to keep at hers.

That was fine, then today she asked if we wanted to go with her to collect a walker she had brought. Sure I thought getting abit annoyed. And then when we got there as a "suprise" she has also brought a huge fisherprice rainforest swing to keep at hers. When we got home she commented to my dad that she thinks she has a replica of everything we have now.

I know I'm being ungrateful but its really starting to annoy me. I guess they can use it for the future granchildren too but I feel really flat and down about it.


  • i totally understand this rant hun! my mum seems to need to buy everything under the sun for DD as she is her first grandchild too! it's gotten to the point where now before i buy anything my OH makes me ring my mum to see if she has already gotten one i can have.

    i think it's lovely that they want to buy things but i would prefer that they bought different things, or maybe even asked an opinion. the opinion bit especially as my mum insists on buying anything thats a really good offer without ever consulting me and OH (even if its for us to keep at ours!) this especially annoyed us when she went out and bought a walker even though we specifically said we were going to buy a certain one that my OH had fallen in love with. so now it stays at my mums as i told her we wanted a specific one so she would just have to keep it. she's currently doing the same about the fact i want a smart trike...i don't care if asda do one and it's on offer/you get discount or whatever, i want the sodding pink one from ELC and i don't care if it's twice the price thats the one i'm bloody well buying! argh! lol

    sorry that turned into a massive rant there when i only meant to tell you i understood how you felt!
  • I'm a little confused honey...why do down about it? I'm at the opposite end if the scale where my parents have nothing and I have to lug everything to theirs, to the extent that next week I can't take the pram with me cos it just won't fit in the car with everything else I have to take!

    They're probably doing it so LO feels secure and happy at theirs and you don't have to worry about taking anything with you.

    Sorry you're feeling down...it's funny the things that start to annoy you huh?

  • I don't really know why it annoys me the way it does. I love buying things for my little man and seeing his little face light up. I should consider myself lucky I supose
  • i think it's just the fact it feels like you never get to pick or buy things if you feel the way i do hun?

    like you say you do appreciate it, it just gets to be a little bit much when it's everything under the sun they buy xx
  • Oh bless you! You might have to start hiding things you buy from them! Bet when my parents start buying stuff I'll be just like you!

    Hugs xxx
  • I'm similar in that we have two of everything and my mum has bought loads of it (which I am so grateful for otherwise I would have bought it anyway). We spend a lot of time and my parents and it's great that my LO has all the home comforts there and it means I can go around now with just a changing bag although to be honest I don't even really need to take that now! x
  • I think it's really lovely of your parents to do this-I've got nothing at my mum and dads and have to pack up half the house when we visit-lo has some toys there but they're the ones I've left behind as it was getting ridiculous having to cart everything. I wish my parents were more considerate, it wouldn't cost them a fortune to just have a cheap highchair etc, it's not so bad now that lo's 16 months but it was a huge hassle when he was older.

    Sounds like your patents are at the other end of the spectrum! Xx
  • Hi lovey
    I know what you mean but at the same time I think your mum and dad are just enjoying their first grandchild as most parents do! It's great Riley has all of his things and will feel so comfy at their house, especially if you spend a lot of time over there.
    I'm going to my mum's house next week for a month (we live abroad as you know) and she's literally bought everything again so we don't have to take anything but ourselves. I felt a bit funny about it at first mainily because I don't want her spending my inheritance (joke!). No, but I did feel funny about her spending so much cash until one day she said that it's her money and if she can't spoil her now when she's too little to become a brat, when can she? Just try to think of it like that and thank god you don't have to trail things around!
    Hope you feel better and more upbeat soon xxxxxxxxxx
  • Im the same as p.bob and renri. My mum and stepmum have the boys on different days of the week when im at work and they have nothing! We have to lug everything with us twice a week and its a pain, especially when you are lugging 2 of everything. I have just bought 2 portable highchairs, otherwise I would have to buy 4 (2 for each house) ready for when I go back to school after the summer. I know my parents dont have lots of money so I dont really mind, but I do think they would find it easier if they had a few things to hand. I have taken my mum over 2 bouncy chairs and some toys, and we'll have 2 buy 2 more carseats ready for Sept as the boys are in their new ones now and I want them to stay in my car as theyre too heavy to pass between 4 cars each week.

    Im not belittling your rant at all, everyone has a right to speak and if you feel this way then nothing anyone can say will make a difference. Hope you feel better about it all soon xxx
  • its prob because in a way it may feel like they're 'stealing your thunder' in that its your baby so your should have the stuff??

    if it makes you feel any better my mil never comes to ours never phones even when my son had pnuemonia (she did phone) but not once in the 5 weeks when it was bad came to visit (2min max car journey away and doesn't work) my own mother i see about once a week for an hour to 2 hours max during this time she will catch up on phone calls with the boyfriend she has just left or friends, we have a very strained relationship and we are both trying hard but since she left our house with 1st d*ck and then had a breakdown she is not the same person its like she'll do things but only with an audience as in 'look at me im a great granny' like give us ??100 for the christening which was lovely but when her 5 month old grandson is in front of her in his walky and moaning a bit to get up (i was in the kitchen) and ended up coming into the living room and saying 'mum you can lift him' her response was oh I know I was just finishing my cup of tea???!!! WTF i'd love to finish a cup of tea during the day lol its like she has no proper maternal instinct, so while yours may annoy you its better than nothing at all (not a competition lol as i'd prob get annoyed in your shoes too but would be nice for something worhtwhile from either grannys lol)
  • Kayleigh I understand how you feel in a way, my MIL bless her has a big box of toys for Dylan that is brilliant but she buys things that I want to buy as there on offer. But thats the thing I want to buy them, I was sooo excited about buying him his first pair of wellies for winter when he starts to toddle i'd told her specifically that I was and that I was waiting till I knew what size his feet would be. She saw a pair of wellies on sale and bought them and got soooo excited about it, I wanted to cry. Totally irrational but it was my thing and I suppose the things you have bought for Riley are your things and in a way it takes away from the specialness that he has 2?!

    She just loves her grandson, thats what I tell myself when she gets excited and buys him things that I want to get him and i'd never swap her she's an amazing grandma and I think its my issue.

  • my mil nought ds1 a bike for christmas when he was 1 and a half i was gutted a) he was far too young as it was a peroper bike and b) i wanted it to be me and oh who took him to get it, i think 'firsts' are a real stinger too - dylans mummy i bought reece his first raincoat the other day and have to say if some one bought him his first wellies I would be gutted!!! those wee firsts are the wee memories you want to keep so can totally understand I am sooooooooo funny about that sort of thing lol
  • Lol well its something you might have to get used to as annoying as it is my Mum does exactly the same...to the point she has said she will be buying a toilet trainer seat for Lily (25months) so we can continue toilet training when we go there which is sooo silly because its not like the seat we have is huge so can easily be brought with us and we go to my Mum and Dads maybe once every few months!

    On the other hand my MIL is complete opposite and yes she buys loads and loads of toys for the girls but stuff she keeps there is totally different from what we have at home so that they don't get bored with the same stuff and when they go and see Granny and Grandad they can play with the "new" toys that they haven't seen for a while!

    Maybe you could politely suggest that she buys things that are different so that little man doesn't get can enjoy new toys instead of just playing with same ones he has every day at home? Maybe make the point that he will love it as he gets older as he will have lots of exciting "new" toys to play with when he comes to see his Grandparents.
  • I get it. I'm very territorial, if I was a dog I'd have wee'd on LO by now (that's a joke I obviously wouldnt let our actual dog wee anywhere near him either) it feels like the more others buy for him to keep at their houses the more they try and stake their claim. He's mine, I like the fact his favourite toys are in his playroom and they're only here. He lives at our house not anyone else's, I want him to think of home as where his stuff and not confuse him. That probably doesnt make sense but in my head it does.
  • No grizzlechops makes perfect sense image oh and lmao at peeing on lo!

    And moonbeam when I read this thread I told hubby im buying him a rain mac next time im in town before she finds one on offer as its my other thing (I have lots, firsts are doubly important to me I think) he reassured me the wellies she's got are far too big for him and will be for ages so I can still get him his first pair, and you know what they will be full price ones too :lol:
  • i can totally understand (as much as i can) why these would be extra special to you so am sort of annoyed on your behalf lol i got reece in next it's lovely, blue and just goes over the head, i'm on the look out for wellies too so if i see any for wee ones not walking etc yet i'll let you know (in fact im going web shopping now for a wee nosey as think they would be so cute for reece when doing the school run in the rain with his wee coat and wellies even if he catn walk lol
  • oh and you simply must have a first umbrella too!!!! it all goes hand in hand for fun in the rain and the autumn is coming xxx
  • Now I want to go and buy wellies and a properly cute rain mac....
  • Well ladies were planning on going to disneyland for a day when he will be about 11 months sooooooo http://www.disneystore.co.uk/clothing-accessories-mickey-mouse-clubhouse-raincoat/p/27704/300709/ I think it would be rude not too image

  • lmao totally agree its gorge

    lol grizzlwchops

    dylans mum these come with a presentation box ' my first wellies

    http://www.babynotincluded.co.uk/out--about-28-c.asp if you search under the actual maker different sites sell different ones, amazon have wee dinosaur ones with the box too !!

    i went there for my huneynoon (we brought ds1 with us much to my oh delight lol) it was really lovely i'd love to go back again some day x
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