Discipline???

Right - i let Toby do pretty much whatever he wants - if there is something i dont want him to go near then i hide it or put it to a higher level - should i be doing this or should i be making him not go (really not sure this would work!!)

He throughs his sippy cup on the floor - should i be sayting no or should i wait till he is older and can understand.

Toby is 10 months old on Sunday (also our wedding anniversary ahhh) and me and hubby are both soft as butter but need to get this sorted if indeed it does need to be sorted.

Any advice/questions would be fab x

Posts

  • My lo is only 8 months, but I try and let her know what she can/can't have/touch-more due to safety issues. If she's (for example) playing with the radiator, or pulling herself up on something that won't hold her weight, I say no & take her away. If she drops/throws things after she's had them back a couple of times, I don't give her them back.

    Whilst I think that they're too young to understand discipline-as a consequence of their actions, as such, I don't think it does any harm to let them know that there are boundaries etc. I don't think it's necessarily wrong for a baby to hear the word 'no' & understand what it means. xx
  • i would say no and not move everything, what happens when you go to someone elses house, you cant go around moving stuff, its easier in the long run to set boundairys, it says in baby centre that babys know from 6 months what no means and i know with dd1 that i said no and set boundarys and she is a good mannered child now at nearly 3 where-as my nephew is a tearaway at 4 because his mother lets him do what he likes.
  • My little boy is only 5 months, and I say no when he goes after things he's not allowed then take them off of him, I don't say it angrily or in a telling off voice but I think it's good to start early ao they know boundaries
    he doesn't understand yet...well if he does then he's just ignorant lol xx
  • Im the same on the boundaries thing, and Im with honeypops too with what she posted on the safety - it's for their own good (heaters, stairs etc). But if he drops things (like his cup!) more than twice, he doesnt get it back again. I just say "all done".
    But when it's exploration that doesnt really cause harm I just let him go - B has an obsession with our bathroom, particularly pulling the rubber door stop out from beneath the door and sucking on it or poking his fingers down the drain holes in the floor. He keeps doing it over and over so I now just keep the door stop and the drain clean!! Hubby prefers to close the door but I think this is inhibiting his exploration (he just has no patience!) I do draw the line though with the toilet - he pulled himself up on it tonight and licked it. :x Ive also known kids to climb in there so that's a safety thing as well as hygiene so that's a definate UH UH!!
    We arent totally baby proofing our house either, I prefer to teach him right from wrong so that he can apply this to wherever he goes - the majority of other places wont be baby proofed!
  • I agree, Say no, the sooner they understand the better. My first I was quite strict and said no, and I can take him anywhere now (he is 10 lol), and even my lo who is nearly 6 months I say no too! Not angrilly, but I think the sooner you start the more chance they might listen to you at some point in the future! xx
  • I haven't really needed to discipline yet as she's only 7 months, but LO has a habit of spitting her water when she's had enough rather than just stopping. So in a stern voice I say no with a serious face (even though I still find it funny when she does it!), she just grins at me, really not what I was going for and although I don't, it makes me want to laugh even more. Last night when daddy was giving her dinner and she spat her water, he said no... she cried!! I clearly need to work on my telling off voice for when she's on the move!!
    I think there needs to be a balance, certain amount of baby proofing, but definitely good to set boundaries and teach good habits.
    xxx
  • I definately agree with the setting of boundries from a young age so that they also know how to behave in other surroundings. I do think though that the word no can be over-used which can then lead to lo ignoring it. We just try and say different things instead of no all the time, like some others have said 'all done' for when they throw the cup on the floor, or we use 'ouchy' for things that might hurt them or for things that just aren't meant to be played with just say something like 'no, thats mummy's and not a toy' and then try and distract them with something else.

    Also how you say it can make a difference, whilst they are babies obviously you aren't saying it in a telling off kind of way but it should be in a sterner, non playful tone of voice.
  • Right, feel free to tell me I'm talking rubbish...

    We're avoiding 'no' as much as we can, because we know Jak's too young to understand it properly and we really don't want it to just become any old word that loses all meaning. I say it for 2 things - when he tries to take his nappy off (through his vest AND trousers now, cheers Jak!) or when he bites. If he goes for something he shouldn't have, I distract him or move him. I don't want him to get a bit older and still hear 'No' but have more capability of getting round it, iyswim? Don't get me wrong - I'm not soft in the slightest, but I don't want him to be drawn to the things he's not allowed to do, I'd rather he focused on what he was allowed to do really.

    God, I sound wishy-washy, sorry!

    Em x
  • Not talking rubbish at all Emily B, the word no can easily become meaningless if over-used. We try to set boundries by using other words or phrases and just use no in a limited way. Although I must admit i do find myself saying it a lot at meal times when she keeps throwing her food on the floor!
  • I feel like a huge softie but i've been avoiding no and using distraction too where possible. OH works shifts and often it's just me and Bing, one day I felt like all I was saying was No and I felt like a mean momma and he was largely ignoring me. So, I tend to move him and distract him instead. OH says no and Bing listens - also need to work on my stern voice I think. x
  • I agree with EmilyB but it's sometimes hard to not say no all the time! When Sam started crawling I found myself saying no at least 100 times a day and it was getting ridiculous - and it meant I was focusing on the negatives. As a teacher I have learnt that you should focus on the positive, so now when Sam tries to pull the tv down (for the 20th time that morning) I try to distract him with a new toy or song. If he goes along with it I try to shower him with praise. I still use no, but only for big or dangerous things. When I'm knackered all this goes out of the window and I say no. :lol: Good luck whatever you choose to do! x



    [Modified by: coco25 on September 03, 2010 11:10 PM]

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