Just Need A Moan...Sorry

i feel like everything is perfect with me, OH and JJ but everything else seems to be going wrong and getting on my nerves!

at 9pm last night OH was just about to put JJ to bed and i'd just got out the shower and put my pj's on...MIL phoned to say she was on her way round!!! this happens all the time with his family and i've just had enough...his dad phoned late the other night and said "are u going to open the door then" he was at the front door!! arghhhhh i just can't take it anymore, OH works long hours 5 days a week, i don't even see him at weekends so when he has his 2 days off i just wanna spend time with him and JJ but we always end up with his family round at lunch time and they don't go home til after JJ has gone to bed, all they do is make him cry when they're here!!

i'm due to go back to work in 6 weeks and i REALLY don't want to, it's 100% the best thing to do cuz i've been offered a promotion and after training i'll be earning ??30k a year so i know i have to think of the future but i just don't wanna leave JJ...i cried yesterday cuz we have this perfect little morning routine that i love cuz he's so smiley and happy eating his porridge and i know we won't have that when i go back to work cuz he'll fit in with what OH thinks is best, it's gunna kill me leaving home every morning :cry:

we're not getting married for a while after all the problems we had with families etc and i'm sorry for everyone that's excited planning their weddings but i just can't be happy for you because i'm so jealous :cry: i don't want anything big or special, all i want is OHs surname so i can feel part of this family, it just seems like too much to ask (im crying as i write this)! doesn't help that OHs mum is currently sorting her wedding out, it's in a few weeks and she seems adamant that JJ will be there all day...she's expecting him to be dragged around on a bus, have rushed feeds and random sleeps and still be in a great mood for the evening, i was told by her that i shouldnt let him rule my day and that he has to fit in with what we do...that may be true but most of the guests will be there in the evening and if she wants to play pass the parcel with a baby that hasnt been fed properly or had proper sleeps in his usual surroundings all day then shes going to get a shock!! u wouldnt think she's had twins!!

on the plus side, JJ seems to have had a major development boost this week...he's sitting up more, rolling back to front and then back again round the floor in seconds, i can hardly keep up with him, have stopped bothering to put a blanket or play mat on the floor cuz a few seconds after i've put him down he's rolled to the other side of the room lol...he's eating lumpy food (7 months+ jars) and toast...yesterday started saying baba and dada and this time i know it's not a coincidence cuz when i say it he says it back...really proud of him :\)

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  • aw hun, i'm really sorry to hear this. My parents are bit like your oh's. They appear randomly usually while Zach is having a tantrum or i'm running around like a headless chicken trying to keep the place tidy but they come at reasonable hours and help me out. My in laws live a wee bit away and i get on really well with them so that's not a problem. Maybe you just have to get your oh to drop LOTS of hints that he has his own family now and needs time just with them? Sorry no great advise.

    JJ sounds like he is coming on leaps and bounds! Molly is rolling all over the place but can't sit unaided yet (she can with her chin on the ground :lol: )

    I think it costs about ??90 to get married in a registry office, you should just grab a couple of your mates, get married, have a little celebration and then have a big blessing in the future!? Then at least you would have you oh's name...?

    I hope it all works out for you guys soon, x
  • thanks hun, i've asked OH if he could ask them to give us a little bit of notice, even if its just an hour, i doubt he will though lol!

    i've noticed a huge difference in JJ this week, it's incredible, he seems to know that he's able to do more too cuz he's soooo much happier which i didn't think was even possible cuz he was happy anyway lol!

    i've considered doing the registry office thing but i'd feel really upset not having my mum there, she's like my best friend but at the same time i couldn't just have her there, it's so complicated grrrr families hey!!
  • i know how you feel, i wanted my close family to be at ours and then distant relative had to be invited, people i hardly knew where there. So much family pressure and trying to please everyone. My hubby's family all came and then all our friends, we ended up with about 120 guests, more in the evening and it cost over ??15000(my parents paid for it all, it was expected of them from hubby's side of the family!), looking back it was a fab day but we would probably choose to do it on a smaller scale.

    We have decided to go to Las Vegas for our 10 year anniversary and get married dressed as zombies, or star wars characters or the like. :lol: it will be such a laugh!

    Keep your chin up hun, you are a fab mummy! x

  • I think you def need to explain to oh that his family need to give notice that they are coming round, and not to be offended if you say no! We do this with everyone and in laws werent very happy about it but they have got used to it. Tell oh you are going to tell your family the same then he wont feel you are criticising his family. I think time alone will be doubly important when you are back at work so try to get it sorted now.

    As for the wedding thing why not tell everyone you are getting married in registry office then going pub afterwards for a few drinks. Just close family and friends. If they wanna come good, if not its their loss. You need to put your foot down. You are a grown up now with a family of your own and you need to make everyone see that.

    Hope you feel better soon and glad JJ is coming along really well.
  • Great to hear that your lil' man is doing well. He'll be walking before Charlotte does!!!
    Think you need to set some ground rules with the family. That's not fair to just come round like that at that time.
  • To save money on your wedding....maybe it could be a double wedding with JJ & Charlotte. You'd only have to wait another 16 years...........giving you plenty of time to save up - lol!!!!!!
  • To save money on your wedding....maybe it could be a double wedding with JJ & Charlotte. You'd only have to wait another 16 years...........giving you plenty of time to save up - lol!!!!!!

    love it!! hehe :lol: x
  • ahem ccbmommy id just like to let u know that sophia is marrying jj :lol: :lol: ...just kidding ....im, sorry to hear u are feeling like this ,im feeling down about family at the mo too ,my mum has just moved to be closer to us but hasnt really bee here to see the kids and i dont like going there cos she smokes in the house :roll: and now my nanna thinks i dont like her cos i dont go there either for the same reason :roll: ....keep ure chin up hun i would just tell them outright that they have to give u notice and that u want them to not stay all day .... but then im a bit rude sometimes image ....i know what u mean about the name thing i feel the same a bit cos now we have 2 kids i feel like were a proper family but im left out ,especially as the other day jack was saying all their full names and he said mine the same and i had to correct him :cry: ............then sometimes i quite like not having the same name as my evil mil and sil :lol: .........xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I recommend the registry office/pub idea! That's what my mum and step dad did and they don't regret it 19 years later!

    We planned a wedding for about 50 close friends and family only, then fell pregnant so told everyone it was cancelled. On the day it was supposed to be, we invited 20 people for a meal as we were leaving the area, but secretly they walked in to find us getting married! Everyone was so pleased that we were doing it that no one was annoyed at being left out, even those we couldn't invite, and I had the most perfect day just chilling with my favourite people who I could speak to without moving from my seat (was 33 weeks preg so wasn't moving anywhere lol)

    And also think Kirsty's idea about telling both families is a great way to keep the peace while getting your point across!
  • hun it's ok, i'm just a miserable cow :lol:

    have replied to you on fb x
  • omg!!! this is like de-ja-vu i had this with my in laws wen i had our 1st child! in the end it was affecting myn an my oh relashionship! u need to sit down wiv ur oh an explain how u feel an ask him to ave aword an even ave a cut off time i did an i felt like a wright bitch but its no longer bout thm its u 3 an u 3s lilttle family unit with in time wen they get use to it no an then agree to them comin round ov a nite as long as its not all the time an now an then make sure jj is in bed so they can get use to the fact that u arnt puttin ur baby out 4 other people a the same goes 4 the weddin u do wots rite 4 jj an just take his pram an blankets teddys ect so he can sleep durin the day an just say that u dont wont people holdin him all the time cuz his soft baby skin will get sore! u no wots rite 4 ur family hun u just ave to get the nervs to stand up 4 urself an jj.
    with in time people will 4 give the strict rules an relise its aboyt u 3 an not thm!
    hope i was abit ov help 4 u

    sam jess an max xxxx
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