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Private school...would you?

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  • Gabe won't be going to private school. I want him to do extra curricular activities as well like football, swimming, he's 2 and already loves both of these, if he went to private school we couldnt afford it (not that we could afford private school anyway).
    I guess my issue with private school apart from the price is I dont want ds to be too 'posh', we live in a ex council neighbourhood and if he went to a private school i dont think he'd be friends with the local kids (and I want him to be).
    I went to state schools and they weren't great but that's life! I know nothing about private schools but at the local grammar when I was a kid the pupils there had to wear posh uniforms, and if they were caught smoking on site they were expelled! Kids were in school from 7am-5pm sometimes.
    xxx
  • Hmmm.... this really is a tough one.

    I'm opposed to private education in principle. I believe that good education should be a right for all children, irrespective of whether their parents have money or not. However I appreciate that in real life that is a pretty idealised view to hold, and our society does not meet that ideal.

    I do want my daughter to have the best start in life, and the schools where we live are not great. We are hoping to move to an area with better schools, and with the possibility of grammar school before she reaches school age. If we haven't we would consider all the options, and that might include private education. But I'd rather save the money for her to use for university or to put towards a deposit on a house. And I certainly don't want to have to work all hours to pay for her education, if it would mean that she'd miss out on valuable time with me.

    Both my hubby and I are from working class families and went to state comprehensive schools. Both of us went to good universities and we are now both lawyers. Yes, we probably had to work harder than some who had a private education but it hasn't done us any harm.

    You do have to be very careful when choosing a private school though, as some are not as good as the better state schools. My sister in law sent her daughter to a private school, but moved her to a state school when they moved house. At the first parents' evening they said to her "she's a bit behind in English and Maths, but don't worry, she'll catch up". They were pretty cheesed off that they'd paid all that money!
  • G/C here! Cent, i'm in same line of work as you and I had the same experience at college of law, it was very clear who the public schoolers were as they didn't want anything to do with the likes of us! As it stands we all got training contracts and many of them didn't so their parents must have been very disappointed!

    I think there are good and bad in every sector. What annoys the hell out of me is that all of the school round by me are all religious schools, which I object to massively considering I have no religious and wouldn't want my child being taught catholicism/coe as if it was "the right religion". I would rather send my child to a private independant school rather than a religious one! x

    Hi Mafia Princess,

    I have to say, from my year at uni some of the most successful lawyers have been come from state education, although maybe I just think that because they tend to be my chums image

    Your post made me smile, because I think part of the reason that I'm so confident in state education is that, as a Catholic, my children will go to Catholic schools (which often do very well against their comparators). Isn't it funny how we are all alike in some ways and different in others! :\)

  • I personally see no need for private education. As Mrs Bear said good education should be available for all. Money or no money none of my children will be going to a private school. I went to a good school and have done well for myself, my husband went to one of the worst schools in our borough and has done well for himself also. I think whether or not you do well in education can depend on the child as well as the school, I also want my child to grow up with friends who she has things in common with and who live close by. Although if all the other parents are struggling to send their child to private school maybe we would have a lot in common. I would also like her to move on from primary school to secondary with her friends.

    The schools near us arent brilliant but who knows what they will be like in 9 years time, or we may have moved by then.
  • As a primary school teacher I would say that it depends very much on your area, but if there is a good or outstanding primary school (check Ofsted reports) I would prefer to send my child to a state primary and then private secondary if there isn't a well-performing grammar school as an alternative. Two reasons really- firstly, if your circumstances change and you're unable to afford prep school fees any longer it's difficult to pull a child out of a private school and change to state becuase by then they're used to small classes and more attention, being pushed harder etc. Also I think children benefit more from secondary private education as long as they've had a thorough grounding and lots of parental support in their primary years. Remember there's university after that and it's an expensive business! x
  • Hubby was born Catholic and my in-laws are all about the Catholic schools! My SIL had her son christened to get him into catholic school which I am opposed to as I wouldn't want to lie to get my child into school when i'm clearly not religious and i think it's sad you actually have to in this day and age!

    Littlewolf- I was also opposed to private healthcare until I realised I had fertility issues and discovered the only way you seem to get treated before the menopause is by going private! x x
  • as a teacher, if i could afford the fees, i would in a heartbeat. we could afford the ??8k a year for one child for the grammar school near me, which is very reasonable, but not two. instead we are looking to move to the catchment area of a non-fee paying grammar school, which is also the same catchment area as an excellent rc school too.
  • as a teacher, if i could afford the fees, i would in a heartbeat. we could afford the ??8k a year for one child for the grammar school near me, which is very reasonable, but not two. instead we are looking to move to the catchment area of a non-fee paying grammar school, which is also the same catchment area as an excellent rc school too.
  • I wouldn't unless the schools near us were not good. I went to a private secondary school, it was a boarding school, my dad was in the RAF so we moved a lot so it meant that we could have a more consistent education. Unfortunately even though it was private it was not a particularly good school, I got decent enough results but I think if I had gone to a state school I would have done better.

    In my experience private schools don't always have to be snobby privaleged places though, there was a very wide mix of people at my school from all backgrounds.
  • No. Mainly as hubby is so against it its not even an option. Plus we couldn't afford it.

    I have no issues with private schools my mums best friends son went to one he is one of those grounded ones though, he was just lucky enough to be an only child meaning his parents could afford it. But I want Dylan to mix with people from all walks of life and get a well rounded view of the world and the people that fill it!

    xx

    ditto x
  • sadly, good education isnt available to all abnd it naive to think it is. however, an intelligent child will do well anywhere, but perhaps not as well as they would do at a private school. it is those children of average, or below average ability that would do much better in private education. in schools, time, money and effort goes into getting D grade pupils up to a C, E, F,G pupils will be ignored as they wont help the schools points.
  • I think there's something to be said for going to the local school and therefore having local friends to go and play with, aside of course from the educational issues, but this is important when you're a kid!
  • i think some children will do well anywhere and some will not do so well anywhere.

    as a primary teacher, with a decent level of education myself, i feel confident enough in mine and husbands ability to keep track of and guide my LOs progress through school. i wouldn't send her to a private school any more than i would go and work in one.

    In terms of the quality of teaching in Private Ed, I WOULDN'T assume it is better without investigation... i know 2 teachers who have gone over to private from the state sector... 1 was an AMAZING teacher 3 successive Outstanding ofsted and a local authority Advanced Skills Teacher... and the other was spectacularly inadequate and frankly couldn't cope with a class of 30 children... either behaviourally or in terms of adding value to their education, and was almost on the verge of competency procedures... Both now teaching in private schools.... pot luck i guess!!
  • i went to a private vocational school when i was 11 - 19 and LOVED IT so for me it was great but - i dont have many friends from school as we all came from different areas of the world.

    I would like to send toby to state schools but if he was struggling and i couldnt help him then i would pay for a few extra classes. I like the idea of inviting friends back to the house making friends for life - all the social skills that come from schooling locally.

    I lvoe the fact that my brothers amazing friends are from school - (the 5 amigoss abd they have their number tattooed on them) they help each other out through thick and thin and 3 of them relocated when my brothers engagement ended - found new jobs and moved into his house when he was really struggling. I would like to think of toby having frineds like this too.
  • it it simply not true to say your children will mix with children from all walks of life in a comp. they will mix with children with similar lifestyles / outlooks / behavious / intelligence to their own. birds of a feather and all that. more so in secondary school. most schools set children according to ability (and some behaviour) so they will mix with children of a similar level of intelligence to themselves and are more likely to have friends on leaving school with similar jobs / roles / outlooks in life. i was in the top sets at school and most of my friends are professionals, holiday abroad, are 2 car families etc. my sister was in the bottom sets at school and her friends all left school at 16 with no qualifications and have low paying jobs, if they have jobs at all. some are currently claiming everything they can for "disabilities," not having worked for months. most had children very young too. none of my friends have this lifestyle and vice versa.

    my husband went to the fee paying grammar school and still has the same group of friends. the current lifestyles of his friends from the private school vary much more than mine, as we were set for everything so did not mix at school.

    all children at a comp do not get the same treatment or opportunities.

    [Modified by: Calleigh on September 01, 2010 09:08 PM]

  • as a teacher, if i could afford the fees, i would in a heartbeat. we could afford the ??8k a year for one child for the grammar school near me, which is very reasonable, but not two. instead we are looking to move to the catchment area of a non-fee paying grammar school, which is also the same catchment area as an excellent rc school too.

    Calleigh im not sure if im on the right lines here but if your talking about the grammer school for children 11-18 then if i lived there still i would do everything to try and ensure j&s went there and passed there 11& exam ....i took that exam but failed and went to the other high school in that town ....now i had some very succesful peirs but i had no interest and i dont think some of my teachers did either ....my stepdad was gutted when i failed the test cos he went to the grammer school and badly wanted us to go there .. x
  • aerosmith i know. i wouldnt bother with private education for primary unless i got 6 numbers this weekend! my hubby did the 11+ and passed and it does make a difference on application forms. it seems to be, near me anyway, that you are unlikely to get a job teaching in the private school if you didnt have the red brick education yourself. ive tried as you get discount on the fees! yet i know a girl who did have a private education and durham uni grad who teaches in a private school and does not even have a qualification in teaching. i am lucky with the choice of schools where i live at the moment, although a change of headteacher can change a school so quickly. my hubby dropped out of uni and it has taken him years to get into a decent job. the year he married me in factimage i personally dont know why his mother and father, who were lecturers themselves, didnt guide him more. they just left him to it. i knew before dd was even conceived that i wouldnt be that type of parent. my hubby has always said at parents evening he will do the talking!

    so which school a child attends makes a difference to some children, but upbringin and parental imput, or lack of it, does as well.

    at the school i work at the staff turnover is appalling. almost whole departemtns can chnage in a year. at the good school i would like my child to go to, jobs never come up!!! and i check weekly. staff dont leave good schools unless it's to get promoted.

    so if you want to get to know what a school is really like, check out the tes website for jobs in the first half of the summer term. if there are lots of jobs in a particular school, think carefully!
  • The implication that all private school children are the same in that they are competitive, rich, rah, spoilt etc is really rude, and anyone who makes such a statement is just showing how ignorant of the matter they are! And the suggestion that privately educated children have no idea of the "real world" and don't get to "mix with a range of people" is similarly very naive.
  • i think if we were in a different tier of society then i wouldnt question it, its not just about the money for me but about weather my child would be accepted by others of higher upbringings, i would rather my child be happy in a ok school than unhappy in a private school
  • calleigh do u work in a primary or high school?? just wondering image
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