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Am i being a B****

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  • Thanks for your replies there is some good advice thanks.

    I don't think i mean to be criticising how much love she has for him and obviously lo is lucky to have that relationship which i think he needs. It's just that i think there is a line not to be crossed. Obviously it's hard to write down exactly what it's like but i know i'm not the only one who has noticed. My bil's girlfriend said something to me the other day about it too and i didn't even prompt her or mention anything about it.

    Yes she is entitled to spend time with LO and i'm lucky she is looking after lo but i'm still his mummy x
  • I've had this experience with my fil. He used to take ol off me all the time without asking. I've learnt how to deal with it in a very good way which I'm sure you can use! Just talk to your baby! Say things like 'I think you want a feed now, don't you little one?' and go and pick them up! Or say 'Aww look, you're tired, come on lets put you down for a sleep'. Honestly, it really works because there is no arguing, you're just talking to your baby! Be forceful and don't be afraid to say what you think is best - YOU'RE THE MOTHER!

    As for the other things... I know it's weird but they are just really proud. It will fade - honestly. Then comes the question 'when are you having another?'!!!!!!!

    HTH.

    Gemma and Noah - 10months
  • G/C I used to think the same about my MIL but having seen 1st hand how she and my FIL look after my nephew 5 days a week i've had a bit of a U-turn. It's very different to you and my PIL carry on my nephews routine even though they don't agree with it as is very strict and doesn't make their life any easier.

    They get very little thanks and in fact get criticism and it's their fault if anything goes wrong. They save my SIL thousand sof punds a year in nursery fees which they spend on their famil;y. My PIL wouldn't have it any other way but not something I could do.

    They work very hard to look after an active little boy which they don't have to. He wouldn't get the same level of one to one love and care as they give him.

    I can understand hopw things must grate on you when you are faced with it all the time but perhaps when you're at work it won't bother you as much? Perhaps if it does you could have a re-think about childcare as the last thing you need is being stressed about lo when you're at work x x
  • I had similar about my FIL before I went back to work. He has my boys 2 days a week 8-2 (I work 6-2 and hubby 8.30-5). He was always picking ds2 up and never letting him play. However ds2 is so strong willed that he would arch his back and scream, so I think FIL learned!

    I've been back at work 2m now (ds2 is 10m ds1 is 2 years 9m). I wrote out their rough routine and oinned it to the fridge so FIL knew when they would expect food, nappy changes, naps etc. I make a pack up for them both, so he doesn't have to make them lunch. I know what they have had then! (I had an incident when ds1 was 20m I had sickness bug, hubby was away, so FIL looked after lo. He fed him a dinner of his left over lunch that had sat on side in kitchen all afternoon! Hence the pack ups!) It has worked fine, until now.

    DS2 is changing his nap routine and it doesn't fit with FIL taking boys to his mothers house (she is another story OMG!!!) for lunch. DS2 ends up with no morning nap and is so opver tiored only sleeps 1 hour in afternoon. I then come home and he is grumpy as hell. On Monday he spent from 2.30pm until 5.30pm crying! I can't cope with that! So our solution is to take travel cot to nanna's house, so ds2 can nap in her spare room. Fingers crossed FIL will listen..................... THAT is another matter. He tends not to listen to me, but does listen to hubby! He always gives boys juice, although I specifically asked him not too. AHHHHHHHH you got me started now. Thank goodness my mum has them while I'm at work tomorrow! She's a routine queen, no worries there! lol

    Gone off OP so sorry, don't know if my ranting helped? I may have a few issues, BUT my boys get so excited to see Grandpa, they run to him for cuddles, they have fun with him, they obviously love him, they are well cared for. So I sort of have to pull myself back a bit! Plus I think you do worry more about babies. I'm not as bothered about ds1 being looked after by FIL!!!

    xxx
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