I totally agree about the blues after birth, it came as a shock to me as I only expected to last for a couple of days , but it was well over a week with me crying regularly about nothing! Also that what ever you do you will worry if it is the right thing to do for them! That the first 3 months are really hard and it is ok if they cry a lot, some babies do and that it WILL improve after 3 months! I just love being a mummy, it is at times the most challenging job in the world, but is always the best job! I love my baby boy more each day and love spending time with him and watching his personality grow! It is such an overwhelming love!
I agree with the tiredness! Don't feel bad about sleeping when baby sleeps. Sod the housework! Get as much rest as possible!
Trust your instincts and go with the flow. Don't stick to any books, read them if you want some guidelines but don't follow them to the letter. You will just stress yourself out!
Also, I wish someone had told me that spd pain can return for some women! I had bad hip pain throughout pregnancy and when I had dd, it went until i had my first period - 12 weeks later! dd is now 20 weeks and my hip joints are inflammed and i am in agony walking anywhere! Apparently the pain can last a year or two after birth without treatment!
that they check your bum after the birth that was quite a shock breastfeeding is hard even without problems like sore nipples, be prepared to feed non stop during growth spurts you always have enough milk if lo is sleeping eating pooing and weeing they are feeding well i defy anyone bfing for the first time who doesnt have a im starving my baby moment as other people say accept all help and food and if someone is entertaining the baby say your going to bed. Ignore helpful comments such as breastfed babies dont settle when lo was upset at being passed around hubby is not a mindreader somehow i expected this to change when i gave birth?!! I cried when he smiled for the first time as i was sad he was growing up !!! Think thats about it ,my labour and birth was a fantastic experience i really enjoyed it and it is definatley the most rewarding and hardest thing you will ever do as well as bwing the most natural. Oh and be prepared for the guilt over anything and everything
Doctor's r rubbish, but midwives r fantastic!! My doc told me I wasn't going to go into labour anytime soon as baby's head wasn't engaged, dispite losing my plug, 7 hours later I was in labour!!
Bf is the hardest thing in the world to do!
Housework & ironing do not get done for weeks on end, I've got the wrinkly clothes mum look down to a tee.
That the amount of hair that falls out after a few weeks is immense! It comes out in huge clumps!! Keep thinking I'm gonna be bald soon!
That a simple smile from ur lo is the best feeling in the world!
That there is nothing wrong with your baby if he takes 14 months to start sleeping through the night and you are not doing anything wrong-some babys just take that bit longer x
again, the bum thing. when the mw said she had to check my bum my response was "thats not in the books"
again, bfing! i always tell people that it is hard at first and the first 2 weeks can be hell, so get lansinoh and nipple shields in just in case. much better than them being shocked and stopping.
cotton wool and water is pointless with first poos and bf poos. get some flannel towels and cut them up instead to use damp (or get cheeky wipes).
I was actually told something that I'm glad I was. That you may wet yourself!! My pelvic floor was clearly shot an a few days after giving birth I was dying for the loo and didn't quite make it. Oh the shame!!! At least I was at home.
I wish someone had told me they check your bum cos I really didn't know that. I was also told it was to check they hadn't stitched my bum.
That all milks don't suit all babies. I swapped after about 6 weeks to a comfort milk and my daughter was a different baby. Bye bye colic.
I agree the guilt and worry is overwhelming. I though the worry would go once I held her in my arms but now I think it will never go. I also have had insane thoughts that make me think something bad would happen. I once had a vision that dd would somehow lean out of her cot, grab the calpol from her drawers, open it and drink it. Insane but I couldn't sleep til I took the bottle out of her room. She can't even lean out of her cot to the drawers cos she so short!!
I wish everyone was told you can refuse stiches! I was lucky enough to reseach first (i refused them with my first daughter but only had very small tears) with Lizzie i had a muscle tear and i refused to have the stiches as I researched it and was pleasently supprised to find that alot of women's tears heal just as well without stiches. \i did have 2 midwifes plead with me to have them and I did have to go back the following day to be reassesed but i never did have the stiches and I healed very quickly. My friend who had her baby a few weeks before I had lizzie did have stiches and she said she was in pain and so sore for a long time afterwards. Im not saying go against medical advise, I am just saying please research things for yourself first x
That I had bought some nipple shields to use just in case. My poor hubby had to run to mothercare one evening to get some and to have some formula in the house just in case, as he then had to go to Tesco and get some emergency formula as my pain was so bad. i did get over it though and carried on. I also wish I had read a baby routine book before my baby arrived. I was obsessed with my pregnancy book but when baby arrived we didn't have a clue. 4 weeks later we bought 'Contented Little Baby' by Gina Ford. Now i'm not saying this is the best book and we only ever roughly followed the routines. But some of the tips she gives were invaluable to me, i.e babies tired signs.
Oh and it was really great that I'd cleaned the whole house in a mad nesting fashion before LO arrived because there are parts of this house I haven't cleaned since then!!!!!!!! Ditto all paperwork/admin stuff, just get your house in order so to speak 100% before baby arrives cos it will see you through months of chaos.
Not read all the responses, so sorry if I'm repeating but I wish I had been told that I might have diarrhoea and be violently sick during labour! I thought something was wrong until the mw told me it was really common for the body to have a good clear-out before giving birth.
Also, something the mw told me which is useful is that after giving birth you may lose the 'sensation' of needing a wee - so go the loo every couple of hours whether you think you need to or not. My friend wasn't told this and had agonising stomach pains following a c-section - reason was she needed a wee but didn't feel like it!
I wish someone would have told me there was a possibilty of there not being a break between contractions if your induced, mine were one on top of the other from the off! Awful!! I was waiting for my rest between them and cursing the lying midwife from ante-natal!
I have to agree wit the baby blues comments. I thought i would just cry a bit for a day or too, i didnt realise the guilt, the uselessness or the lack of confidence i would feel with my baby blues! I ahve to say though hubby had done his research so knew what to expect and kept reasurring me instead of freaking out thinking his wife was a wreck lol! I also wish i'd told people i'd contact them when i wanted them to visit or just turned my phone off! When you have your baby suddenly everyone will be demanding or hinting for a visit / cuddle and it can feel like you'll never be your own property again!!!! Turning off the mobile is a godsend though!
I have a few, don't think they've been mentioned? (I've also put these is same thread in Pregnancy)
1) I wish someone had told me that babies get thirtsy?? I had no idea?? I thought they were drinking when they BF or FF, but nooooo thats eating! My DD was crying and I couldn't work out why, when another mum said, maybe she's thirsty?? I asked the MW for some cool boiled water and sure enough, she drank it and stopped crying?? Weird??
2) I hated that the MW's assume you know everything and laugh at you for asking 'silly' questions. I was on the ward, it was the morning after the birth and I needed to have a shower. I didn't know what to do with my baby. It seemed wrong to just leave her in the cot by my bed, so I called for the MW. I asked her 'will you look after my baby whilst I shower' and she laughed at me! She said; just leave her where she is. I said someone might pinch her or swap her, (Did they realise just how beautiful my baby was!!) and the MW then called over another MW and proceeded to tell the story as they piss themselves laughing at me! In the end I was insistent, and said I wouldn't leave her, so they wheeled my daughter in her cot down to the little glass room next to the nurses' station. I had my shower and collected her on the way back!
3) Midwives don't know everything. (2nd baby) -I'm ready to push now' -Your not ready to push, you're only about 6cm' -Please listen to me, I'm ready to push' -No your not, you just need a poo' -Well it's a bloody big poo then' -please just trust us' -please listen to me' -For goodness sake, let's take a look...... Oh yes I can see baby's head' -Told you!!!' Arrgghh! :x
4) Pethadine can make you vomit and if you wretch and vomit you might also wee at the same time
5) BTW: Not everyone has stitches or tears. I had a 7lb 12oz baby first time, my second was 9lb 2oz and I didn't tear with either, just a bit of grazing that stung when I wee'd, so noone had to check my bum. Having a poo post delivery was not a problem for me either, so don't be scared! xxx
Replies
Also that what ever you do you will worry if it is the right thing to do for them!
That the first 3 months are really hard and it is ok if they cry a lot, some babies do and that it WILL improve after 3 months!
I just love being a mummy, it is at times the most challenging job in the world, but is always the best job! I love my baby boy more each day and love spending time with him and watching his personality grow! It is such an overwhelming love!
Trust your instincts and go with the flow. Don't stick to any books, read them if you want some guidelines but don't follow them to the letter. You will just stress yourself out!
Also, I wish someone had told me that spd pain can return for some women! I had bad hip pain throughout pregnancy and when I had dd, it went until i had my first period - 12 weeks later! dd is now 20 weeks and my hip joints are inflammed and i am in agony walking anywhere! Apparently the pain can last a year or two after birth without treatment!
Lx
that they check your bum after the birth that was quite a shock
breastfeeding is hard even without problems like sore nipples, be prepared to feed non stop during growth spurts you always have enough milk
if lo is sleeping eating pooing and weeing they are feeding well i defy anyone bfing for the first time who doesnt have a im starving my baby moment
as other people say accept all help and food and if someone is entertaining the baby say your going to bed.
Ignore helpful comments such as breastfed babies dont settle when lo was upset at being passed around
hubby is not a mindreader somehow i expected this to change when i gave birth?!!
I cried when he smiled for the first time as i was sad he was growing up !!!
Think thats about it ,my labour and birth was a fantastic experience i really enjoyed it and it is definatley the most rewarding and hardest thing you will ever do as well as bwing the most natural. Oh and be prepared for the guilt over anything and everything
Bf is the hardest thing in the world to do!
Housework & ironing do not get done for weeks on end, I've got the wrinkly clothes mum look down to a tee.
That the amount of hair that falls out after a few weeks is immense! It comes out in huge clumps!! Keep thinking I'm gonna be bald soon!
That a simple smile from ur lo is the best feeling in the world!
Jayne xx
again, bfing! i always tell people that it is hard at first and the first 2 weeks can be hell, so get lansinoh and nipple shields in just in case. much better than them being shocked and stopping.
cotton wool and water is pointless with first poos and bf poos. get some flannel towels and cut them up instead to use damp (or get cheeky wipes).
I wish someone had told me they check your bum cos I really didn't know that. I was also told it was to check they hadn't stitched my bum.
That all milks don't suit all babies. I swapped after about 6 weeks to a comfort milk and my daughter was a different baby. Bye bye colic.
I agree the guilt and worry is overwhelming. I though the worry would go once I held her in my arms but now I think it will never go. I also have had insane thoughts that make me think something bad would happen. I once had a vision that dd would somehow lean out of her cot, grab the calpol from her drawers, open it and drink it. Insane but I couldn't sleep til I took the bottle out of her room. She can't even lean out of her cot to the drawers cos she so short!!
with Lizzie i had a muscle tear and i refused to have the stiches as I researched it and was pleasently supprised to find that alot of women's tears heal just as well without stiches. \i did have 2 midwifes plead with me to have them and I did have to go back the following day to be reassesed but i never did have the stiches and I healed very quickly. My friend who had her baby a few weeks before I had lizzie did have stiches and she said she was in pain and so sore for a long time afterwards.
Im not saying go against medical advise, I am just saying please research things for yourself first x
I also wish I had read a baby routine book before my baby arrived.
I was obsessed with my pregnancy book but when baby arrived we didn't have a clue. 4 weeks later we bought 'Contented Little Baby' by Gina Ford. Now i'm not saying this is the best book and we only ever roughly followed the routines. But some of the tips she gives were invaluable to me, i.e babies tired signs.
Also, something the mw told me which is useful is that after giving birth you may lose the 'sensation' of needing a wee - so go the loo every couple of hours whether you think you need to or not. My friend wasn't told this and had agonising stomach pains following a c-section - reason was she needed a wee but didn't feel like it!
xx
Sure theres more but cant think right now!
xx
I also wish i'd told people i'd contact them when i wanted them to visit or just turned my phone off! When you have your baby suddenly everyone will be demanding or hinting for a visit / cuddle and it can feel like you'll never be your own property again!!!! Turning off the mobile is a godsend though!
1) I wish someone had told me that babies get thirtsy?? I had no idea?? I thought they were drinking when they BF or FF, but nooooo thats eating! My DD was crying and I couldn't work out why, when another mum said, maybe she's thirsty?? I asked the MW for some cool boiled water and sure enough, she drank it and stopped crying?? Weird??
2) I hated that the MW's assume you know everything and laugh at you for asking 'silly' questions. I was on the ward, it was the morning after the birth and I needed to have a shower. I didn't know what to do with my baby. It seemed wrong to just leave her in the cot by my bed, so I called for the MW. I asked her 'will you look after my baby whilst I shower' and she laughed at me! She said; just leave her where she is. I said someone might pinch her or swap her, (Did they realise just how beautiful my baby was!!) and the MW then called over another MW and proceeded to tell the story as they piss themselves laughing at me! In the end I was insistent, and said I wouldn't leave her, so they wheeled my daughter in her cot down to the little glass room next to the nurses' station. I had my shower and collected her on the way back!
3) Midwives don't know everything. (2nd baby)
-I'm ready to push now'
-Your not ready to push, you're only about 6cm'
-Please listen to me, I'm ready to push'
-No your not, you just need a poo'
-Well it's a bloody big poo then'
-please just trust us'
-please listen to me'
-For goodness sake, let's take a look...... Oh yes I can see baby's head'
-Told you!!!' Arrgghh! :x
4) Pethadine can make you vomit and if you wretch and vomit you might also wee at the same time
5) BTW: Not everyone has stitches or tears. I had a 7lb 12oz baby first time, my second was 9lb 2oz and I didn't tear with either, just a bit of grazing that stung when I wee'd, so noone had to check my bum. Having a poo post delivery was not a problem for me either, so don't be scared! xxx