Slight inversion of the original question, but Fairythalia's post reminded me of something I was told (over and over) which turned out not to be true:
You do NOT necessarily feel an overwhelming urge to push. I didn't at all - not ever - despite having been assured by everyone I spoke to that I would. I had to be coached through it and very hard work it was too!
It is a truism, but no two pregnancies, births or babies are alike, so really, be prepared for anything. You never know what might (or in my case, might not) happen.
not only is it a struggle to get to the toilet to wee on time but i verynearly didnt get there in time for a poop. and i didnt poop for 3 days, which is apparently normal. oh and they have to know youve weed. the mw waited outside the toilet to hear me wee.
you will eat, sleep and dream breastfeeding. i, on more than one occasion, woke up thinking i was bfing and woke my hubby up to ask him to take the baby off me as i had fallen asleep. the baby was in her basket. once i stood up, walked to the top of the stairs and shouted for my hubby to please take the baby off me. he had her downstairs. even walking to the starirs i was convinced she was in my arms attached to the boob. once i even asked hubby to take this baby off me as dd needed feeding now, so i was convinced i had a second baby. it just felt like i was feeding with the nipple sensations i was getting!!!
i wasnt induced, had a short labour relatively speaking (less than 7 hours) and my contractions were on top of each other too. the natal hypnotherapy tape angered me at that point as the voice promised me a break that would be plenty in between contractions.
That it can be normal for a bf baby to not cry for a feed for a good few hours! I was induced and ended up with a forceps delivery as well as Diamorphine and an epidural. My dd had a ebf syringe feed an hour or so after birth as i was too knackered and still quite out of it. She ended up not feeding until the next afternoon! She was born at 11pm. The mw gave me a row for not feeding her but the bf support workers said it was completely normal after what i had been through. Your baby will let you know soon enough if they are hungry - my dd just wanted to sleep after her stressful journey
do not - I repeat - DO NOT go clothes shopping straight after the birth. Its not pleasant. You will not regain your rightful shape for a while whilsteverything sucks back in and rearranges itself Your waist has dissappeared and your hips are streched so jeans look horrible and dresses make you feel miserable..give yourself atleast 12 weeks before you venture out. Its perfectly acceptable to keep wearning your maternity clothes untill 4 months :P
That if you do get stitches...they have ice packs you can ask for!
That the night you first get home you may be so tired that youll conk out and wont hear your baby screaming for you...my OH told me later that this happened whilst I was in the room but I was too tired to hear. Its normal to do this. You are NOT a bad mum..youre just shattered and switched off because there was something there you trusted with your baby.
That everyone and their dog knows more than you about your baby...and that no, he is most defineatly NOT crying because he has a sore tummy every single bloody time..what is it with grandparents thinking their tummy is sore all the friggin time? Do they think I feed him arsenic or something??
Dont let anyone do anything to your baby or give them anything you dont want. My MIL bullied me into buying a dummy when I didnt want LO to have one..but I had hit the baby blues and caved in to everything so she won..I was also talked off of breastfeeding rather than encouraged...it was all my fault but I cant help but feel if I was left the hell alone without everyones little opinion I would have reasoned with myself and talked myself out of quitting.
That clothes dont need to fit. Were programmed as women to find clothes that fit us perfectly in ever way. You do that for your baby and theyre only going to wear it once, Fact. Get clothes that are a size too big, ok so it may look a bit strange now, but itll keep him warm and hell be able to wear it longer.
Im sure theres more but im being sidetracked by the football lol x
...that EVERYONE would have an opinion on how you raise your baby (or babies in my case!) Everyone insisted they knew what it was like and I needed to do this or do that. They didnt as they werent trying to care for 2 babies at the same time...and they werent 'their' babies!
That babies arent 'computers' and the more you try to 'program' them, the more anxious, frustrated and upset you become...well, this was my experience anyway. My boys found their own routine soon enough!
thats true gemmie. we didnt do routines with esme and were totally babyled. i have since read a book with a suggested routine and she does it anyway! but it doesn remind me that this is nap time etc.
Replies
You do NOT necessarily feel an overwhelming urge to push. I didn't at all - not ever - despite having been assured by everyone I spoke to that I would. I had to be coached through it and very hard work it was too!
It is a truism, but no two pregnancies, births or babies are alike, so really, be prepared for anything. You never know what might (or in my case, might not) happen.
you will eat, sleep and dream breastfeeding. i, on more than one occasion, woke up thinking i was bfing and woke my hubby up to ask him to take the baby off me as i had fallen asleep. the baby was in her basket. once i stood up, walked to the top of the stairs and shouted for my hubby to please take the baby off me. he had her downstairs. even walking to the starirs i was convinced she was in my arms attached to the boob. once i even asked hubby to take this baby off me as dd needed feeding now, so i was convinced i had a second baby. it just felt like i was feeding with the nipple sensations i was getting!!!
"the natal hypnotherapy tape angered me at that point as the voice promised me a break that would be plenty in between contractions. "
I can just imagine how annoyed you were!!
xx
do not - I repeat - DO NOT go clothes shopping straight after the birth. Its not pleasant. You will not regain your rightful shape for a while whilsteverything sucks back in and rearranges itself
That if you do get stitches...they have ice packs you can ask for!
That the night you first get home you may be so tired that youll conk out and wont hear your baby screaming for you...my OH told me later that this happened whilst I was in the room but I was too tired to hear. Its normal to do this. You are NOT a bad mum..youre just shattered and switched off because there was something there you trusted with your baby.
That everyone and their dog knows more than you about your baby...and that no, he is most defineatly NOT crying because he has a sore tummy every single bloody time..what is it with grandparents thinking their tummy is sore all the friggin time? Do they think I feed him arsenic or something??
Dont let anyone do anything to your baby or give them anything you dont want. My MIL bullied me into buying a dummy when I didnt want LO to have one..but I had hit the baby blues and caved in to everything so she won..I was also talked off of breastfeeding rather than encouraged...it was all my fault but I cant help but feel if I was left the hell alone without everyones little opinion I would have reasoned with myself and talked myself out of quitting.
That clothes dont need to fit. Were programmed as women to find clothes that fit us perfectly in ever way. You do that for your baby and theyre only going to wear it once, Fact. Get clothes that are a size too big, ok so it may look a bit strange now, but itll keep him warm and hell be able to wear it longer.
Im sure theres more but im being sidetracked by the football lol x
That babies arent 'computers' and the more you try to 'program' them, the more anxious, frustrated and upset you become...well, this was my experience anyway. My boys found their own routine soon enough!