what is wrong with him?

my oh is meetin his dad today, they have a difficult relationship. not at a child friendly pub where he can see fin but at a rough as arseholes pub whuch has annoyed me no end. everytime we see his dad(twice in nearly 8 months), he becomes a complete nob!! this mornin i ended gettin up with lo as he was tired. his phone rang, it was his dad, so he gets up and i just asked who rang, he goes ;no1 you know'. i jokily went 'well b******s to you then' he was like 'i beg your pardon' and now has a right face on. iv cleaned all the house and made him breakfast and that not enough. i dont know what his dad has said but he wont tell me. i want to smack him - he says i talk to him like sh*t but i purposely watch how i speak to him cos i can be a bit sharp at times. but he seems to think he can talk to me however he likes. i want him to sod off out on his own but then he thinks im tryin to chuck him. his dad has f***ed up his perception of relationships (he was a violent alcoholic)and yet as soon as he rings we all have to run round to his dads tune and yet i cant organise anythin with my family without asking!!!

im sorry its longwinded and just a rant but if i dont get it out im going to punch him in the face.
xxx

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  • hi, cant read and run..... id say speak to ur oh and tell him how you feel, he sees you everyday so you and lo should take priority, sorry to be harsh, but not his 'part-time' so called dad. hes obviously got some bonding issues, and the best way to get through these things is to talk...

    sorry im not much use, but ant good relationship is based on trust and communication.

    good luck
  • hon, I can sympathise with you - i have similar probs with my hubby and his dad...FIL has met Braedon once, 2 weeks ago and we had to take the baby to a rough pub to go see him because everytime we try to vsit him, he just goes out to the pub. He even has the f***in cheek to phone us and moan that he hasnt even met his grandson cos we never visit! My oh is the same, despite knowing that his dad is a drunken wste of space who spent most of his life in prison or in the pub, oh will do anything to keep him happy. I dont understand it myself, how can he keep trying so hard to please a man who so obviously doesnt care? luckily we dont hear from him very often but when he does phone and hubby goes running off to see him, i get really angry.

    sorry hon, cant offer any advice as such...like emilyb said maybe just talk to him and ask your oh to explain his feeling towards his dad and then talk through how u feel about it all. He should def understand that your family is just as important and not cause trouble when u want to see your family. hopefully u can reach a compromise x
    ps if u do let me know how u managed it - i can never do that with my hubby!!! xxxxx
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