Feeling like a useless Mummy today ....

*sigh* .....

I'm afraid that today I am having a down day, I seem to have been having them on and off for the last week so guessing it's the dreaded Baby Blues

George is 2 weeks old tomorrow and on one hand I can't believe how quickly it's gone, but I never realised how tough being a Mummy would be!

All George seems to do is sleep an scream - is this normal ?? Our routine basically consists of him having a bottle every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, with a nappy change first - he screams blue murder the entire time his nappy is being changed and doesn't stop until the bottle goes in his mouth. Then we burp him and try and put him back down. He refuses to settle most of the time, he will happily sleep in our arms, but as soon as we try and put him in his moses basket, he strarts screaming again until we pick him up again, and so the cycle continues again - all day and night. Sleep deprivation is not helping, as some nights I have to stay awake all night whilst he sleeps on me, and as he won't go down in the day, I'm not getting chance to have a nap when he does.

Is it normal for him to sleep so much and scream so much. He is basically only awake when he is screaming :cry:

He was only little when he was born (5lb 14oz) which I am guessing is contributing to the problems, as the Doctor thinks he has colic, which is making things more difficult.

I do try and interact with him, during his nappy changes when he is awake, but it is such a traumatic experience with him crying, it's very hard - I just try and do it as quickly as I can. Should he be more alert and interacting more?

DH goes back to work next week and I am dreading it as I don't see how I will be able to do anything whilst trying to cuddle/settle George. I have only managed to get myself dressed and showered this week as DH has looked after him whilst I have done it!

I guess what I want to know is, is this "normal" and does everyone find it so hard, when will it get better?

DH seems much more relaxed about it than me, but some days I just feel so tearful and wonder if things will ever get better. I worry that I am being a bad Mummy and not meeting George's needs :\(


  • Oh Honey I was exactly the same as you so yes I think it is normal at that age.

    Lucas is now 10 weeks and is a world apart from back then, although there are still days when I can't do much without him crying but they are getting fewer and further between.

    Nappy changing used to be awful, but now it's a time for lots of smiles and playing, but that didn't happen until about 3 or 4 weeks.

    Particularly with low birth weight, frequent feeding and sleeping is normal until they reach a good weight, so don't worry. Lucas was born at 10lbs 2.5oz, and he fed every 2-3 hours until 2 weeks ago when he moved himself to every 4-5 hours! Sometimes he stays awake for 2-3 hours, sometimes only 20 mins.

    I still can't get him to fall asleep anywhere other than me, but once he's been asleep for 15 mins I can transfer him and at night he sleeps anywhere from 5-9 hours, and in the day between 30 mins and 2 hours. We'll tackle self settling when he's ready. I still co-sleep with him in the mornings and if I need an afternoon nap - there are ways to do it safely and this should ease the sleep deprivation. I've found carrying him round in a sling helps me get stuff done, or OH deals with it when he gets home!!!

    I also swear by our cranial osteopath. We took Lucas when he was 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks and 9 weeks, and we'll go back in 3 months time. He was born with his cord round his neck and this caused some soft tissue damage to his neck and this led to stiffness in his neck and back which influences digestion, can cause headaches etc. Once she corrected this his colic nigh on disappeared and his sleep improved almost overnight. See if there's one in your area - I cannot speak highly enough of mine. I also find Infacol and a dummy help get his wind out (the dummy keeps him calm enough to relax and bring it up).

    I've gone on a bit - sorry!!! In short, it is totally normal and you are NOT a bad Mummy, you are doing the hardest job in the world and you are doing it well. Everyone needs help, don't be afraid to ask for it, be it a shoulder to cry on or someone to hold bubba while you take a soak in the tub for an hour.

    Big hugs and HTH

  • Oh Hun, this is totally normal. My LO also kicks off big style if I try to change his nappy when he is due a feed. So now I leave it and change it after he has been fed, and he is in a much better mood. He is 9 weeks now and the screaming is getting much less and he is starting to sleep longer periods through the night. Just hang on in there it does get a little easier. Either that or we get used to it. You are in no way a useless mummy. If you were you wouldn't be bothered enough to post on here!!
  • Hey hun, you're not a useless mummy at all! It honestly does get better...

    Others have suggested colief and infacol. I would also recommend gripe water - my DD would do a huge burp after being given this!!

    And I def agree with willibelucky, do the nappy change after a feed - it will make for a happier time for both of you! Will also give him a chance to not have his nappy on for 5 mins to get some air and you have a play together while he's lying on the mat.

    Hang in there hun, once the hormones pass and the sleep slowly gets better, you'll look back on these days and think only of the good times xxx
  • Just to add that what you are feeling is totally normal. I didn't have a colicky baby and I remember all too well feeling like a totally useless mummy who wasn't capable of looking after her own child when Peter was that age. You are a very good mummy (or you wouldn't be worried about all of this) and you will find a way to cope until it gets easier, as it will, I promise. On the day your husband goes back to work, think back to today and how you felt. Then compare it how you feel at that moment. I'm no prophet, but I'm almost certain you will be amazed by how far you and you lo have come in just a few days. You are both learning to live with each and it is a very steep learning curve but it does get easier every day and you will amaze yourself by what you are capable of.

    Good luck and enjoy your cuddles if you can. x
  • Ooh! Forgot to say...I swear by swaddling for sleeping by himself...I use Miracle blankets from Mothercare and in this weather he's fine in them and just a nappy, or you can just use a large square blanket with one corner folded down. It helps them feel secure, they don't seem to notice being put down if they fall asleep and it stops them waking themselves up with their startle reflex.

    Hope you're feeling a bit happier today hon...

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