Hard work

Me again

Rose is now 3 weeks old tomorrow and while she is a very good baby she does have her days where she cries a lot and all she wants to be is held. Hubby has just gone back to work and next week is my first sort of full week with her on my own.

I found it really hard work yesterday and last night , she just cried and cried bless her and I checked her nappy checked she was not hungry checked she was not too hot or too cold. I know babies cry but it really worries me as I worry something is really wrong you know.

I also have felt a little tearful today, I think now I have my pills for my breast and my scar has been very sore today from the c setion I just feel like I want to feel myself again you know. I had a crapy 9 months of pregnancy and was ill the whole way through and was in so much pain for the last few months with SPD and then the labour was pretty horrid as well and nothing went right for me and now I just want to enjoy my little girl but have got mastitis, and had engorged breasts and been sore with breast feeding it's like I am tired of feeling ill and tired do you know what I mean?

I am not depressed or anything like that but today it has hit me a few times and I have got tearful and I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. I got to tell hubby but I just start crying so it's easier for me to write it down on here.

K xx


  • aww huge hugs hun .things will get better u probably have a bit of baby blues we all get them .just let it all out ,i hope u get some more rest tonight

    lisa xxxxxx
  • oh I so well remember those first few weeks - mine were hard for different reasons but I well remember those days where both max and I were tearing and upset all day!

    Sounds silly but do you have a sling cos sometimes they just wanna be held close all the time! and it might help but don't know if you can with a c section scar initially!
  • I agree with chuffedbaby its probably a touch of baby blues, coupled with the worry of being on your own with lo.

    You're right that babies do cry for no apparant reason, when charlotte used to do it i just used to remind myself that its her version of talking as she cant do anything else and if it got to me I would make her safe and then leave the room to take a few deep breaths.
  • Hi K-Lou, I had an em-sec too and I think the shcck of it all hits you as well as the normal post-birth hormones- I felt very teary and worried about Joseph all the time too. If you're up to it, maybe go for a walk? (obviously short at first as you're still healing up) I find it makes me feel better, even if he just cries the whole way, it seems quieter outside somehow! lol And often used to send him to sleep when he was tiny so double bonus. x
  • I don't think anyone can ever prepare you for how hard the first few weeks are going to be. You and Rose and compltely normal for feeling this way.

    Agree with CC try her in a sling. Quite often I wore lo in a sling so that I could do the dishes and make the bed and he was either happy or went to sleep.

    Also have you room to put the pram up indoors? On days when the sling wasn't working and he just wouldn't stop crying I pushed him round the house in the pram. To the toilet, to make a cup of tea, honestly I pushed him everywhere just to calm him.

    You could try white noise. Sometimes the hoover or hairdryer works a treat. I hoovered every day for a week as he happily went to sleep with the noise. then that stopped working and I moved onto find a new trick.

    Just try to remember she's not crying cos she's unhappy with you. You're right when you say, babies just cry sometimes. It's us as mums that feel the need to do something to soothe them. And trust me I did everything. Also don't worry about bad habits forming etc, she's far too young. So if she will only sleep in sling, on you or in pram, then let her. These days will pass and it will get easier, I promise.

    Hope boobs start to feel better. And once you start to heal it will all start to fall into place. take care. S x
  • awwwww bless ya hunny, it is hard work, but i promise it gets easier! Don't be too hard on yourself, your body has been through a lot and needs some time to recover. I know what you mean about wanting to feel yourself again!
    Re the crying, have you tried putting her in a sling? I only ask because Bella was exactly the same, she just screamed whenever i put her down, and my sling was a godsend as she was snuggled up and happy and i had my hands free to do other things!
    And yes its totally normal to be feeling a bit tearful yourself too, the best thing to do is say how you're feeling and let it all out! Thats what we're all here for, so feel free to vent whenever you need to xxxxx
  • Ahh hunny, I know how you're feeling. I had a c-section too and then also had mastitis twice - agony!
    My scar also got infected and my lo was one not to be put down AT ALL!
    She didn't sleep anywhere but in my arms for the first six weeks so I got nothing done as hubby went back to work after just 2!
    It does get better, I promise! You proabably are a bit down about your oh going back to work and the antibiotics mess you up as well as the pain killers you have probably been on after the c-section.
    Treasure these moments though - honestly - cuddling them at this age is amazing.
    They just get better and better though - the first 6 weeks are the hardest and you're half way there!

    [Modified by: marathon bar on August 29, 2009 09:17 PM]

  • So sorry you're feeling down. Everything everyone else has said is right - your hormones will be raging around your body, and new motherhood is very overwhelming.

    Don't put yourself under any pressure to do anything. I had a c-section and I told my OH that once he went back to work, my job was to look after Lyla and myself. Anything else I managed to get done was a bonus. In those first few weeks, you shouldn't feel under any pressure to do housework - you've just had major surgery. You need to rest as much as you can - sounds like setting yourself up on the sofa cuddling LO is what you need to spend most of your time doing. If you can, try and get out once a day - just put Rose in her pram and go for a short walk. The sunshine (if we get any!) and fresh air will do wonders for both of you.

    I know how horrible mastitis can be - is it because you've had sore/cracked nipples so you're not feeding as much? I recommend you get yourself some Lansinoh nipple cream and use it after EVERY feed - I wish someone had told me about it sooner - it's amazing stuff.

    Enjoy these precious first weeks - you'll never get that time back again and they grow so quickly. In a few months you'll look back and find it hard to believe you felt as you do now. As someone else has said, the first 6 weeks are without doubt the hardest, and you're halfway there!

    Take care xxx
  • Hey hun, have u got a baby swing? We bought one for joshua and in the early days was a godsend it really helped to settle him, he still uses it now at 4 months. I know everyone has said it but it does get easier, just take one day at a time. xxxx
  • It is such hard work the 1st few weeks and i thought it would never end,but i'm happy to say it does!!
    Ethan is now 8 weeks old and everything has finally settled into place with feeding and sleeping.
    He didn't settle very well in the beginning,i too had a c section and they do have a lot of mucus,this maybe why Rose is still a little unsettled? A baby swing is a great idea for her and would give you a rest too.
    It does get easier believe me,like loufairy says just take one day at a time!
    Take care.xx
  • Thanks girls, I am pleased everybody seems to think it's gets easier after 6 weeks I am half way there so that puts a smile on my face image

    I do have a sling it's a bubba sling but we tried to put her in it for the first time last night and she hated it. To be honest I am not sure we did it right I could not really see her the sling just wrapped around her and she got all stressed out and started to cry so we got her out of it.

    What sling would you say is the best a sling one or one where they are in the front of you laying straight up sort of thing?

    K xxx
  • We had a one that he was sort of sat up in against my chest if that makes sense: www.mooboocarriers.co.uk will show you what I mean - total life saver and at 21 months Max still goes in it on my back!!! image
  • aw bless you K, it is so hard, and you get so fed up with people saying it'll get easier but it sooo does. I would be lost without Phoebe's vibrating bouncer, it plays music and has a couple of toys fixed on the sides, it's a mothercare one (but we got second hand). As for the crying, I agree re white noise, Phoebe calms down when we stand next to tumble dryer. She is one of these babies who has a break-your-heart 5 mins of utter screaming ab-dabs before going to sleep, it's horrid. Have you got antibiotics for the mastitis? I had it too, it cleared up quite quickly, I found laying hot flannel on boob then expressing really helpful and sorry if sounds obvious but make sure Rose empties each one properly (squeeze to see if any droplets left). Hugs x
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